Everything Life Has to Offer, Including the Jumbotron

Sometimes we go to a basketball game and nothing happens. Players set picks, coaches scribble lines on a white board and fans crush concessions. Then there's the once-in-a-hundred-years game where just about every emotion one experiences in life seeps through the cracks of an arena and overwhelms us. It  leaves us feeling strange, confused, ecstatic, moved, hopeful, emotional, depressed, perplexed, angry, embarrassed, amazed, drained, grateful, delighted and awkwardly dancing for thousands to see. That was my afternoon on a chilly Sunday in Boston.

No Regard Previews: Xs and Os

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Boston Celtics vs. New York Knicks

The last time these two basketball outfits met, the ball game ended in a chaotic mess. Carmelo Anthony alerted the NYPD and whoever else would listen that a citywide manhunt of Kevin Garnett must ensue. So tonight, one can only imagine that the majority of TNT's coverage will center around these two competitive gents. Will they shake hands? Will they fight? Will they kiss!?

But since we pride ourselves on ignoring all that silly stuff, instead focusing only on round ball tactics and nothing else here at No Regard I'll say this: Tonight's professional basketball bonanza presents a very serious contrast in basketball playing styles. 

The Knicks (a Manhattan-based, paid basketball squad) rely heavily on shots from far away that count for three points, three-pointers if you will, as well as chucked-up bombs from New Jersey native J.R. Smith. Smith may or may not close his eyes before he wings the orange sphere towards the cylinder. They also give opponents a heavy dose of Brooklyn-born Carmelo from Redhook, whose ability to score anywhere on the floor is the bee's knees. The Knickerbocker's are known to sprinkle in some high screen-and-rolls, too, arguably the most basic play in all of basketball plays.

Here's how it works: One player, usually a point-guard, (but in the modern NBA anything goes) bounces a ball into the floor while he waits for a bigger guy to get in the way of a guy wearing a different color tank top whose job it is to try and stop him from doing great stuff. Then, the player still pounding the leather thing into the court either drives hard to the rack, hoping to score, or passes the rock (slang for basketball) to the guy who was getting in the way a second ago. This guy is now headed to the hole himself. Complicated, but true.

The Celtics (a Boston-based, paid basketball group of men) put a strong emphasis on defensive stops, so that they can own the transition game. They also prefer mid-range jump shots preceded by penetration from their two best wing players, Rajon Rondo and Paul Pierce. Sometimes, this works, but other times the Celtics lack of offensive diversity leads them to get smoked by talentless hacks like Larry Frank's Pistons (a Detroit-based basketball franchise).

Whatever happens tonight, this much we know for certain: Grown men will box each other out. Millions will watch while consuming alcohol. Lord knows I'll have a pinot noir or two. 

One Game We Won't Watch Tonight: Orlando Magic vs. Toronto Raptors

Not to brag, but Andrew and I went to the Raptors-Nets game the other day in Brooklyn at Barclays Center (don't say the "The," they don't like it when you say "The Barclays Center"). It was the best day of our lives. I learned that Landry Fields makes a living playing guard for the Raptors now. Complicated, but true.

Anyway, nobody loves Big Baby Davis more than me, but I'll be watching the All-Star reserve announcements instead of taking this one in. So sue me if I would rather listen to Charles breakdown who got snubbed or whatever. It's a free country. Obama told me two days ago. 

NBA Things I'm Thankful For

Last night I attended the Celtics 12-point loss to the Spurs. I used to live in Boston and went to Cs games all the time during the 2009-10 season (cheaper cost of living = more disposable income!), and being back at the TD Garden with one of my best friends from my time living there just felt like home. As such, I got the corny idea to make a list of NBA things I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving, both about the game last night and the NBA in general. Enjoy!

No Regard Previews: Alliteration

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Brooklyn Nets vs. Boston Celtics

No doubt beaming about their first opportunity to meet the BrooklyKnight in person, Doc Rivers and the gang head to what is affectionately known as "BK" tonight for an Atlantic Conference showdown with the Nets (formerly of New Jersey, FYI). The dubious storyline for tonight's basketball match is the health of the ever-spectacular, Rajon Rondo. If he suits up, fans will be treated to a game of point-guard chess between two of the world's best round-ball quarterbacks. If Rondo is in formal wear on the bench, then Deron Williams and Joe Johnson should be able to "run this town tonight." That's a Jay-Z lyric, FYI. He's part owner of the Nets, FYI.

Either way, Rondo will likely make the trip, look his best and beam outwardly when he accepts an autograph from the world's most important mascot, the BrooklyKnight.

Both Brooklyn and Boston are coming off victories in their previous basketball contests. The Cs put the ball in the hoop more frequently than the Jazz last night while the Nets did the same against the Cavaliers a few evenings ago.

Some other food for thought: Who will guard Paul Pierce? While Joe Johnson definitely has the size, one has to wonder if he's a skilled enough marksman (yeah, that word makes sense for a defender also) to slow down the always clever, never predictable Pierce. Word around the grapevine is that rebounds are important too, in winning games, so it should be tantalizing to watch and see if KG can slow down the absolute rebounding monster that is Kris Humphries. Even your little sister who hates sports knows that Boston doesn't have to worry about Brook Lopez on the glass. Rumor around the water-cooler is that he's literally allergic to rebounds.

One Game We Won't Watch Tonight: San Antonio Spurs vs. New York Knicks

Sorry but I'm not looking to party like it's 1999 tonight. Allan Houston ain't walking through that door. He's watching the game with a tie on from a luxury box.

No Regard Recap: Four More Years!

One Team We Haven't Watched This Year: Boston Celtics

Record: 2-2

I refuse to bore you with the details of why I haven't been able to watch my favorite team, the Boston Celtics, this year. You've got the Internet: You're familiar with weather, democracy and whatever other dumb excuse I have for not keeping up with Rajon and the gang.

To make up for it, here's a summary of their season so far. I might not have watched the games, but like you, I've got the Internet and I've got some functioning eyeballs. 

No Regard Presidential Previews: Boston Celtics (George Washington)

Oh the season. Oh the season! Election or NBA, both are upon us. We're getting into the spirit by bringing you our season previews (with a little help from the presidents). One per day for the next 30 days—which will bring us to the Day of Reckoning. So please join us on the campaign trail as we shake hands, kiss babies and sink jumpers.

"An army of asses led by a lion is vastly superior to an army of lions led by an ass." - George Washington

It is difficult to imagine what it would have been like to be one of Washington's soldiers the morning orders were given that the Delaware River was to be forged. 

"Get your mittens on and load up that musket, Washington says we're sneaking into Trenton to surprise the Brits. Apparently, they're all sleeping.

"Come again, bro?" 

Put yourself in their shoes: Instead of heading home to your wife and a deliciously cooked Christmas ham, you now have to pack three days worth of food, wear two pairs of socks and cross a frigid river, avoiding huge chunks of ice in a crappy wooden rowboat along the way. Oh yeah, you probably do not know how to swim and arm floaties have not hit the shelves of Toys 'R' Us yet. 

You would have to feel pretty strongly about General Washington to be willing to to go ahead with such a wacky move. 

That blind faith and belief in leadership is not so different than the sort of compassion and trust that the players on the Celtics feel for their fiery leader, Doc Rivers. Rivers has such a hold over this group that he got KG to play three more years, morphed a once very raw Rondo into one of the league's most game-changing players, convinced Jason Terry to join the corps and put together a group that bloggers and pundits suggest, each preseason, should be butchered by their opponents. 

But, each year, they're not, just like Washington's upstart soldiers were not ravaged by the Redcoats.  Although I cannot be sure, (I am not on the Celtics, unfortunately) I am convinced that one of the main reasons this group loves Rivers so much is because, like them, Rivers was a player—he knows what it is like to live the life of an NBA baller. And although I cannot be sure (I was not alive during Washington's presidency, fortunately) I imagine one of the main reasons Washington was such a popular president was because he was a soldier and general before taking office.

Just as there are multiple ways to skin a cat, there are many different methods to leading. The most important tool for a coach, general or president, though, is knowing that the group of individuals you are in charge of will do anything you feel necessary. Even if it means possibly drowning and becoming a watery corpse while trying to get to Trenton via a big river. Or in the case of this years Celtics, being assured that your players will get on board with a potential starting five that might include Darko, which is perhaps Rivers' most impressive accomplishment yet.   

Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers

Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Drowzee

Headline we’ll be most sick of reading: "Injuries Prevent Championship Aspirations For Aging Celtics"

Headline we’re most looking forward to: "Celtics Force a Game Seven With Miami in Eastern Conference Finals"

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "Sorry, but I have to let Ray in also, guys. I mean, did you see He Got Game?  Dude can act."

No Regard Recaps: Welcome Reminder

One Game We Watched Last Night: Miami Heat vs. Boston Celtics

Ten years ago yesterday, the U.S. Men’s National Soccer team completed one of its biggest and most epic victories of all time, a 3-2 nail-bitter in the World Cup over Portugal. It had everything—drama, brilliance, grittiness and, most importantly, it gave the fans hope. Hope that a team nobody expected to do anything ever on the big stage could hang with some of the top footballing nations. I watched that match, alone by myself, at 5:00 am. You better believe the silent fist-pumps and muted fuck yeahs were abundant.

Fast-forward exactly 10 years later to yesterday’s epic Boston Celtics win. While the two teams are not necessarily similar in their makeup (Celtics are grizzled vets while that USMNT outfit sported two up-and-comers named Landon Donovan and DeMarcus Beasely) the games certainly had a similar feel for me.

For starters, due to work, I was forced to watch yesterday’s game alone on the DVR, late into the wee hours of the morning. Yes, last night’s game was by accompanied by something I could not swing as a 16-year-old—two glasses of vodka (isn’t growing up great!)—but you better believe the evening was once again filled with silent fist-pumps and muted fuck yeahs.

My favorite play—Rondo’s tip-pass rebound to Mickael Peaches for an ice-cold, momentum-shifting trey—encouraged flashbacks of Brian McBride’s gutsy, game-winning, diving header. Here are two guys, with no regard for their own human life, sacrificing their bodies for the name on the front of their shirt.

We all become jaded when we get older—in terms of just about anything, really, but particularly as far as sports go. I mean, how many NBA games have we all watched over the years? How many soccer games have I wasted my time freaking out over? Here we go, another pick-and-roll, another corner kick. Every once in a while though, we are reminded why we care so much about people we have never met playing a silly game.

That reminder: hope. Hope that a group everyone cast off as too old, injured, slow and tired can still hang with the Heatles. Hope that another title is still possible. And hope that teams playing as teams are still critical in a star-driven league.

Last night’s game pumped me so full of hope I could barely sleep. The Celtics can do this again, as a unit, like it should be. This win was a fun as that soccer game was 10 years ago.

Thank you, sports.

No Regard Previews: Brain Burner

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Miami Heat vs. Boston Celtics

After one disappointing and three amazing games, the Miami Heat host the Boston Celtics tonight in what has the potential to be a historic battle. An historic, even, if that's how you choose to speak. Then again, as my partner-in-crime, Andrew Abides, noted last night during a conversation we had over the Internet, it could potentially fall flat.

“I have no idea what to expect out of this series anymore,” he typed. Mr. Abides’ astute observation is well-noted. So far, this series has given us just about everything. And with a guaranteed two, potentially three more games, just about anything could happen.

NBA Middle Names: Rajon Rondo

We at No Regard spend a lot of time in our NBA knitting circles trying to figure out the human side of these players. Whether it's musing about their commutes to work, how much "Call of Duty" they play, or what their favorite snack food is, we like to remind ourselves that NBA players are nothing more than young men with enviable jobs. What better way to humanize our heroes than look up their middle names?

Rajon Pierre Rondo

No Regard Previews: Think Happy Thoughts

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Miami Heat vs. Boston Celtics

Sure, the Heat thoroughly dominated the Celtics in game one. LeBron looked like the best basketball player of all time (which he is). And Ray Allen missing free throws on the reg is a definite sign that the world is indeed coming to an end in 2012. All these things are true, I get it. 

But you know what else is true? Kevin Garnett is back and better than ever. You better believe he has this on his mind headed into tonight:



So you can have your D-Wades, Mike Millers, Ronny Turiafs, Shane Battiers, Super Nintendo Chalmerses, and any other clown that puts on a tank top that says "Heat" on the front of it, Miami fans. I will take my chances with an angry KG, injured Walter Ray Allen, tired Paul Pierce, inconsistent Rondo, and a Goron of a head coach in Doc Rivers.

Celtics 100, Heat 98. You heard it here first folks. 

Another Game We Will Watch Tonight: USA vs. Brazil

You can have your worldwide superstar named Neymar, Brazil. I will take my deadly, bald center-midfielder Michael Bradley any day.

USA 3, Brazil 1. 

Fan optimism and irrationality for life, folks.

No Regard Recaps: Ain't Over 'Til It Ain't Over

One Game We Watched Last Night: Atlanta Hawks vs. Boston Celtics

Hawks: 87, Celtics: 86

Al Horford and his freshly healed pectoral muscle is starting to become a real thorn in the side of the Boston Celtics. Horford's emotional return is more than just fluff, in fact, as it was his big body that prevented Rondo from getting up a potential game-winning shot on the final play.

Speaking of Rondo, I love that he shoots threes now. You know who else made a three last night? Kevin Garnett!
 
                  

You know who can't shoot threes? Ryan Hollins. But he can provide some serious energy minutes off the bench. Boy, that guy loves being out there on the basketball court in a Celtics uniform.

What else, what else? Oh yeah, how come Walter Ray Allen misses foul shots now? Not okay.

One Game We Didn't Watch Last Night: Orlando Magic vs. Indiana Pacers

Magic: 87, Pacers: 105

This was probably Stan Van's last game as head coach of the Orlando Magic. Or it wasn't, we'll never know. So even though we didn't watch, we did make sure to tune into his post-game presser because that's where SVG shines magnificent. He didn't disappoint. As one reporter introduced the premise that this past season was tough for Van Gundy both on and off the court, SVG interrupted. He said that wasn't true, that the past year has been good for him off the court because his wife likes him most of the time.

Goodnight Stan.

No Regard Recaps: Tebow Time!

One Game We Watched Last Night: Atlanta Hawks vs. Boston Celtics

Celtics: 87 Hawks: 80

This victory proved the perfect example of how quickly momentum can shift in an NBA playoff serious. (This is a new thing we're trying: Calling a hotly contested, gravely important series a "serious." Let us know if you like/don't it!) Prior to tip, the Cs were down and out, missing Rondo, Ray Ray, and facing a potential 2-0 deficit headed back to New England. Now, thanks to tenacious defense and a vintage Paul Pierce performance, the Green and White are primed to take down the Hawks in a short series. 

Avery Bradley continued his giant strides as a professional by providing stellar ball pressure on Jeffrey Demarco, particularly in the fourth quarter. When needed most, he competently handled the offense and found open shooters. As for The Truth, well it's clear that Boston's all-time leading scorer was on a mission—almost as if to say, "I used to win playoff series without any teammates before, you know?"  Even more importantly, he put a stamp on the game after wetting some clutch fourth quarter buckets and Tebowing. This celebration was definitely the most critical decision he's made all season.

Larry Drew and court general J. Demarco will look to rally the troops in the coming days before they head north for game three. They need to find a way to more consistently unlock Beantown's stifling defense. They also might want to consider Tebowing themselves so we can really heat this thing up. Just sayin'. 

One Game We Didn't Watch Last Night: Chicago Bulls vs. Philadelphia 76ers

Bulls: 92 Sixers: 109

It's hard to stomach this series with D-Rose sidelined by a horrible knee injury. I definitely watched the first half, though, so while Chicago may struggle to score in later rounds without last season's MVP, they should be fine to get past Philly, right? I mean, I did not catch the second half, but surely their huge lead was enough to silence the haters and critics who suggest the Bulls have no shot at a title without Rose, right? They had a decent record in the regular season when he was MIA! They are built on crashing the boards and defending, Rose won't be missed here! 

Sorry? Hmm? Oh really?

Sigh... this is awkward now.

A Smart Man Talks About Rajon Rondo

My Dad has been a lifetime Celtics fan. When I was a kid, he often told me about one of his favorite plays and calls ever, the famous "Havilcek stole the Ball!". He loved watching Bird, the Chief and McHale dominate the NBA. He knows Celtic basketball. So when he tells me his opinions on the current outfit, specifically Rondo, via email on a Friday night, I take the man's words seriously. Here's the unabridged email he sent me, without warning, in response to the trade rumors surrounding Rondo. Enjoy.

No Regard Recap: We Did It!

One Game We Watched Last Night: Boston Celtics vs. Orlando Magic

Celtics: 87, Magic: 56

In previewing this game, I practically dropped to my hands and knees and begged the Boston Celtics to create a video tribute honoring Big Baby's time as a Celtic. My favorite team's video department came through! The video was short, but it is the best video of all time.



The game itself was strange. The Cs were without established film actor Ray Allen and established commercial actor Rajon Rondo. Seemingly undermanned, the Celtics entrusted their point and shooting guard duties to Avery Bradley and Sasha Pavlovic respectively. They did not disappoint. Neither did Brandon "Big-Mouth Billy" Bass or Paul Pierce, who each dropped 19 in the victory. Pierce was as fit as he has been all season, playing the role of both facilitator and scorer.

Orlando's offensive was, simply stated, completely inept and only scored a scant 56 points. In his return, Big Baby shot 2-9 from the field, but was able to nab a respectable 11 rebounds. As a team, the Magic shot 26% from the field and could only manage 20 second half points. It was an ugly affair.

The story of the night, though, was of course the video tribute. It significantly over-shadowed the game. It was much celebrated by Glen Davis, the Magic (despite an abysmal performance), the Celtics and the entire NBA community.

One Game We Did Not Watch Last Night: Dallas Mavericks vs. Phoenix Suns

Mavs: 93, Suns: 87

#FREESTEVENASH!

Sad, Angry, and Clowns Everywhere

[Editor's Note: Even though Pete is a founding member of and almost-daily contributor to this site, the rest of us sometimes see the need—both online and in public—to reel him in. He's a passionate gentleman, and sometimes his fiery disposition can get the best of him. However, on days following debilitating losses by his beloved Celtics, he's got free reign to speak his mind. But just remember, the views of Peter do not necessarily reflect the views of No Regard. Except all the stuff about Bosh being a clown; we're all on the same page there.]

Kazaam to the Rescue

Like George Washington (or Abe Lincoln?), I cannot tell a lie: I'm extremely down right now about my Celtics. After two bad losses at the hands of LeBron, Wade and Jackass Jones, my hopes are wearing thin. Yet, there's one X-factor that leaves me with a strange sense of confidence that Beantown can turn things around, with the series shifting to Massachusetts. Where does my audacious sense of belief come from? Squarely on the shoulder's of the league's oldest, fattest and, at one point, most dominate player.

Celtics-Heat Game 1: Let's Get Physical, Physical

Yesterday's game one matchup in the Eastern semis between Boston and Miami presented what is likely to be the case for seven games: chippy basketball between two teams that so clearly hate each other, it's beyond Romeo and Juliet shit. Here are some (increasingly belligerent) thoughts that I jotted down as I watched in anguish, sipping Bud Light Wheats (or whatever they're called; good though, very good beer) and yelling at my television.

NBA Middle Names: Troy Murphy

We at No Regard spend a lot of time in our NBA knitting circles trying to figure out the human side of these players. Whether it's musing about their commutes to work, how much "Call of Duty" they play, or what their favorite snack food is, we like to remind ourselves that NBA players are nothing more than young men with enviable jobs. What better way to humanize our heroes than look up their middle names?

 

Troy Brandon Murphy

No Regard Daily Previews: Goin' Streaking!

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight:
New York Knicks vs. Boston Celtics


Something's gotta give tonight. And no, I'm not going to be watching the 2003 movie starring Jack Nicholson, Diane Keaton, and Keanu Reeves in which, according to IMDB, "A swinger on the cusp of being a senior citizen with a taste for younger women falls in love with an accomplished woman closer to his age." I'm talking about streaks, baby, either Boston's (ten straight wins) or New York's (eight straight wins). Tonight's epic Eastern Conference clash is perhaps the first Knicks-Celtics game I've witnessed that's had any significance. Both teams are good, finally. As a huge fan of the New York/Boston rivalry, I couldn't be happier. The NBA's version of this northeastern rivalry is exciting! On that note...

No Regard Daily Previews: Three's Company!

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Dallas Mavericks Vs. New Jersey Nets

This matchup is deceptively interesting despite the chasm-like discrepancy in wins and losses between these two teams. Here are some of the story lines that make tonight's featured game worth checking out: