NBA Things I'm Thankful For

Last night I attended the Celtics 12-point loss to the Spurs. I used to live in Boston and went to Cs games all the time during the 2009-10 season (cheaper cost of living = more disposable income!), and being back at the TD Garden with one of my best friends from my time living there just felt like home. As such, I got the corny idea to make a list of NBA things I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving, both about the game last night and the NBA in general. Enjoy!

No Regard Presidential Previews: Sacramento Kings (Franklin Pierce)

Oh the season. Oh the season! Election or NBA, both are upon us. We're getting into the spirit by bringing you our season previews (with a little help from the presidents). One per day for the next 30 days—which will bring us to the Day of Reckoning. So please join us on the campaign trail as we shake hands, kiss babies and sink jumpers.

“Frequently the more trifling the topic, the more animated and protracted the discussion.” - Franklin Pierce

To say Franklin Pierce was a memorable, celebrated president would be to tell a complete lie. Despite winning the 1852 election in a landslide, Pierce went on to become one of history's least popular and most ineffective presidents and was not nominated by his own party for a second term. By badly mishandling the Kansas-Nebraska Act and admitting Kansas to the United States as a slave state, Pierce lost support of his own party and became the first president to hire a full-time bodyguard. Pierce, a New Hampshire native, had been one of the country's most successful lawyers before taking office, but tarnished his name and legacy beyond repair.

The Sacramento Kings had their moments in the sun. The days of the 6th Man rocking Arco Arena feel so long ago now, but in the early 2000s, the Kings were a force to be reckoned with, led by Chris Webber, Peja Stojakovic, Vlade Divac and No Regard's own Mike Bibby. Then Peja got traded for Ron Artest, Webber was dealt for 30 cents on the dollar and the Maloof brothers started hemorrhaging cash. The Kings have been a lottery team with one foot out the door ever since.

Currently, the three highest paid players on the Kings, in order, are John Salmons, Marcus Thornton and Francisco Garcia. Tyreke Evans, their former Rookie of the Year (because Blake Griffin was injured), appears to be one of the worst teammates in basketball, and his scoring and rebounding numbers have declined every year since he became a pro. The next year's pick, DeMarcus Cousins, is insanely talented, but may also be an insane person. Cousins has the potential to be one of the best big men in the game, but has already gotten one coach fired by refusing to travel with the team until Paul Westphal was relieved of his duties. Westphal was likely just plain relieved. Second year point guard Isaiah Thomas gives the Kings a modicum of hope, despite being hilariously booed at Madison Square Garden because of the curse of being named Isaiah Thomas. Other players on this team include Chuck Hayes, Aaron Brooks and former Basketball-Tebow and current forgotten bench guy Jimmer Fredette. That isn't good.

The Kings are going nowhere fast. Geographically, yes, but they are certain to remain in the lottery. The 6th Man is gone forever and their arena is named after a bracelet designed to make you balance better or something. For a long stretch this summer, the merchandise link on the team website led to an error page. You can't make this stuff up.

At the end of the Pierce presidency, the landslide election that brought him into office must have felt so long ago, just as the shadows of Peja and Webber hang over the Purple and Black in their remaining days in California's capital city. It was a good run, for a little while.

Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers

Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Farfetch'd

Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Maloofs Back Out of Another Stadium Deal"

Headline we're most looking forward to: "Kings Offer 'Buy One Seat, Get Entire Section Free' Ticket Deal, Tens of Fans Flock to Arena"

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "You guys had some good times, right? Right?"

Bibby's World: Too Much Mustard

I don't know what's going on anymore. For the first time in my life, I feel too important. I can't buy a car without someone calling out my name or screaming, "GREAT JOB" or "YOU SUCK" or some combination of the two. Every time I touch the rock in a game, I feel the whole world watching me, staring at me like I'm some performer on The Voice. Each time I release for a three, a small part of me hopes that it won't go in so that LeBron won't pass me the ball next time, so that Wade won't mention my name in the next huddle, and so that Bosh won't touch my head on the way to the locker room.

Bibby's World: There is No 'I' in 'One Percent'

"Offensively, the ball is in our hands 99 percent of the time and Mike Bibby has it one percent right now." - Dwyane Wade

I couldn't have said it better myself. The Big Four have arrived. 

I wonder how heavy the ring is going to be on my finger? 

Bibby's World: I Made It

Don't know how we locked this down, but we'd like to introduce you to No Regard's newest blogging sensation... Mike Bibby! He'll be checking in whenever he can, just to remind us: It's Bibby's World, we just live in it!

I did it. I made it. I won. I won all the prizes. The Miami Heat read my letter to them and have signed me as their starting PG!!! By this time next year, I'm going to have a big, fat ring on my finger. But that's not even the best part. The best part is that I get to coast to the championship with my new best friends, Dwyane LeBosh (That's what I call them. They think it's awesome.).

So what have I done in Miami so far?

Bibby's World: Traded

Don't know how we locked this down, but we'd like to introduce you to No Regard's newest blogging sensation... Mike Bibby! He'll be checking in whenever he can, just to remind us: It's Bibby's World, we just live in it!

So last night I'm running my typical 9PM Wednesday routine (playing Ms. PacMan and drinking red wine), when I see something ridiculous on the ESPN ticker: "Mike Bibby traded to Wizards." Now obviously I think it's a joke, because the last time my ESPN ticker said anything about me, it was, 'Mike Bibby traded to Lakers for a stack of Magic Cards', which just turned out to be a prank that Coach Mike was pulling on me. After checking on Twitter, it appeared that the trade was legit. "I'm going to the Wizards," I yell to my wife. "Mike," she says, "there's wine all over your lips." Sure enough, there was.

The White House

Instead of talking about what it means to be on that team, because we all know that's the boring stuff, I'm going to list some of the things that I'm looking forward to doing in our nation's capital:

Bibby's World: Funsurance

Don't know how we locked this down, but we'd like to introduce you to No Regard's newest blogging sensation... Mike Bibby! He'll be checking in whenever he can, just to remind us: It's Bibby's World, we just live in it!

Hey guys, it's me again. Today we're going to talk about having a good time, and what you can do when you're not. Last Monday, after losing to the Orlando Magic by four (Not my fault. I scored seven points.), my teammates and I wanted to go out. Since we were in Orlando, I thought it made sense to suggest Disney World. But because my teammates are totally predictable, they suggested clubs. "Wow," I said, "Clubs AGAIN? We just did that in Phoenix!" But there was no stopping them, especially Etan Thomas, who always has to be the life of the party.

Bibby's World: MVP

Don't know how we locked this down, but we'd like to introduce you to No Regard's newest blogging sensation... Mike Bibby! He'll be checking in whenever he can, just to remind us: It's Bibby's World, we just live in it!

THAT'S RIGHT! It's ALL true! Everything you're hearing. Every last word of it:

Mike Bibby is on FIRE this season. 

PPG: 13.5

STL: .5

AST: 3.8

REB: 1.3

3PM: 2.3

FG%: 56%

Stats don't lie. Neither does Ball. But that's apparently a different website. 

Anyhow, to those of you who are wondering what this all means, keep reading.

To those of you who don't care, why don't you go watch The Event or something, because basketball is clearly not for you.

Bibby's World/Team Dreamin' 2011: Atlanta Hawks

At No Regard, we love basketball. We love the spectacle and strategy of the game, but sometimes the league's lack of imagination confounds and disappoints us. Call us optimists, visionaries, or kids who watched too much Space Jam, but we have ideas. Damn are we gonna share 'em. In this particular instance... Mike Bibby will be sharing his ideas for making the Atlanta Hawks the perfect team going into the 2011 season.

Alright, let's talk. Atlanta Hawks 2011. Eastern Conference Champions. Finals Champions. Rings all around.

You've got the questions; I've got the answers.

How are we going to pull it off? With one simple motto:

Bibby's World: Being A Man

Don't know how we locked this down, but we'd like to introduce you to No Regard's newest blogging sensation... Mike Bibby! He'll be checking in whenever he can, just to remind us: It's Bibby's World, we just live in it!

Hey everyone!

I know it's been (approx.) two million years since I last posted something. I'm really sorry about that. In the interest of full-disclosure, you should know that it's because I'm big into Labor Day. I actually treat it more like Labor Month than Labor Day - a full month reserved for kicking back and not going to work or school. My kids love it more than anything, not having to go to the first couple weeks of class. (Secret: Kids learn less in the first month of school than in any other month, so you might as well use September to hang out with them.) Which brings me to the point of this post: Manliness.

Bibby's World: Pilates & Social Norms

Don't know how we locked this down, but we'd like to introduce you to No Regard's newest blogging sensation... Mike Bibby! He'll be checking in whenever he can, just to remind us: It's Bibby's World, we just live in it!

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Hey all,

I know it's been awhile since I last took a swim in the blogosphere, but I'm back, and I have news: I've gotten really into Pilates.

And now you're laughing.  You're laughing because you just did a google image search of Pilates and found it humorous that I'd participate in something so 'female-centric'. Well that's disgusting. It's disgusting that people can be so close-minded, so status quo, so judgmental. Yeah, I'm talking to you. Take off your sheepskin coat, cause it looks awful on you, and get ready to find out how it feels to be an individual again...

Bibby's World: I Accidentally Ate Cat Food

Don't know how we locked this down, but we'd like to introduce you to No Regard's newest blogging sensation... Mike Bibby! He'll be checking in whenever he can, just to remind us: It's Bibby's World, we just live in it!

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So, I accidentally ate cat food.

Here's what happened...

Bibby's World: Bali Hoo!

Don't know how we locked this down, but we'd like to introduce you to No Regard's newest blogging sensation... Mike Bibby! He'll be checking in whenever he can, just to remind us: It's Bibby's World, we just live in it!

Aloha, everyone!

Guess what? I'm on the other side of the planet! That's right, I'm on my summer vacation in Bali. So far there have been a lot of big surprises, the biggest of which has been my discovery that this place is in Indonesia NOT India! Oh well... Still good. I'm currently writing this post at 7:30am in my big bed, which is covered by a giant white canopy sheet (the kind that royalty have in fairy tales) - it's something I've wanted to try since college, and it is so what it's cracked up to be. Anyway, onto the adventure...

Bibby's World: Is Rain Sexy?

Don't know how we locked this down, but we'd like to introduce you to No Regard's newest blogging sensation... Mike Bibby! He'll be checking in whenever he can, just to remind us: It's Bibby's World, we just live in it! 

Recently, many of my fans have been asking me about my thoughts on rain's romantic potency, so I thought I'd write a post about it. It's an interesting subject that I can shed absolutely no scientific light on, but I will tackle it with the best of my abilities...

Bibby's World: The Case for Bibby

Don't know how we locked this down, but we'd like to introduce you to No Regard's newest blogging sensation... Mike Bibby! He'll be checking in whenever he can, just to remind us: It's Bibby's World, we just live in it!

Dear Miami,

I heard you need a Point Guard. I heard you don't have much money after signing those three other guys. I heard you've got beaches down there. But did YOU hear about Mike Bibby?

Bibby's World: Breaking News!!!

Don't know how we locked this down, but we'd like to introduce you to No Regard's newest blogging sensation... Mike Bibby! He'll be checking in whenever he can, just to remind us: It's Bibby's World, we just live in it!

Hey all--

So I know there's been a lot of buzz this week about a whole bunch of stuff, and I promise you I will get to all of it in due time. But before I go yabbering (sp?) off about the hot topics, I would like to congratulate the sandwich makers at Wichcraft on successfully surprising the heck out of me. Who would've thought a company with such a gimmicky name could make such a devilishly good 'wich (see, they've got me doing it too!)?

Okay, now for what everyone is waiting for...

Bibby's World: Period Pieces

Don't know how we locked this down, but we'd like to introduce you to No Regard's newest blogging sensation... Mike Bibby! He'll be checking in whenever he can, just to remind us: It's Bibby's World, we just live in it!

Today, I woke up with nothing to do. It's been one of those days where I actually had time to floss, and 'listening to music' was a solitary activity I engaged in for over an hour. So, I'm sure you'll understand when I say that I watched the unrated version of the teen road trip, sex-romp comedy Sex Drive and the 19th Century romantic drama Bright Star in a back-to-back double-feature from the comfort of my king size bed. Which brings me to this picture:

Bibby's World: A Cool Thing

As a huge fan of computers and the movie Minority Report, I find this video to be something out of my own personal fantasy. But what does this have to do with Basketball or friendship? Simple:

Life > Friendship > Basketball

This Machine will change Life.

Machine > Life; therefore,

Machine > Friendship + Basketball

People are always saying, "Who knows what the future holds?" I'll tell you: It's me playing Sega Genesis emulators with motion sensor gloves on.

Bibby's World: In Regards to Being Touched

Don't know how we locked this down, but we'd like to introduce you to No Regard's newest blogging sensation... Mike Bibby! He'll be checking in whenever he can, just to remind us: It's Bibby's World, we just live in it!

Today, I would like to discuss the very serious topic of personal space. By now, I'm sure many of you have seen this video that involves the mistreatment of my personal space:

A lot of my fans have asked me, "Mike, what is your problem? Are you homophobic? Do you hate Josh Smith? Do you have a shoulder problem? Is the back of your head as soft as that of a baby?" My initial response is usually, "Ha Ha Ha." As in SARCASM.

But I'm here to put all the speculation to rest.

My problem isn't with male-on-male physical contact. Heck, me and Coach's backyard Airsoft battles usually turn into heated wrestling matches in the tall grass by day's end. And I'll be the first one to say that you're not friends with someone unless you're comfortable with being touched by them. So that's not my problem.

My problem is with rubbing. I don't like being rubbed. I didn't like being rubbed as a baby, I didn't like being rubbed in summer camp, and I certainly don't like being rubbed by Josh Smith and that god forsaken Zaza Pachulia.

So to all you incredible fans out there who got the wrong idea:

Relax - I don't think that Josh is gay or that being gay is wrong. I just think that rubbing is gay.

Bibby's World: The Best Thing Ever by Mike Bibby

Don't know how we locked this down, but we'd like to introduce you to No Regard's newest blogging sensation... Mike Bibby! He'll be checking in whenever he can, just to remind us: It's Bibby's World, we just live in it!





Hey Internet World! It's me, Mike Bibby, making my very first blog entry!

To first address the 500 lb gorilla in the room, I would like to say that getting swept by the Orlando Magic in Round 2 of the playoffs was unfortunate. Not so much in the way of me personally wanting to win the Championship, but the loss has been quite tough on my teammates, so that's no fun. Actually, to be quite honest, I was getting kind of tired of all the games. In my opinion, each game of the playoffs should have a different variation on the sport. So, like, Game 1 is just normal basketball BUT Game 2 is like a round of Horse or Around The World or even Bowling or whatever. If that were the case, I think it'd be a lot less boring. But people are afraid of change, so what's the point in even getting heated about it.

Anyway, since the 'ousting' of my team, as the news media likes to call it, I've had a lot of free time on my hands. Not only that, but since the laying off of our coach Mike Woodson, he and I have had the chance to spend more time together as friends. He's a guy that I've wanted to hang out with for some time now, and let me just say, it's been sensational. Since our game 4 defeat, we've been on a week-long bender of quality time: drinking mojitos in our pajamas, frisbee scrimmages, and playing the Starcraft 2 Beta for literally 16 hours straight. We've let absolutely nothing get in the way of our happiness and have found wonder and amazement in even the smallest of places. Which brings me to the point of this post: The New Dominos Pizza Recipe!



Wow!

To bring back what I said before about people being afraid of change, I would like to say to those people, "GET OVER IT!" Between The New Dominos Pizza Recipe, touch screen phones and Barack Obama, I think we've proven that change is good! A garlic-herb seasoning, mozzarella with a hint of provolone, and a bolder tomato sauce with a red pepper kick?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Coach and I have eaten, like, a billion of these things in the past 6 days alone. They go great with EVERYTHING, from fishing to just hanging out on a Saturday morning to Ryan Reynolds movie marathons (Van Wilder + X-Men Origins: Wolverine + Smokin' Aces BACK TO BACK TO BACK! I dare you to beat that!).


Excellent.

I know some of you are thinking to yourselves, "Mike, are you crazy? It's just pizza!" But I'm not crazy. I'm passionate about a lot of things in my life (break dancing movies, Mr. Pibb, my Zune - THEY'RE BETTER THAN IPODS, PEOPLE!!!, castles, pre-washed jeans, etc.) but the thing that takes the number one spot for me is pizza, and Dominos has found a way to make that thing absolutely perfect. It's not just better, it's PERFECT. Don't take my word for it; try it for yourself! Oh, and uh... You're welcome, World!

I leave you folks with this saying I just came up with:

If you can't enjoy the little things, then there's something wrong with your big picture. Don't be afraid to dream big. But just remember, your dreams will come true if they are small enough!

- Mike

And now, the funniest thing I've ever seen:

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