If You See Something, Say Something: Twins, Canadian Footy and Bald Kings

IYSSSS is our semi-regular internet intelligence report, a liberal arts approach to following the NBA on the Web. E-mail us at jewsforjesusshuttlesworth@gmail.com if you've got any suggestions.

Gasols Everywhere!: I won't lie and suggest that I've been avidly following the European Championships or whatever they're called. However, I was seriously tickled when I saw that the Gasol brothers were up to some serious twin shenanigans the other night and combined for 43 points in the second half to take down the Dirk-led German side. Rumor has it that next game they might switch jerseys!

Nash on the Pitch: Steve Nash recently practiced with the MLS' Vancouver Whitecaps, of which he is a part owner. The Canadian stated afterwards that he is by no means ready to become an MLSer. Terrible attitude from Nash, but at least he's getting out there and working at it. One day, maybe... A guy can dream, right?

Labor Talks Increase: I guess I am slightly encouraged by the recent surge in negotiations between the players and owners, but I'm equally angered by the fact that they haven't simply locked themselves in a room with no food and minimal water until this mess is resolved.

Brandon Jennings Disses the King: Does it get any better than Twitter? No, it does not. After LBJ commented on the Maryland University football uniforms (brought to you by Under Armour), Brandon Jennings responded by taking a jab at LeBron's forever-receding hairline. See, Jennings is taking his gig as Under Armour's “Curator of Cool” seriously.

Team Dreamin' 2011: SUNS

At No Regard, we love basketball. We love the spectacle and strategy of the game, but sometimes the league's lack of imagination confounds and disappoints us. Call us optimists, visionaries, or kids who watched too much Space Jam, but we have ideas. Damn are we gonna share 'em.


Suns, we love you.

But who are you? You let all your children run away. And you had so many good children. Why did you pack their bags for them? With the amiable departure of Elijah and Leandro Barbosa this summer, Steve Nash is the only member left from the original Seven Seconds or Less squad. Your team's identity is being questioned, and if we've learned anything from "The Simpsons" (and we've learned so much from "The Simpsons"), we've learned that you need a soul to write your name in the condensation of ice cream freezers and history books. Look: I like off-season acquisitions Josh Childress, Hakim Warrick, and Hedo as much as the next blogger (I probably like Hedo more than most), but these three disparate role players will not pack a singular personality in the toiletry bags they bring to Phoenix; they will pack odd sizes for their positions and a touch more talent than you thought they had. But nothing more.

Suns, we mourn you.

But we've hatched a plan for you. We promise it will get people excited about your team again, let them know who you are, and in the process show you who you are.

Steve Nash should retire from the NBA. Wait for it...