Lockout Update: Coach Spo

Coach Spo was recently spotted at a local middle school in Miami.

The staff assumed he was a new student.

Spo Finally Bets the House!!

The Dallas Mavericks may have just won the NBA championship, but the real story of game six comes out of a decision made by pre-pubescent Miami Heat coach, Erik Spo, who finally decided to throw all his chips into the center of the table and bet the House.

No Regard Recap 11-11-10

One Game We Watched Last Night: Boston Celtics vs. Miami Heat

Lebron not committing a technical foul.

Hell of a night for underdogs... that is if we're still inexplicably considering the Boston Celtics underdogs. Which I'm sure now we shouldn't. Meanwhile, Miami continues to keep the "alternating clumsy/super-impressive style" playlist on repeat like Norah Jones on my iPod.

Erik Spoelstra Bets The House

Erik Spoelstra bets the house.

A lot of things went down around the League this weekend. With 27 games played over three days, a lot of moments get swept under the rug, and many questions go unanswered. Why do the Thunder look so lackluster? Can the Celtics stay this good (and this healthy) until the playoffs? Why are the Trail Blazers on TV every day?


In the midst of so much uncertainty, one question was answered this weekend with resounding clarity, a question first whispered this summer in Miami, that has grown into a near national obsession. Now that the Heat have LeBron and Wade, who takes the last shot?

Udonis Arrest: Heated Reactions

Haslem was arrested Sunday
for Marijuana possession.

Udonis Haslem was pulled over for speeding on Sunday afternoon and was later arrested for possession of marijuana. A search of his car yielded less than 20 grams. We can only speculate as to why the Miami Heat Forward would feel the need to drive under the influence. Perhaps he saw what Russell Westbrook was up to this weekend and decided he too had a serious snack attack. Haslem will be drug-tested and faces a maximum 5 year prison sentence.  


The Heat made quite a fuss about re-signing Haslem this summer to play alongside their newly minted triumvirate of LeBron, Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade. Time will tell how this may or may not affect the Slumber Party Boys, but with not even a day gone by, everyone affiliated with the Miami Heat organization is speaking out on the issue. We've sorted through the numerous press conferences to bring you some of the thoughts of Udonis's colleagues and coworkers.

Erik Spoelstra
Head Coach

"I've never tried pot before. We watched a video on it in health class that said if we smoke dope we'll be homeless."

Pat Riley

Team President

"I knew I should never have hired my neighbor's kid to coach this team. This was totally his fault. I'm getting thirsty."

Team Dreamin' 2011: HEAT

At No Regard, we love basketball. We love the spectacle and strategy of the game, but sometimes the league's lack of imagination confounds and disappoints us. Call us optimists, visionaries, or kids who watched too much Space Jam, but we have ideas. Damn are we gonna share 'em.

The meeting of the minds down in South Beach spelled very bad news for Erik Spoelstra. Entering his third season as head coach and personal seat warmer for Pat Riley, Spoelstra has the misfortunate distinction of being 39 years old and still looking like a cub scout. To the man standing before the basketball world like a kid at a spelling bee, we offer some advice:

Erik, grow a mustache.