Some of the League’s best were first found in the bargain bin. Just look at Rodman, Rashard, and Gil. There’s pride in the Second Round. Let’s give these guys their due.
Lance Stephenson
Height: 6’5”
Weight: 210 lbs.
Position: PG/SG,
Age: 19
Before we talk, I have something to show you. Consider it summer reading, a prerequisite to any discussion regarding Lance “Born Ready” Stephenson. It involves a possum.
I want to confirm that you did in fact just watch the father of the NBA’s 40th overall pick evict a possum from the family trashcan.
And yes, I also noticed that the possum was limping in the end as though it was staggering off to die. If you found any enjoyment in that clip, or are compelled by a ravenously morbid curiosity, you may want to watch all 18 episodes of “Born Ready”- the only online reality series to ostensibly chronicle Lance Stephenson Jr’s rise to high school superstardom. On your journey, Lance Sr. and his wife Bern will serve as your guides, providing strange advice and expository monologues when you most expect and least desire them. Also, Lance Sr. is prone to throwing parties for himself. Yes, Mom and Pop Stephenson are riding the fame train all the way to Club Avalon and you’re invited.
In addition to Mom and Dad, “Born Ready” introduces us to a litany of friends and family members who know what’s best for Lance and whose relation to him is dubious at best. Where Hoop Dreams took three hours to rend you crying to your knees, Born Ready takes two minutes to make you feel confused, then sorry for this unguided kid. They sure don’t make ‘em like they used to. Documentaries that is, but this Lance kid might be cut from a vintage cloth. Brought up in Coney Island, Lance attended Lincoln High School, presumed alma mater of NBA flops. The Lincoln Railsplitters produced Sebastian Telfair, Stephon Marbury and perhaps most notably Spike Lee’s imagined prodigy Jesus Shuttlesworth from 1998’s He Got Game. There’s a mountain of tradition down on Possum Island and everybody seems to know it except the deliberately unassuming Lance, whose mantra echoes Boxer of Animal Farm’s “I will work harder!”
And yes, I also noticed that the possum was limping in the end as though it was staggering off to die. If you found any enjoyment in that clip, or are compelled by a ravenously morbid curiosity, you may want to watch all 18 episodes of “Born Ready”- the only online reality series to ostensibly chronicle Lance Stephenson Jr’s rise to high school superstardom. On your journey, Lance Sr. and his wife Bern will serve as your guides, providing strange advice and expository monologues when you most expect and least desire them. Also, Lance Sr. is prone to throwing parties for himself. Yes, Mom and Pop Stephenson are riding the fame train all the way to Club Avalon and you’re invited.
In addition to Mom and Dad, “Born Ready” introduces us to a litany of friends and family members who know what’s best for Lance and whose relation to him is dubious at best. Where Hoop Dreams took three hours to rend you crying to your knees, Born Ready takes two minutes to make you feel confused, then sorry for this unguided kid. They sure don’t make ‘em like they used to. Documentaries that is, but this Lance kid might be cut from a vintage cloth. Brought up in Coney Island, Lance attended Lincoln High School, presumed alma mater of NBA flops. The Lincoln Railsplitters produced Sebastian Telfair, Stephon Marbury and perhaps most notably Spike Lee’s imagined prodigy Jesus Shuttlesworth from 1998’s He Got Game. There’s a mountain of tradition down on Possum Island and everybody seems to know it except the deliberately unassuming Lance, whose mantra echoes Boxer of Animal Farm’s “I will work harder!”The kid is so humble, so demure, and in such apparent need of help, it seems immediately appropriate that Bird’s Pacers picked him up. Consider Larry Legend’s own demeanor during his early years in the NBA. Watching Born Ready, I can’t help but wonder how the Hick from French Lick would have handled himself in the time of social media and 24-hour news.
Reality TV and Fat Joe aside, Lance is a physically monstrous specimen, the effect of which could be magnified if Jim Obrien ends up playing him at the point after the unsigned rookie’s respectable, albeit brief appearance in the Orlando Summer League. Let's review his talents. He gets to the hoop whenever he wants, has terrific vision, and was an impressively efficient 22-30 from the floor during his three games. With little love left for T.J. Ford, we may see Stephenson run the point for Indiana this year beginning with game one.
No matter what happens between then and now, the one guy not talking about Lance Stephenson will be Lance Stephenson.
Nobody said this yet, but this post is fire.
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