No Regard Recaps: Kobe-the-Point

One Game We Watched Last Night: Phoenix Suns vs. Los Angeles Lakers

Suns: 96, Lakers: 86


So many storylines to discuss from this basketball game: Kobe's new role on the Lakers as Kobe-the-Point, the Suns rocking their old-school threads and Steve Nash returning to his old ball club. For me, though, everything in the NBA is about Kobe-the-Point these days.

Emails From Pete: Once In A Lifetime

Hi. You know Pete, right? He wrote this. And this. Good guy. Great guy. Occasionally, Pete will bless the No Regard staff with an email of mythic levels. (Although as someone noted the other day, Pete is not concerned with levels.) Historically, they've been about what he ate for dinner the night before. From now on, we're going to share some of them with you so you can laugh with us, not at us. (C'mon, seriously, stop laughing at us.) The only backstory you need for this email is that it was sent to the nine of us who, with Pete, own Brooklyn Nets season tickets.

"Imagine what it would be like to get to see the greatest team in the history of basketball make their debut performance in Brooklyn, live, with your own two god-given eyes?!

Would you call it a New Years Miracle? A gift from our almighty Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth? Or simply the best day of your life?

You guessed it folks, next Friday's Phoenix Suns tickets could be yours, easily yours, with the simple act of swapping with myself, Peter Dick Brownell.

Luis Scola ring any bells? Goran Dragic tickle any funny bones? Michael FUCKING Beasley fire up the pistons in your amygdala?

Do you realize this game has the chance to be the best game in NBA history? Could it go to 7 overtimes? Probably. Might Latrell Sprewell rush to court to finish what he started with P.J. Carls? More than likely.

What will you tell your great grand kids when they're watching the most epic sporting event in the history of humanity, and you had the opportunity to see it, up close and personal? Cry probably, you'll probably start bawling.

Don't make that mistake.

Contact me to trade. Just do it, Nike."

Monday Morning Dance Therapy

Monday mornings are tough. As the work week starts, we often need something to pick us up and remind us that things are going to be okay. That something is NBA players and other hoops figures dancing. This weekly column celebrates one of the finest things in life and gives you the kickstart you need to get the week started on the right foot.

The other evening I was at a party, and as tends to happen, I was talking about my childhood affinity for early 90s R&B groups. I mentioned Jodeci, of course, as well as Silk and Shai. There was a brief misunderstanding, and I was forced to explain to someone that Shai was a different entity than Shai Hulud. In fact, Shai probably could not have been any more different than those hardcore stalwarts. I might go as far as to call them "softcore." I'm not sure if that person thinks less of me now, but sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe in. And Michael Beasley and I believe in "If I Ever Fall in Love."

No Regard Recap: 11/10/2010

One Game We Watched Last Night: Minnesota Timberwolves vs. Sacramento Kings
Wolves: 98 Kings: 89

by Andrew Rhymer

If you invite Michael Beasley to a party, he'll eventually show up. It might not be until 2 AM, and he may arrive stoned and dressed as the Predator, but the allure of a good time is something Be Easy does not just pass up.

Last night in Sacramento, Beasley finally showed up. He dropped a new career-high, 42 points, to lead his team over the Kings. The best part was that he did it all in classic Mike Beasley fashion. (If that is not a thing yet, it will be soon.)

No Regard Recap: 11-9-2010

One Game We Watched Last Night: Cleveland Cavaliers vs. New Jersey Nets

Cavs: 93 Nets: 91

The 2010-2011 Cavs are like kids whose father has died, but their mother doesn't think they're old enough to hear the truth yet.

"Your father," coach Byron Scott manages to say in a low voice, struggling to stay audible through a mask of dried tears, "had to go on a business trip."

"When will he be back?" quizzes Anderson Varejao.

"Not for a while."

No Regard Daily Recap: 10-27-10

One Game We Watched Last Night: Oklahoma City Thunder Vs. Chicago Bulls

Chicago: 95 Thunder: 106

The night, as predicted, belonged to the stars that shined in Turkey this summer for team USA. Durant, Rose and Westbrook were all brilliant in a game that was fast paced, exciting to watch, and full of high-flying offense. KD and Westbrook's combined 58 points led the Thunder to their first win of the season, but Rose's penetration, finishing around the basket, and silly-precise passing didn't make things easy for OKC's version of Batman and Robin. The avid fan should feel more than satisfied with this game after watching young, humble stars put on a show during prime time. And the casual fan got to witness plenty of play above the rim. Here are a few observations that stood out for me:

Udonis Arrest: Heated Reactions

Haslem was arrested Sunday
for Marijuana possession.

Udonis Haslem was pulled over for speeding on Sunday afternoon and was later arrested for possession of marijuana. A search of his car yielded less than 20 grams. We can only speculate as to why the Miami Heat Forward would feel the need to drive under the influence. Perhaps he saw what Russell Westbrook was up to this weekend and decided he too had a serious snack attack. Haslem will be drug-tested and faces a maximum 5 year prison sentence.  


The Heat made quite a fuss about re-signing Haslem this summer to play alongside their newly minted triumvirate of LeBron, Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade. Time will tell how this may or may not affect the Slumber Party Boys, but with not even a day gone by, everyone affiliated with the Miami Heat organization is speaking out on the issue. We've sorted through the numerous press conferences to bring you some of the thoughts of Udonis's colleagues and coworkers.

Erik Spoelstra
Head Coach

"I've never tried pot before. We watched a video on it in health class that said if we smoke dope we'll be homeless."

Pat Riley

Team President

"I knew I should never have hired my neighbor's kid to coach this team. This was totally his fault. I'm getting thirsty."

Beauty of the Beas

The movie Gunnin' for that #1 Spot opens with a handicam shot of Michael Beasley doing what he does best: acting like a goofball. The rest of the movie, which follows Beasley and the other competitors in 2006's Elite 24 high schoolers game at Rucker Park in Harlem, contains equal parts that and the thing that Beasley does second best: playing phenomenal basketball.

Unfortunately, in his two years with the Miami Heat, Beasley did not get the opportunity to do either of those things very well. He has been a solid contributor during that time, no doubt about it. But expectations were big when he was taken with the second pick in 2008. He had been dominant in high school (at nearly a dozen different institutions) and in college (at Kansas State). And, above all, he seemed poised for a spectacular NBA career. He was a big forward with crazy athleticism, and he had the personality of a Barkleyesque class clown who also needed to be taken seriously.