No Regard Recaps: Kobe-the-Point

One Game We Watched Last Night: Phoenix Suns vs. Los Angeles Lakers

Suns: 96, Lakers: 86


So many storylines to discuss from this basketball game: Kobe's new role on the Lakers as Kobe-the-Point, the Suns rocking their old-school threads and Steve Nash returning to his old ball club. For me, though, everything in the NBA is about Kobe-the-Point these days.

Emails From Pete: Once In A Lifetime

Hi. You know Pete, right? He wrote this. And this. Good guy. Great guy. Occasionally, Pete will bless the No Regard staff with an email of mythic levels. (Although as someone noted the other day, Pete is not concerned with levels.) Historically, they've been about what he ate for dinner the night before. From now on, we're going to share some of them with you so you can laugh with us, not at us. (C'mon, seriously, stop laughing at us.) The only backstory you need for this email is that it was sent to the nine of us who, with Pete, own Brooklyn Nets season tickets.

"Imagine what it would be like to get to see the greatest team in the history of basketball make their debut performance in Brooklyn, live, with your own two god-given eyes?!

Would you call it a New Years Miracle? A gift from our almighty Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth? Or simply the best day of your life?

You guessed it folks, next Friday's Phoenix Suns tickets could be yours, easily yours, with the simple act of swapping with myself, Peter Dick Brownell.

Luis Scola ring any bells? Goran Dragic tickle any funny bones? Michael FUCKING Beasley fire up the pistons in your amygdala?

Do you realize this game has the chance to be the best game in NBA history? Could it go to 7 overtimes? Probably. Might Latrell Sprewell rush to court to finish what he started with P.J. Carls? More than likely.

What will you tell your great grand kids when they're watching the most epic sporting event in the history of humanity, and you had the opportunity to see it, up close and personal? Cry probably, you'll probably start bawling.

Don't make that mistake.

Contact me to trade. Just do it, Nike."

No Regard Presidential Previews: Phoenix Suns (Warren G. Harding)

Oh the season. Oh the season! Election or NBA, both are upon us. We're getting into the spirit by bringing you our season previews (with a little help from the presidents). One per day for the next 30 days—which will bring us to the Day of Reckoning. So please join us on the campaign trail as we shake hands, kiss babies and sink jumpers.

“America's present need is not heroics, but healing; not nostrums but normalcy; not revolution, but restoration.” - Warren G. Harding

For the first time in a very long time, the Phoenix Suns will take the basketball court on opening day and arguably the most popular player in their history won't be fulfilling the team's point guard duties.  That's right: the once-long-haired, creative, string-pulling passer known for deadly accurate shooting and dribbling the hell out of the basketball is eating brunch with Kobe and Dwight on road trips this season (mostly fruit, no doubt). What to do for a team that has literally and figuratively been built around Nash for almost a decade? 

History is confused about how to remember Warren G. Harding. On one hand, some of his ideas were modern and progressive. He felt strongly about embracing minority rights, and was open to new cultures and technologies. Discussions about his legacy get awkward because of all that pesky scandal and corruption. Apparently, it's frowned upon to offer important government jobs to your buddies, especially when they use said jobs for personal gains. Who knew? 

These mixed reviews sum up the 2012-2013 Phoenix outfit. With their hero gone, the Suns were forced to try and put together a squad that would not only make them forget that Nash is now playing for a longtime rival, but also compete, at least a little. They did make some, albeit confusing, fan-friendly moves—nabbing, for starters, the always relevant Michael Beasley. Then there is the long-haired, multi-talented Argentinian gentleman, Luis Scola—he's a Sun now, too!  

Strange is the return of Steve Nash Lite, Goran Dragic. Dragic, mentored by Nash, has always had his skill set compared to the Canadian's. After playing in Houston the past few seasons, he's back! His pacey ball-handling will be critical in trying to dull the pain left from Steve's absence (or will his game just remind them of what they once had?). 

Then, the rabbit hole gets extremely deep when you think about the fact that Jermaine O'Neal and Sebastian Telfair are on the squad. What? As of now, JO is the only center on the roster besides the Polish Hammer and the existence of Bassey Telfair really makes my head spin. 

In a post-WWI America, Harding made it his duty to bring a semblance of normalcy back to his country. In a Nashless Phoenix, the Suns are doing their best to do the same. Instead, the roster they scrambled together, simply put, is perplexing. Even the death of Harding is murky. Was he poisoned by his wife, or did he just die of pneumonia? What will come of the new-look Suns, how will their story end? 

Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers

Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Porygon

Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Jermaine O'Neal is confused over which leg he injured"

Headline we're most looking forward to: "Nash return to Phoenix highlighted by 55-minute pre-game tribute video"

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "Bassey, I loved Through the Fire. Can I have your autograph?"

No Regard Recap: We Did It!

One Game We Watched Last Night: Boston Celtics vs. Orlando Magic

Celtics: 87, Magic: 56

In previewing this game, I practically dropped to my hands and knees and begged the Boston Celtics to create a video tribute honoring Big Baby's time as a Celtic. My favorite team's video department came through! The video was short, but it is the best video of all time.



The game itself was strange. The Cs were without established film actor Ray Allen and established commercial actor Rajon Rondo. Seemingly undermanned, the Celtics entrusted their point and shooting guard duties to Avery Bradley and Sasha Pavlovic respectively. They did not disappoint. Neither did Brandon "Big-Mouth Billy" Bass or Paul Pierce, who each dropped 19 in the victory. Pierce was as fit as he has been all season, playing the role of both facilitator and scorer.

Orlando's offensive was, simply stated, completely inept and only scored a scant 56 points. In his return, Big Baby shot 2-9 from the field, but was able to nab a respectable 11 rebounds. As a team, the Magic shot 26% from the field and could only manage 20 second half points. It was an ugly affair.

The story of the night, though, was of course the video tribute. It significantly over-shadowed the game. It was much celebrated by Glen Davis, the Magic (despite an abysmal performance), the Celtics and the entire NBA community.

One Game We Did Not Watch Last Night: Dallas Mavericks vs. Phoenix Suns

Mavs: 93, Suns: 87

#FREESTEVENASH!

No Regard Recaps: 11-8-2010

One Game We (Sort of) Watched Last Night: Phoenix Suns vs. Memphis Grizzlies

Suns: 99 Grizzlies: 109

So this little construct we've developed to cover the league every night was designed with practicality riding shotgun. With day jobs and significant others, we knew we couldn't cover each game every night with the vigor and attention to detail we demand from ourselves. But we agreed that between the six or so of us who regularly write, we could commit to one game a night to watch cover to cover and report back to you fine people. The "Game We Probably Won't Watch Tonight" conceit was built with honesty in mind; we crave the league as much as anyone, but there are some games that just don't speak to us. Plus, we all have Netflix, and those episodes of "Firefly" aren't going to watch themselves.

No Regard Daily Previews: 11-8-10

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Phoenix Suns vs. Memphis Grizzlies

Rudy Gay and Mike Conley should travel the country this off-season, delivering speeches at teachers conventions and high school auditoriums to explain the secret to exceeding expectations after gaining job security. Because these two gentlemen just got tenured (Gay by signing a $82 million, five-year contract this summer, and Conley with his five-year, $40 million contract signed just last week), and are both playing far above their once-cemented ceilings.

At least according to the numbers they are. I haven't seen them play yet, and box scores have lied to me before, so I want to make sure I'm not getting bamboozled here. The chances that Gay's stats through seven games are deceiving are slim, as 27.1 points per game on 52.8 percent shooting is tough to fake. Conversely, Conley's numbers—15.6 points, 8.3 assists, and 3.3 steals per game—have a decent chance of being unmasked like a "Scooby Doo" villain. We've all seen lesser point guards fudge similar numbers for chunks of the season before, only to turn out to be nothing more than a solid fantasy option that you waive after about a month. But I won't name names here, because I wouldn't want to offend Ramon Sessions, Larry Hughes, Brevin Knight, or anyone else. So I'll watch this game tonight, and hopefully Gay and Conley won't have already stopped preparing lesson plans by tip-off.

Plus, they're playing Los Suns, who I'll gladly watch every night as long as Steve Nash is the conductor.

One Game We Probably Won't Watch Tonight: Boston Celtics vs. Dallas Mavericks

When I say "we" here, I clearly am only speaking for myself, as some of the other souls who write for this Website will probably check out this game. But two well-managed stalwarts battling in early November isn't something that's going elicit any emotion from me, because (unlike the game above) it will neither surprise nor teach—two characteristics necessary for me to tune in from tip off this early in the season.

Or maybe it's more accurate to say that this game will teach me things that I don't care about, even though I probably should if I'm to become the well rounded baketball fan I strive to be. It's similar to my daily struggle of where to consume news online. I know I should probably visit BBC.co.uk or NPR.org to receive an austere dose of reality, but I'd rather just go to CNN.com and read about the professor who lost 27 pounds on a Twinkie diet or people in Japan who are really into Monopoly. Likewise, I prefer the opportunity of seeing Hasheem Thabeet foul out in four minutes to the sight of the Mavericks employing an six-pronged attack of 15-point scorers on their way to a grind-it-out victory.

I'll take quirk over severity any day. Well at least until the playoffs are in sight.

No Regard Daily Recaps: 11-8-10

One Game We Watched This Weekend: Boston Celtics vs. Chicago Bulls

Celtics: 110 Bulls: 105 (OT)

The Celtics squeaked out their second straight overtime victory Friday night in a barn-burner against their Eastern conference rivals, the Chicago Bulls. This game was all about Rose and Rondo, as predicted. The young guards went after each other all evening long and everyone that watched witnessed unprecedented greatness from these budding superstars. I desperately want to see them in a footrace. For me, Rondo's got a quicker first step, but when Rose gets going he might have a Rajon by a hair or two in the open floor. KG's pickpocket of Noah at the end of overtime sealed the deal for a Boston team that is rolling so far this regular season. For Chi-town, there are positives to take away from this game, but the bottom line is that Boozer's hand can't heal soon enough. D Rose needs help offensively and Noah needs help on the glass and defending bigs.

One Game We Didn't Watch This Weekend: Atlanta Hawks vs. Phoenix Suns

Atlanta: 114 Suns: 118

Wow. We missed a good one, huh. Oops.

No Regard Daily Recap: 10-28-10

One Game We Watched Last Night: Washington Wizards vs. Orlando Magic


I knew the Wizards' team dynamic would be a little bizarre to start the season, but this was worse than I expected. Flip Saunders needs to be concerned not only about his offense clicking on just about zero cylinders, but about how quickly it took for John Wall to become visibly frustrated by the situation. You could feel the star rookie’s pain every time he drove to the basket and saw no one else making a move. He wanted to create plays, but it seemed like no one else wanted to be a part of them, and when they did, they were settling for mid-range jumpers that rarely fell. There were a couple positives here for the Wizards: one, that Wall, while a bit shaky, showed glimpses of his ability to get to the basket against any defender; another, that JaVale McGee and Yi Jianlian actually looked like an imposing frontcourt duo several times toward the end of the second quarter. But overall, you have to wonder how long it’s going to take for this team to come together with any sort of fluidity, and how the return of Gilbert Arenas will help and/or complicate that process.

No Regard Daily Recap: Opening Night

One Game We Watched Last Night: Miami Heat vs. Boston Celtics


Heat: 80 Celtics: 88

I haven't checked yet, but my guess is that some people are overreacting about this game, in every way possible. Sure, the Heat's offense looked like it had been diagnosed with Asberger's Syndrome, but they'll figure it out. So instead of extrapolating what this performance may mean for the rest of the season, here are a few scattered thoughts about the game:

*Starting to think Rondo's refusal to dribble in the backcourt is not to conserve time, but energy before he creates landscapes on offense. It's like one of those attacks in Street Fighter where you have to hold the back arrow for two seconds before any other button combo.

*Chris Bosh doesn't set good picks.

*Spoelstra's strongest coaching came when he refused to call timeouts right after big plays (like that trailing Shaq dunk off the pass from Rondo). But that's about it for strong coaching. The talk about Riley taking over is going to keep getting louder.

*A fast break in late first quarter was snubbed because LeBron streaked to basket and Wade, et al couldn't run an efficient break. How could Wade look so bad all night? Did sitting out until tonight effect him so much that we are going to be forced to reconsider how important the preseason is?

*According to Craig Sager's report on Shaq bringing joy to the Celtics: "This is the happiest Kevin's been in years," says Mrs. Garnett. Awwww.

*LeBron needs a softer touch around the rim. Whether it's his "post game" or runners, he just has to get better at finishing between five and eight feet from the basket.

*Marquis Daniels had a few nice baskets, mostly the result of determined footwork. Nice change for someone who normally looks like he'd be surprised if you told him there was a game going on.

*It's insane clown posse how important James Jones is going to be to this team.

*Garnett covering House on the last inbound play was smart. Even with one of the fastest shots in the league, House was forced to pass thanks to Garnett's harassment.

One Game We Didn't Watch Last Night: Phoenix Suns vs. Portland Trailblazers


Phoenix: 92 Portland: 106

I told you Nicolas Batum was a thing: 26 minutes, 8 for 17 shooting, 3 for 8 from three-point range, 5 offensive rebounds, 11 total rebounds, 1 steal, 2 turnovers, and 19 points. Not sure what that all looked like, but he definitely played in an NBA regular season game. No one can say otherwise.

No Regard Daily Previews: Opening Night

Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Miami Heat vs. Boston Celtics

Ha. I spent some time today looking for that clip from season two of "Breaking Bad" when Jesse shoots up heroin for the first time and floats up off the bed, but couldn't find it. As NBA junkies, this isn't our first time getting high, but every time a new season hits our blood stream on opening night, it's like the first time all over again.

Anyway, I'm stalling here because what is there to say about this game that hasn't already been spewed ad nauseum. Even a bananahead knows the story lines and players taking the hardwood tonight in Boston.

Miller's injury does soften the impact of this whole exercise a bit, but only because it may force Spoelstra to play some more traditional line-ups. The match-ups are still where the intrigue resides with these two teams. More specifically, which coach will bow to the size of the other? No doubt Doc Rivers will try to force the action by trotting out very tall men like Garnett and Shaquille and Jermaine O'Neal, but does he stay the course when Wade and LeBron spit in the face of conventional positions and offensive schemes and succeed at running the show like maniacs?

I'm trying to act cool and downplay this, pretend there are other things in play here, but seriously: Heat-Celtics. It's going to be incredible.

One Game We Probably Won't Watch Tonight: Phoenix Suns vs. Portland Trailblazers

Nothing against these two squads, but I'm on the East Coast, and if I stay up late tonight, it's going to be for Yao Ming and Ron Artest's haircut.

But the Phoenix game should be pretty fascinating also, and maybe even a better game (the Lakers are receiving their rings tonight, and recently, teams in that position have struggled to shake off the celebratory hangover in time to win their first game). This is Nash's first opportunity to quell everyone's fears that the Sun's front office has finally put together a ragtag group of newsies too sorry for even Nash to salvage. But don't read a strong performance by him as anything more than a competitive dude excited for another season; Nash is too busy of a guy to spend time worrying about what the trees whisper about him.

Players who should come out looking to prove something are Dudley, Dragic, and the rest of the second-stringers who's play was so vital during last year's playoffs. It's one thing to respond to a challenge, but it's another rodeo altogether to be able to rope up high expectations and keep on riding hard.

As for the Blazers: Injuries, right? And Nicolas Batum. Those are things relating to that team, I'm sure of it!

Team Dreamin' 2011: SUNS

At No Regard, we love basketball. We love the spectacle and strategy of the game, but sometimes the league's lack of imagination confounds and disappoints us. Call us optimists, visionaries, or kids who watched too much Space Jam, but we have ideas. Damn are we gonna share 'em.


Suns, we love you.

But who are you? You let all your children run away. And you had so many good children. Why did you pack their bags for them? With the amiable departure of Elijah and Leandro Barbosa this summer, Steve Nash is the only member left from the original Seven Seconds or Less squad. Your team's identity is being questioned, and if we've learned anything from "The Simpsons" (and we've learned so much from "The Simpsons"), we've learned that you need a soul to write your name in the condensation of ice cream freezers and history books. Look: I like off-season acquisitions Josh Childress, Hakim Warrick, and Hedo as much as the next blogger (I probably like Hedo more than most), but these three disparate role players will not pack a singular personality in the toiletry bags they bring to Phoenix; they will pack odd sizes for their positions and a touch more talent than you thought they had. But nothing more.

Suns, we mourn you.

But we've hatched a plan for you. We promise it will get people excited about your team again, let them know who you are, and in the process show you who you are.

Steve Nash should retire from the NBA. Wait for it...