No Regard Recaps: Kobe-the-Point

One Game We Watched Last Night: Phoenix Suns vs. Los Angeles Lakers

Suns: 96, Lakers: 86


So many storylines to discuss from this basketball game: Kobe's new role on the Lakers as Kobe-the-Point, the Suns rocking their old-school threads and Steve Nash returning to his old ball club. For me, though, everything in the NBA is about Kobe-the-Point these days.

This Post Is About A Bobcats Game I Watched In November, By Myself

The number of things that happen during one NBA season equals infinity. You won’t see most of them. (And thanks to Twitter, you don’t have to.) It’s fine that you don’t see a lot of them because a lot of them are Al Jefferson post moves and Kevin Love rebounds and Rodney Stuckey somethings. These are all worthwhile things to see, but also, if you miss them, you still know they happened. No big deal.

But then there are other events, ones that are rare and wonderful. They’re hidden deep in the forest, across the river, past the clearing, under the the hardened roots of two-hundred-year-old trees. They manifest as a shimmer that you ignore on first glance, but it leaves an itch in your mind. You need to scratch it so you look back, and there it is. It's remarkable only in how normal it looks on the surface, but at the center is a rich filling of gooey promise and important basketball. These are the psychedelic happenings that validate all the nights of predictable wins and middling performances. These games are what keep bringing us back, again and again and again (and again and again).

I watched a Charlotte Bobcats game this past November and wouldn't you know it? I am still thinking about the game right now, in January. On that lonely Saturday night, I uncovered this exact type of whirring treasure. It was a watershed moment. It involved a lot of Bismack Biombo blown rotations.

Early in the night, I was considering laying down a chunk of cash for League Pass. A Saturday night spent by myself seemed the perfect time to finally pay up and get to enjoy a full slate of games. But time and whiskey got the better of me and suddenly I was face to face with the vicious, drooling reality of a Bobcats-Mavericks game. Ok. Let's roll.

An hour later, Brendan Haywood is playing a significant role in my life and all I care about is Charlotte winning this game. The franchise had yet to beat Dallas, which just ain't right. When I watch Nets games (my team of choice), I use my hands. Put up three fingers when a long shot goes up. Pump a fist when necessary. Help the refs call a travel or possession. These are all involuntary when watching my Nets, but nonexistent when watching other teams—except for the Bobcats on this night. I love them. How much does a Kemba jersey cost? Haywire Haywood botches two chances in the paint to cut the lead to one, then gets immediate redemption by getting fouled on a lay-in. He misses, but then Kemba continues making his case for this being The Kemba Game and skies for the rebound. Someone misses and MKG gets the rebound, passes to Sessions who drives and scores and can you believe the wonder and joy and merriment the NBA affords us?

In overtime, Kemba refuses to use a Haywood screen because it would taint the majesty of Kemba’s night. Aesthetics matter to this man. He leads them—and me—to terrific victory. We did it. We all did it and everything is great.

Now I'm going to finish off blowing this game way out of proportion, but I do genuinely believe in everything I'm about to say. Does a win by a non-playoff team over another non-playoff team matter? Yes it does. As much as a playoff win or even championship? Sure, why not? In fact, I would argue that this game has to matter, or else we're all wasting our time. Great games with contending teams late in the season or in the playoffs are the minority. The bulk of the NBA season is made up of games like this, games that many people would classify as meaningless. But to make them matter, all you have to do is buy in and suspend your disbelief for a few hours. If you can do this, then every moment of the season that you do get to watch becomes worthwhile. And this is the secret to finding these rare moments of glory during the endless NBA season: Just make them matter. (I don't know what that book The Secret is, but I bet its central tenet is something like this.) That's why they play (and we watch) the games, no?

No Regard Presidential Previews: Charlotte Bobcats (Gerald Ford)

Oh the season. Oh the season! Election or NBA, both are upon us. We're getting into the spirit by bringing you our season previews (with a little help from the presidents). One per day for the next 30 days—which will bring us to the Day of Reckoning. So please join us on the campaign trail as we shake hands, kiss babies and sink jumpers.

“I must say to you that the State of the Union is not good.” - Gerald R. Ford

You didn't vote for Gerald Ford. Neither did your parents, your grandparents or anyone else. A man nobody voted for became the President of the United States due to the removal of the entire winning tickets of the '68 and '72 elections, due to separate acts of corruption. The country watched with resignation for 895 days, the shortest presidency that did not end in death, before choosing not to re-elect him.

Charlotte didn't ask for the Bobcats. Then-Hornets owner George Shinn skipped town and took the team with him to New Orleans in the aftermath of a sexual assault scandal. There was no public outcry when the Hornets departed the Queen City, but the NBA granted Charlotte an expansion team anyway. Nobody cared when it happened and even fewer are inspired to Get Their Whiskers On now. The late Jerry Ford presided over what was then the worst economy since the Great Depression, just as the Bobcats have been present for the rapid decay of the Charlotte banking scene. There was little either could do to help. 

President Ronald Reagan passed away in 2004 and millions across the nation tuned in to watch the funeral procession. President Ford moved on to the next world in 2006 without nearly as much fanfare. Whenever the Bobcats finally leave town, don't hold your breath on a Save-Our-Sonics type movement. They may even literally become the Seattle SuperSonics. Will the Bobcats reach a dozen wins this season? Will rookie Michael Kidd-Gilchrist make them relevant? When did Ben Gordon get here?!

Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers

Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Magikarp

Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Will the Bobcats Have Better Luck in the 2013 Draft Lottery?"

Headline we're most looking forward to: "Drunk Person Challenges Owner Michael Jordan, Loses Halftime 1-on-1 Game 70-0 Before a Crowd of Dozens"

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "Hmm, it says here you've already been checked in for a while..."

NBA Middle Names: Paul Silas

We at No Regard spend a lot of time in our NBA knitting circles trying to figure out the human side of these players. Whether it's musing about their commutes to work, how much "Call of Duty" they play, or what their favorite snack food is, we like to remind ourselves that NBA players are nothing more than young men with enviable jobs. What better way to humanize our heroes than look up their middle names?

Paul Theron Silas

Kwame Mans Up

Holy shit! Kwame Brown just signed a 1 year deal for next to nothing with the Charlotte Bobcats. Why the, "holy shit!" you ask? Frankly, I just can not believe he has the balls to do such a thing. Do what, you ask? Come within earshot of Michael Jordan, that is what. What is wrong with MJ you are wondering? Well, that is a loaded question, inquisitive reader, but my shock behind this comes from remembering the rumors that Jordan nicknamed Brown, "the flaming faggot" and made him cry during practices after Michael drafted Brown first overall out of high school for the Washington Wizards in 2001.

Kudos to you Kwame, much respect for you and this decision. God knows if the best basketball player ever was sending homophobic slurs my way on a regular basis I would absolutely bawl like Brown did. I would also never even consider getting near Jordan ever again after taking this sort of abuse.

Seriously, "the flaming faggot?" Christ, that is offensive and hurtful.