Bibby's World: The Case for Bibby

Don't know how we locked this down, but we'd like to introduce you to No Regard's newest blogging sensation... Mike Bibby! He'll be checking in whenever he can, just to remind us: It's Bibby's World, we just live in it!

Dear Miami,

I heard you need a Point Guard. I heard you don't have much money after signing those three other guys. I heard you've got beaches down there. But did YOU hear about Mike Bibby?

I currently play basketball for the Atlanta Hawks. This past season, I took my team to Round 2 of the Eastern Conference Playoffs! I really enjoy playing basketball, among a lot of other things, like Rock Band and making my own screen savers. I think I'd be a great addition to any team, and I know that my 3-pointers and fun-loving attitude would be warmly welcome anywhere.

"The King"? Coincidence? :/

So let's talk. Currently, my condo is pretty much paid for and my Prius is doing just fine, so I don't really need a second car or anything. Things are pretty secure for the Bibby's at the moment and school is free (kids aren't going to college for another 6 years - phew!). It's because of my modest lifestyle and propensity for saving money that I am presently in a position to negotiate. So with that said, I'd like to now officially announce my offer to sign a 7-year contract with the Miami Heat for $1.

Yes, I know that's pretty low for a professional basketball player. And yes, after taxes, I'd only be making about 9 cents a year. BUT I'd be playing with guys that I think I'd get along pretty darn well with. AND I have no doubt that playing with the souped up Miami Heat would get me onto my first billboard. It's always been a dream of mine to be on a billboard, and ever since my daughter suggested I make this $1 offer, I've been convinced that this is the way to finally make my dream a 40-foot long reality. Just picture me on the shoulders of Bosh, Wade and LeBron with "THE BIG FOUR: It's getting hot in here!" printed under it!

I'm sure the phones are ringing off the hook at the offices of the Miami Heat, but please take some time to seriously consider my offer. I'm a great jump-shooter, a hard worker and a helluva passer. But don't take my word for it:

Against The Heat, eh?

Well, that's all I've got. Please let me know when you get the chance.

Also, please call my houseline between 7 and 11pm. I'm usually asleep by midnight.

Sincerely,

Mike 'The Other King' Bibby