What the Playoffs Mean: Tactics

As a serious tactics nerd, a guy who loves just getting waist deep in statistics, strategy and—most importantly—tactics, the NBA Playoffs are a delight to take in on a nightly basis.

The possibility that two teams could face each other—and only each other—for seven games in a row, offers the unique opportunity for coaches to plan and build a tactical scheme, night-in, night-out. It is the truest test of tactical acumen. It highlights why basketball is the sport most influenced and affected by tactics.

Smart tactics, and a team is hoisting the trophy at the end of the season, spraying champagne over one another, smoking cigars.

Poor tactics and it's Vinny Del Negro, sitting at his laptop updating the ol’ resume.

“Former NBA Player, Coach and Avid Fan. Looking to sink my teeth into the most ambitious of basketball-related projects.”

Wherein some consider the NFL the most tactical of all games (a team can literally do a fake field goal every play if it wants, i.e. tactics), the NFL playoffs are all one-offs. The coach has one shot to get his tactics right and then either wins or loses. The winner develops entirely new tactics for an entirely new opponent. It is tactical, sure, but not as tactical in the sense that the tactics in the NBA remain critical over the course of a potential two weeks.

It is tactics in the NBA, living and breathing tactics, tactics forever shifting and growing, tactics.

Baseball is not really a tactical game in that the only tactical decisions that are made is whether or not to hit-and-run, bunt or bring in a left-handed relief pitcher. Are these tactics? Sure, but baseball is a sport of one-on-one battles and then a group of defensive players doing their best not to make a mistake.

“Oh boy, he really should have caught that ball. Well, that’s baseball, Susan.”

No tactics there.

Does deciding whether to creep a third baseman forward to protect a potential bunt count as tactics? Unequivocally, no. Not when compared to figuring out how the hell to stop the 6’8” 260-pound perfect specimen that is LeBron James over the course of seven games.

Hockey, the sport furthest from the sphere of anything that even closely resembles tactics, is a sport wherein the players do their best to dump the puck in the opponent’s zone. That’s about it. No tactics there. Even if there were tactics (and just to be clear, we've established that there are not tactics), it is impossible to see the puck on TV so how would anyone even be able to tell? Bring back the mid-90s Fox broadcast where the puck was lit up. Those are some tactics by Fox right there.

Soccer is tactically driven, yes, but again the playoff competitions are almost always one-offs or two-offs, so it follows a similar pattern to the NFL: set the tactics before the match, maybe make a substitute or two (mostly bringing on a defender if a team is winning or an attacker if the team is losing) and then move on to the next match. Yes, there is a difference between playing a 4-4-2 and a 4-2-3-1, but it is not different like apples and oranges are different.

There are absolutely zero tactics in lacrosse, wherein the only foreseeable tactic is to win ground balls and then work the ball around the outside of the attacking zone until the best player either goes one-on-one or shoots from distance. No tactics in that. Maybe some tactics in the “fo-go” ("face-off, get off"), the player that specializes in face-offs and then promptly leaves the field. There is a spattering of tactics there, but that’s more of a position than anything else. Good try on the tactics there, lacrosse.

No tactics in beach volleyball: Bump, set, spike!

Are there any other team sports?

The individual sports? “Fa-get-about-it!” No tactics in boxing: punch the other person until they collapse in a heap of brain damage. No tactics in tennis: hit the ball where the opponent cannot get it! No tactics in golf: Give that little white dimpled ball a real whack! No tactics in wrestling: “Take him down, Eddie!” No tactics in track: run faster than the person next to you who is also running fast. No tactics in swimming: Swim faster than the person next to you who is also swimming fast.

Nope, the tactics—the truest of tactics—come in the NBA playoffs. Take, for instance, this fascinating Eastern Conference series taking place. Roy Hibbert has been giving the Heat fits all series, so what does Miami do? Tactics! Double Hibbert when he’s high in the paint and force the big to make a decision. That’s tactics. Love those tactics.

The rub here is that over the next 48 hours, the coaches and players will watch the tape of the game probably four or five times, discuss at length what worked and what did not, and come up with an entirely new set of tactics.

Should the Pacers protect the three-point line? Tactics. Should they deny LeBron the ball? Tactics. Should they play through Hibbert? Tactics.

The tactics are everywhere in the playoffs.

Foul a three-point shooter with a three-point lead at the end of a game: Freaking tactics right there. Pick-and-rolls, double-down, transition defense, spread the floor, isolation, ball movement: Jesus, Mary and Joseph! My head is spinning with all these NBA Playoff basketball tactics.

So, as the Playoffs continue into June, know that the tactics are everywhere. Know that the players have a clear tactical goal in mind, acutely and meticulously discussed and planned by their coaching staff for hours and hours and hours and hours.

Like Daniel Day Lewis, in the NBA Playoffs, there will be tactics.

No Regard Previews: NBA Forever

One Game We Will Watch Tonight: Miami Heat vs. Memphis Grizzles

How could we not suggest that this is the game you watch tonight?

Everything Life Has to Offer, Including the Jumbotron

Sometimes we go to a basketball game and nothing happens. Players set picks, coaches scribble lines on a white board and fans crush concessions. Then there's the once-in-a-hundred-years game where just about every emotion one experiences in life seeps through the cracks of an arena and overwhelms us. It  leaves us feeling strange, confused, ecstatic, moved, hopeful, emotional, depressed, perplexed, angry, embarrassed, amazed, drained, grateful, delighted and awkwardly dancing for thousands to see. That was my afternoon on a chilly Sunday in Boston.

PSA: Make Sure You're Watching LeBron

This is a friendly reminder to watch LeBron James every chance you get. Whether it's a nationally televised game against the Thunder on Christmas day or a loss against the Wizards in December, watch LeBron James. Whether you can focus in on a whole game or just snag five minutes of the second quarter, watch LeBron James.

If you have a girlfriend or boyfriend or husband or wife who doesn't normally watch the NBA, make them watch LeBron James for a minute. If you have a son or daughter, make sure they watch LeBron James. If you're at a bar and there's a dumb football game or college basketball game on the television, ask them to turn on LeBron James.

Watch him because he's the best, maybe ever. Watch him because everything he does—everything—is breathtaking. Watch him because what else are you doing with your life, chief?

This won't last forever and it's important. Watch him.

No Regard Recaps: All Is Love

One Game We Watched Last Night: Minnesota Timberwolves vs. Oklahoma City Thunder

Wolves: 99, Thunder: 93

The Timberwolves have become a team from the '80s that your dad would tell you about. The kind of story you'd listen to with disbelief and jealousy that you missed out on this crew by 15 years of existence.

"You would have loved watching Rubio."

"Yeah I bet," you would respond, irritated at having to hear this for the tenth time because yeah, obviously you would have loved watching Rubio.

"The passing was there like everyone says it was, but he was also a long, tough defender and this odd type of floor general. He had so much experience in his pocket, but was still so young—or at least always seemed young. He was goofy, but that silliness was only relevant because he was so skilled. And oh god the passes."

"Wow." You kind of hate this exercise in "you should have been there" NBA chat, but you also can't help but want to hear more.

"And this team just had a bunch of kind of mystical dudes. Love was as fun to watch rebound as anyone and his shot had such a low arc that you never thought it would go in but did. Peković was essentially a really well rolled D&D character. Brandon Roy was doing this really weird post-retirement comeback tour. You've never heard if JJ Barea, but he had energy and could heat up and somehow played a big role in a lot of important basketball games in his career. In fact, this whole team seemed to play up for big games. They were always worth the ticket price when they came to town. You had to head to the arena and check them out."

"That's cool," you say as you walk away, trying to play it all down. But you're bummed you never got a chance to see this team. They seemed great.

But lucky for us, we are watching them right now. And if we have kids who care at all about the NBA, they're going to have to sit through our drivel about Rubio and the gang. Oh well.

One Game We Didn't Watch Last Night: Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks

Heat: 110, Mavs: 95

How much better is LeBron than anyone else in the NBA right now? Assume Durant is number two, which is the correct assumption. LeBron is what, five times as good as him? Then just think how much better he is than a lower tier all-star like Danny Granger. LeBron is probably 15 times as good as Danny Granger, right? Am I way off here? Any scientists want to weigh in here?

No Regard Presidential Previews: Cleveland Cavaliers (James Garfield)

Oh the season. Oh the season! Election or NBA, both are upon us. We're getting into the spirit by bringing you our season previews (with a little help from the presidents). One per day for the next 30 days—which will bring us to the Day of Reckoning. So please join us on the campaign trail as we shake hands, kiss babies and sink jumpers.

“There can be no permanent disenfranchised peasantry in the United States.” - James Garfield

Despite serving eight terms in the House of Representatives, James Garfield's rise was seen as meteoric, as the son of a local wrestler became the first president ever elected directly from the House. Garfield's term was short-lived but eventful, somehow fitting in Civil Service Reform, a Naval modernization bill, a trade treaty with Madagascar, a Supreme Court appointment, placement of African Americans to prominent government posts and some economic stuff I don't understand into only 200 days. On July 2, 1881, Garfield was shot by a psychotic stalker and died from related complications that September.

James Garfield's presidency, as the Cavs contender status, seemed to end as quickly as it started. Over two years later, it is impossible to mentally separate the Cavaliers from "The Decision," possibly history's most ill-advised TV special. The Cavaliers, previously most famous for being on the receiving end of Jordan-over-Ehlo in 1989, rose to prominence in the mid-2000s on the back of local wunderkind LeBron Raymone James. With five playoff appearances in a row, two number one seeds, one NBA Finals trip and an additional Conference Finals exit, Cleveland enjoyed a quick rise from the lottery to being a perennial contender. Then "The Decision" happened. A team that had only two home losses in '08-'09 and was the top seed again the following year immediately fell back to irrelevancy at the bottom of the Eastern Conference. It happened so fast it feels like it never happened at all.

Even a metal detector specially invented by Alexander Graham Bell couldn't locate the bullet in the 20th President's body and save his life. However, modern medicine (or maybe it was a trade with the Clippers, it was probably the trade with the Clippers) was able to give the Cavs a modicum of hope. The Cavs traded Mo Williams to LA's B-squad for Baron Davis and a first rounder and, wouldn't ya know, that pick turned out to be number one overall (on a separate note, Baron Davis's last action in a Clipper uniform was throwing a pass out of the sunroof of a Kia Optima). The Cavs chose Uncle Drew Kyrie Irving, added Tristan Thompson three picks later and a new core was formed.

As exciting as the spectacular Irving is, it's hard not to read the Cavs roster and think "who?" every third or fourth name. Anderson Varejao is the highest-paid player on the team and Luke Walton, so far removed from the glory days of Laker women, is second on the list. Varejao might start for a contender, but Walton has been on contenders before and didn't get a ton of (on-court) action. There is vague hope for the future, but this isn't really a team to get excited about yet. There will be a lot of double-digit losses and probably another lottery appearance, but at least they have a future. At least the assassination, unlike Garfield's, didn't go as planned.


Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers

Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Diglett


Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Irving Looking to Make 'The Leap'"

Headline we're most looking forward to: "Cavs Offer Five Minutes of Game Time to Local Tall Dude, Fans Mistake Him for Actual Cavs Benchwarmer"

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "Oh yeah, some jerk on ESPN wearing a purple checkered shirt said you might be coming."

No Regard Presidential Previews: Miami Heat (Barack Obama)

Oh the season. Oh the season! Election or NBA, both are upon us. We're getting into the spirit by bringing you our season previews (with a little help from the presidents). One per day for the next 30 days—which will bring us to the Day of Reckoning. So please join us on the campaign trail as we shake hands, kiss babies and sink jumpers.

“If you turn away now – if you buy into the cynicism that the change we fought for isn't possible… well, change will not happen.” - Barack Obama

Grand, unreasonable promises were made. Optimistic mantras were turned into sarcastic comments on early failures. Change is within reach, but uncertain.

With LeBron’s megalomaniacal aspirations and the Ray Allen injection, this Miami Heat season will almost definitely avoid the lame duck championship hangover. These guys have survived a first term filled with rabid naysayers yelling about broken promises, but you can only win so many championships each year. And now they are ready to chase history. LeBron is unhinged and Bosh has settled in to his role (which is photobombing). Wade’s health is, as always, a question mark, but how much does that matter anymore? Mike Miller is dead, and Rashard Lewis is alive.

Let’s prematurely crown them once again and fast forward to their kind-of-inevitable Finals matchup with the Lakers: The decisive battleground in The Positional Revolution. Will Coach Spo, the unassuming up-ender of basketball mores, continue leading the path towards positional irrelevance? Or will he bend to the Lakers’ size and play five guys with different heights? Does he have the personnel to even make that choice? Will he start wearing the backwards hat during games?

Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers

Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Team Rocket

Headline we'll be most sick of reading: “LeBron shows once again why he is finally the best player in the game.”

Headline we're most looking forward to: “Super Nintendo Chalmers Something Something Something Something.”

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: “Jesus, you guys really are fun to watch.”

No Regard Recap: Stealing Time From The Faulty Plan

One Game We Watched Last Night: Miami Heat vs. Oklahoma City Thunder

I think LeBron James gets tired. Which is fine, I guess. He does spend all day either running around or thinking about exactly how he’s going to run around later or worrying that people who’ve never met him will say rude things about the ways in which he’s been running around recently. And then he lifts heavy weights until he’s ripped through most of his muscles—and there are so many muscles to rip through—so his body can rebuild those muscles better, bigger than before. He must have to consume so many calories each day just to stay awake, let alone perform at the absolute zenith of athletic capability for extended periods. So yes, I think LeBron James gets tired.

I’m not trying to make excuses for James’ occasional fourth quarter lapses, just looking for reasons. And I think this may be one of them. He tries to win the game early and sometimes this leaves him gassed in the fourth, leading to too many flat, dizzy Wade jumpers. LeBron has always looked most self-assured, most confident in every muscle twitch when his team’s up by like eight in the fourth. These situations are when he always seems to hit that dagger three—the same three that seems to elude him when the game is tied. Being the best player on the floor—on both sides of the ball—for three quarters is probably very draining. Obviously he’s not the first player forced to live with this burden, but he’s the player that I’m talking about right now. He’s also the player that looked a few breathes away from heaven after the 45-point master class that was game six against the Celtics. He gets tired is my point.

If this is really the problem—and there's a good chance it's not because what do I know—then what’s the solution? I say LeBron inverts his world view, stop worrying, and learn to value the fourth quarter more. If you asked him, I bet he'd say that all quarters are created equal. That's kind of true, but also, the fourth quarter is the last quarter, the only quarter where if you're winning at the end, you win the game. So it's a little more important.

The Thunder, during this playoff run at least, seem to have the opposite disposition. They are often slow to get going. But then they get going and it's a real problem for their opponent. They seem little concerned with double digit deficits, especially in that crazy building they play in. They're fine pacing themselves. Surely there will be a game in this series, perhaps even game two, in which the Heat carve out a differential that OKC is unable to scale. But for the first game at least, the Thunder's interpretation of the NBA's temporal construct was the better one. Let's see if LeBron can find the wrinkle in game two.

No Regard Previews: The Wonder

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Miami Heat vs. Indiana Pacers

A thing happens if and only if that thing happens. If not, then it doesn't happen.

This Miami Heat team may very well generate the most discussion of any sports team ever. They also render any and all pre- or post-game analysis pretty much moot. Their high-tempo, turnover-to-fast-break style of basketball (perfectly branded the "flying death machine" by basketball writer Matt Moore) either works or it doesn't. When it works, they win. When it doesn't, they lose. This is mostly true for any NBA team with a strong identity, but with the Heat, it's gospel. When they power bomb passing lanes and turn long rebounds into breakaway dunks, they're unbeatable. When it doesn't work, everyone talks about breaking up the gang. Whether or not this happens, though, doesn't seem grounded in any sort of recognizable pattern. It kind of just happens or doesn't. There's not really any way to know beforehand if the Heat will unsheathe their fire-blade on any given night. Do I think they will tonight? I do. But what do I (or you) know?

I know it's a little more complicated than I'm making it out to be, but it's also kind of not.

One Game We Probably Won't Watch Tonight: Los Angeles Kings vs. Phoenix Coyotes

Can you believe that's how you pronounce/spell "coyotes"? That's way off. We weren't even close on that one.

No Regard Recaps: Heads Up, Heads Off

One Game We Watched Last Night: Miami Heat vs. Chicago Bulls

Heat: 83 Bulls: 72

If Wade's elbow to the gut of Rip Hamilton didn't qualify Miami's desire to win a championship this season, then LBJ's bone-crunching, bicep-led pick certainly must have.

For the second time this calendar year, LeBron showcased just how much of an aberration he is when it comes to athleticism and the human race. And for the second time this season, John Lucas III was the subject of humiliation as a result. We all remember LeBron leap-frogging over an oblivious JL Three.

 

But after last night's game, watching that same man crumble to the floor, attempt to get up only to crash back down, and then sprint after James, I am convinced that this was the more satisfying and important LeBron moment. 

Sure, the dunk induced a serious spell of the giggles when I first witnessed the feat, but it was far from the first time LeBron James has walked on the moon. This was different: This was King James sending a message—legally, mind you—that he's the biggest, baddest, and most imposing basketball player in the world. He can out-pace and out-finesse opponents if he so pleases, but he's also got enough size to bring pain to whomever he pleases, whenever he pleases. 

One Game We Didn't Watch Last Night: Minnesota Timberwolves vs. Detriot Pistons

Wolves: 91, Pistons: 80

JJ Barea netted 13 in the victory for the Wolves. Ricky Rubio did not play.

A Rebel King with a Cause

In an election year during which the incumbent uses his basketball fandom to gain "everyman" status, it's hard not to think about politics with every pass of the ball, every shot through the hoop, every board ripped down from the glass. Sports are a part of our national fabric as much as, if not more than, debates, primaries, and straw polls.

Several weeks ago, I was pointed to an article about Harrison Barnes in The Atlantic titled "Moneyballer." It was sent by a friend, arguing—incorrectly, if you ask me—against college basketball players being paid, using Barnes' self-branding strategy as an example of how colleges offer enough opportunity already. One nod to Barnes' generally infuriating self-branding decisions particularly got my goat. You've probably heard others complain about it:

Although he founded a Bible-study group in high school and paid particularly close attention when he met Barack Obama before a game aboard a U.S. aircraft carrier earlier this season, he’s reluctant to discuss either experience. “Anytime you want to get into religious or political views,” he said, choosing his words carefully, “that can instantly polarize people.” (In this he seems also to be following in the footsteps of Jordan, who, when asked why he wouldn’t endorse Harvey Gantt in a Senate race against Jesse Helms two decades ago, reportedly answered, “Republicans buy sneakers, too.”)

I railed against Barnes for days, cursed the evilness of MJ's legacy, and lamented the lack of personalized, political passion in the world of athletics—at least from the most meaningful members of that world. But a week and a half ago, a link to a photo you've probably seen by now showed up on my timeline and made me realize that, just maybe, there's been a one-man rebellion growing right under our noses.

No Regard Previews: The Good Ol' Days

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Miami Heat vs. San Antonio Spurs

About five years ago, LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers bested the bullies of the East, the Pistons, and earned themselves a spot in the finals to play against the juggernaut that was the Tim Duncan-led San Antonio Spurs. Today, LeBron James and the Miami Heat host the San Antonio Spurs, a team that sports some of the same pieces it did when they swept the the King's Cavs in convincing fashion many moons ago.

With Wade out due to an ankle injury, this Heat team is not so different than that '06-'07 Cleveland team. Yes, Bosh is an upgrade from Big Z and Coach Spo is significantly more interested in trading for Fruit Roll-Ups at lunchtime than Mike Brown ever was, but the similarities exist. Is Super Nintendo Chalmers not Boobie Gibson 2.0? Does Andy V. not possess some of the glue-guy type qualities that makes Udonis Haslem so valuable? And I like to pretend that Scott Pollard and Juwan Howard can somehow be compared.

Regardless, the point is that without Wade, LeBron is playing the role of quarterback, wide-receiver and running back once again. Back in that first finals season, LBJ averaged 27 points, nearly 7 rebounds and 6 assists per game. This campaign, some of which has been sans older-bro Dwayne, the King's numbers are even sicker: 29.5, 8.2, and 7.4 per game, respectively.

Do not get me wrong: No one is a bigger fan of the fact that LeBron went on television for an hour to tell the world that he was going to play basketball with his friends. But part of me misses the good old days when he was the Cleveland Cavaliers. Every game was the LeBron show and the deeper they got in the playoffs, the more intriguing it was to see if he could carry Erik Snow and Drew Gooden to glory.

Tonight, when the Spurs invade Miami, I'll get slight a reminder of what it was like watching the '06-'07 LeBron Jameses. And I always enjoy a good one-man band.


One Game We Probably Won't Watch Tonight (Even Though We'd Kind Of Like To): Houston Rockets vs. Detroit Pistons

We are not shy when it comes to sharing our undying love for Larry Frank. And for some odd reason, we have taken a similar liking to the concept of Kevin McHale coaching in the NBA. The motivation for the former is pretty simple and we have a solid understanding of it: He was top dog with the Nets and had relative success, is one of the biggest basketball nerds in the world, originates from New Jersey and reminds us of ourselves when we were in 6th grade (doing our best to turn a bunch of stale Fritos into a decent PB&J). The latter obsession is not as clear cut to us. We thought McHale was a decent analyst on TNT, but his hiring as the Rockets head coach freakishly fascinates and amuses us. I honestly can't figure it out why, but it's the truth and I think it probably says something about how we view the NBA. (And the simple fact may be that we view the NBA like a bunch of idiots, but that's our bull to lasso, not yours.)

This game pits some pretty dysfunctional offensive clubs against one another in what probably won't be the most entertaining game of the season. But since one of my resolutions for 2012 was to try and view situations positively, perhaps Luis Scola will drop 50 points and Larry Frank will get ejected for charging the court in the 4th quarter.

Also, we're obsessed with Scola, too, but we know why. We watched him a ton that one summer wheel and deal for Argentina and were beyond impressed. He's brimming with game from head to toe and if he did not play for the Rockets he would compete to be an All-Star every year. That and the hair. It's mostly the hair.

If You See Something, Say Something: Giraffes, Secret Gardens and Petro's Game

IYSSSS is our semi-regular Internet intelligence report, a liberal arts approach to following the NBA on the Web. E-mail us at jewsforjesusshuttlesworth@gmail.com if you've got any suggestions.

LeBron James is Not Taller Than a Giraffe: After recently purchasing a stake in the historic English football club Liverpool, LeBron James headed across the pond to check out his investment in person. This video details the highlights of the King's trip, which includes meeting Liverpool skipper Steven Gerrard and attending a Manchester United-Liverpool match. Skip ahead to the end of the spot to "Small Talk" in which LeBron is grilled by a group of English kids. Questions like, "LeBron, shouldn't your first name be James?" and "LeBron, have you always been tall?" keep the Miami Heat superstar on his toes. LBJ does confirm that he is in fact, not taller than a giraffe.

Our Favorite Canadian's Secret: Here's another neat video worth watching! This NBA.com player profile takes a peak into Steve Nash's lifestyle, specifically his work ethic, diet and fitness regime. While Thunder Dan Majerle believes Steve's success comes from his insatiable desire to be the best, Channing Frye has his own theory: He hypothesizes that Nash has a "secret garden of magical fruits and vegetables" that has kept him fit late into his 30s. I tend to agree with Frye.

Jay-Z's Value to the Brooklyn Nets: The New Jersey Nets are struggling and Jay-Z just became a new father. But as the Nets continue to prepare for their move across two rivers, the entertainment mogul won't let either of these variables affect his strong influence over almost all the decisions being made by the franchise. From providing opinions on jersey colors to weighing in on architectural design questions, it's clear that Hova is more concerned about the Nets going 0-82 than he lets on.

Johan Petro's Fascinating Story: We leave you with Johan Petro's website, http://www.johanpetro27.com. Not wanting to give away too many of the treasures this Internet goldmine contains, here's how Petro's game is described in the biography section: "When you describe the prototypical NBA center, he is not complete without superlative size, strength and athleticism. He'll fight for rebounds in the trenches, but is just as quick to burn you with a shot from 15 feet. Johan Petro possesses all these skills and more, and bears all the promise of fulfilling his vast potential." That pretty much sums up exactly how I feel about Petro's game. Wait, I'm sorry, I forgot who we're talking about.

Question of the Day

Last night's Monday Night Football contest was notable to the staff here only because it matched up the two sweetheart teams of the two best players in the NBA: LeBron and Durant. And thanks to Twitter, we found out the two gentlemen wagered on the game. Unfortunately, they didn't disclose the terms publicly. The only hint we have is one cryptic, gloating tweet from James: "I'll be expecting my package on my doorstep in the a.m @KDTrey5. Thank u sir. Nice doing business with u. Haa."

It's been bothering us all day: What the hell is in that package?

2011 No Regard Playoff Power Rankings

The 2011 NBA Playoffs are over. All of the teams and players are dead except for the Dallas Mavericks. But that doesn't mean we can't reminisce about the joy they brought us a scant two months ago. Thus, the 2011 No Regard Playoff Power Rankings.

Feel free to voice your displeasure with our rankings in the comments section, but just know our algorithm is German engineered. And you know how they do.

25. Brian Cardinal
We literally didn't know this dude existed until we saw him boxing some Miami Heat players. We're still not convinced he's not a ghost.

No Regard Daily Recap: When the Circus Comes to Town

One Game We Didn't Watch Last Night: Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks

This is slightly awkward, but we've got to own up to our actions last night. Certain members of the No Regard staff took our talents to a Phish concert last night instead of watching game one of the NBA finals. I know what your thinking, "Wow, these guys are pretty selfish and fake." Possibly, but there is good news! We are going to recap the game anyway, without having watched it. Don't worry, we've done this before. And here, we, go...

*Looking at the box score I see some typical numbers and some surprising ones. No shock that LBJ dropped 24 on 9-16 shooting, however I still have not gotten used to his supremely accurate outside shooting. The days of forcing the King out on the perimeter to try and stop him are long gone.

*Speaking of which, this is his first NBA finals victory ever. I suspect it won't be his last. Just a weird feeling I'm getting.

*It pisses me off that Bosh got to the line 12 times. I expect more from Tyson Chandler.

*The Dallas bench can feel free to join the series whenever they see fit.

*I'm loving Bibby's +/- of -2, and 0-4 from the field in 14 minutes of play. Still starting though. Keep up the good work, Mike!

*The Dirkus Circus tore a ligament on one of the fingers on his left hand. I have no idea if this will have any affect on his game whatsoever.

*Some nice highlights, the D-Wade to Bron Bron alley-oop at the end of the fourth quarter was particularly tantalizing.

*According to Andrew Abides, every time Peja misses a three he ought to be benched. I agree with this perspective. When you can't defend the worst player in the D-League, you ought to at least do your one job.

*I hate all the, "Heat are definitely going to sweep" people out there. Can we let this series play out a little bit?

In Other NBA News...

*Shaq retired via twitter. You can bet your mortgage that we'll have more coverage on the Diesel. For now, cheers to a great basketball player and an even better man.

*Lakers hired Mike Brown. Good for him, but I feel terribly for Brian Shaw. He deserves his chance. Also, is Mike Brown even a good coach? I'm not convinced.

*Kevin McHale is the newest coach of Rockets. He was an awful GM and an amazing analyst. Using math, we can assume that he'll make an average coach.

Sick LeBron, Aching for a Statue, and McHale vs. the Frank

The Miami Heat evened the Eastern Conference finals on Wednesday night with stifling defense and another impressive fourth quarter performance from LeBron James. With the series knotted at one game a piece headed back to South Beach, here's what we gathered from game two:

Talent Trumps Talent

I guess I'm late here, but I'm finally ready to take this Miami Heat team seriously. All season I've ignored the stats, even though the team was ruling all the areas that best prove post-season success, because I'm a stubborn person. They led the league in point differential—which hoop junkies know is wildly prescient in terms of predicting champions—and finished the season as the only team in the top five in both offensive and defensive efficiency. But I got hung up on what has turned out to be minutia. I thought, "Mike Miller doesn't do anything anymore except rebound and look like a surly lesbian"; or "Surely you can't expect much from a team that jumped to sign Mike Bibby and his giant headband because he was clearly an upgrade for them at point guard"; or "Jam Band Jones literally does nothing except for catch and shoot from behind the arc"; and finally "What is a Joel Anthony?"

I believed all these sorry parts, even next to Wade and LeBron, wouldn't amount to anything more than a second round exit.

But, as outrageous as this is going to sound, I forgot one important factor...

No Regard Daily Previews: Florida Rivals

The First Game We'll Be Watching Tonight: Orlando Magic vs. Miami Heat

Tonight's Florida-on-Florida NBA action has the potential to be some serious eye-candy for NBA junkies and casual fans alike. Outside of the tight Eastern conference playoff race in which the top three seeds are barely separated by a few games, Miami, a side that's been criticized for both its inability to win close games and have success against the top-tier teams in the league, has a chance to gain some confidence and silence their haters temporarily. For Orlando, it's an opportunity to continue the momentum it gained from their comeback victory over the new-look Knicks and tinker with a roster that still hasn't figured out its identity since being revamped a few months back.

All-Star Weekend: You Know We Got Skills

The Skills Challenge may be the single most divisive part of NBA All-Star Weekend. Some find it to be a riveting look at the little things that make NBA point guards great. Others think it is incredibly boring, especially when compared to fan favorites like the Dunk Contest and the 3-Point Shootout. We here at No Regard think it's a pretty good watch, but we agree that the NBA could do something to spice it up. Namely, add to the course these non-basketball skills there we're modestly proposing. You know, stuff to break up the tedium that folks who aren't junkies might find in dribbling and passing accuracy and whatnot. Below, we've listed five skills we think should be added to this year's Challenge (aka the Taco Bell All-Star 2011 Skills Challenge) immediately, as well as the NBA players—whether point guards or not—who would really own that skill.

First up: Burritos.