No Regard Presidential Previews: Los Angeles Lakers (Ronald Reagan)

Oh the season. Oh the season! Election or NBA, both are upon us. We're getting into the spirit by bringing you our season previews (with a little help from the presidents). One per day for the next 30 days—which will bring us to the Day of Reckoning. So please join us on the campaign trail as we shake hands, kiss babies and sink jumpers.

"Concentrated power has always been the enemy of liberty." - Ronald Reagan

Ronald Reagan would please ask that you stay out of his way.

On March 30, 1981, Ronald Reagan became the first sitting U.S. president to survive a gunshot wound from an assassination attempt. Following the attack, just 69 days into his presidency, Reagan's approval rating shot up to 73% and then he went on to be one of the most successful, accomplished, divisive presidents over the course of his two terms. Not sure what was in that bullet, but we'd all be so lucky to get some.

Jerry Buss would please ask that you stay out of his way.

On December 8, 2011, Jerry Buss became the first acting NBA owner to survive a vetoed trade at the hands of Commissioner (and at that time, owner) David Stern. Like Reagan (and Obi-Wan) before him,  Buss made the assassination attempt look foolish. If you strike down Dr. Jerry Buss, he will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine. Take away his all-star point guard before he even gets a chance to don the jersey? He'll go out and get a Hall of Fame point guard and supplant him with Dwight Howard. Then start talking about going after LeBron in two years. You make him share his revenue? Fine, he'll make you tax him into oblivion just to see who blinks first. He's small government to the death and will gladly enter an arms race at the mention of another team's dynasty. We should all be so lucky.

There's a lot here: A Hollywood President. Reaganomics. Phil Jackson as Reagan's early Democratic tendencies. Reagan's War on Drugs and the fact that War on Drugs (the band) are huge NBA fans. Guys, it's all there if we just believe.

And then, there's Lakers fans and Young Republicans, who are probably all the same people. I guess Republicans read blogs, too, but you all seem crazy and entitled. I'm sorry. (I'm not sorry.)

Sorry, to ignore the actual basketball team that the Lakers are trotting out this year, but they are scary and I'm still getting better at facing my problems head on. Bedtime for Bonzo? More like bedtime for the rest of the league. We're all in trouble.

Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers

Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Mewtwo

Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Kobe and Dwight and Nash and Pau and World Peace"

Headline we're most looking forward to: "Nash Takes Leave of Absence to Chase MLS Cup With Henry"[Ed. - We'll never stop this campaign.]

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "I give up."

No Regard Presidential Previews: Phoenix Suns (Warren G. Harding)

Oh the season. Oh the season! Election or NBA, both are upon us. We're getting into the spirit by bringing you our season previews (with a little help from the presidents). One per day for the next 30 days—which will bring us to the Day of Reckoning. So please join us on the campaign trail as we shake hands, kiss babies and sink jumpers.

“America's present need is not heroics, but healing; not nostrums but normalcy; not revolution, but restoration.” - Warren G. Harding

For the first time in a very long time, the Phoenix Suns will take the basketball court on opening day and arguably the most popular player in their history won't be fulfilling the team's point guard duties.  That's right: the once-long-haired, creative, string-pulling passer known for deadly accurate shooting and dribbling the hell out of the basketball is eating brunch with Kobe and Dwight on road trips this season (mostly fruit, no doubt). What to do for a team that has literally and figuratively been built around Nash for almost a decade? 

History is confused about how to remember Warren G. Harding. On one hand, some of his ideas were modern and progressive. He felt strongly about embracing minority rights, and was open to new cultures and technologies. Discussions about his legacy get awkward because of all that pesky scandal and corruption. Apparently, it's frowned upon to offer important government jobs to your buddies, especially when they use said jobs for personal gains. Who knew? 

These mixed reviews sum up the 2012-2013 Phoenix outfit. With their hero gone, the Suns were forced to try and put together a squad that would not only make them forget that Nash is now playing for a longtime rival, but also compete, at least a little. They did make some, albeit confusing, fan-friendly moves—nabbing, for starters, the always relevant Michael Beasley. Then there is the long-haired, multi-talented Argentinian gentleman, Luis Scola—he's a Sun now, too!  

Strange is the return of Steve Nash Lite, Goran Dragic. Dragic, mentored by Nash, has always had his skill set compared to the Canadian's. After playing in Houston the past few seasons, he's back! His pacey ball-handling will be critical in trying to dull the pain left from Steve's absence (or will his game just remind them of what they once had?). 

Then, the rabbit hole gets extremely deep when you think about the fact that Jermaine O'Neal and Sebastian Telfair are on the squad. What? As of now, JO is the only center on the roster besides the Polish Hammer and the existence of Bassey Telfair really makes my head spin. 

In a post-WWI America, Harding made it his duty to bring a semblance of normalcy back to his country. In a Nashless Phoenix, the Suns are doing their best to do the same. Instead, the roster they scrambled together, simply put, is perplexing. Even the death of Harding is murky. Was he poisoned by his wife, or did he just die of pneumonia? What will come of the new-look Suns, how will their story end? 

Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers

Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Porygon

Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Jermaine O'Neal is confused over which leg he injured"

Headline we're most looking forward to: "Nash return to Phoenix highlighted by 55-minute pre-game tribute video"

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "Bassey, I loved Through the Fire. Can I have your autograph?"

No Regard Previews: Blood, Sweat, and John Wall

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Phoenix Suns vs. San Antonio Spurs

With two games left on their schedule, the Spurs can still nab the best record in the NBA. No small feat for a team that many of us seem to forget exists on an almost daily basis. Then we remember that they still sport lifetime Spur Timmy Duncan, who continues to do what he does: back-board an orange ball into a hoop and occasionally get asked to fight with NBA official during a game. We remember that despite his injuries this season, Manu is still a crazy-athletic Argentinian dude who can Euro-step to the moon if he so pleases. We remember that while Tony Parker may or may not be sleeping with a teammate's wife, he's having quite possibly his best season yet and almost certainly is an MVP candidate. And finally, we remember that behind it all is a mastermind, Coach Pop, who not only has been able to quietly keep together one of the most consistently successful teams of all time, but also one day did this. He'll forever remain a favorite in our hearts as a result. 

As for Phoenix, after being eliminated from playoff contention last night, we face what might very well be the last Suns vs. Spurs game featuring Steve Nash in an orange Suns tank top. While the contest is ultimately meaningless for the Suns, perhaps recalling the blood gushing out of their captain's nose as a result of Tony Parker's big dome will provide motivation. If this is indeed the last time we are witness to this rivalry, let's hope that we get an effort that reminds us how hard these teams played against each other over the years.

One Game We Definitely Won't Watch Tonight: Cleveland Cavaliers vs. Washington Wizards

If you think that for one second the only reason we are previewing this game is so that I could have an excuse to put up a picture of John Wall in a Red Bulls shirt, then you are way off. That is crazy talk. 

We are just really intrigued to see if the Wizards can continue the impressive form they have been in as of late...

Question of the Day

If the Suns called up the Knicks and offered Steve Nash for Jeremy Lin straight up, should the New York take the offer?

No Regard Recap: We Did It!

One Game We Watched Last Night: Boston Celtics vs. Orlando Magic

Celtics: 87, Magic: 56

In previewing this game, I practically dropped to my hands and knees and begged the Boston Celtics to create a video tribute honoring Big Baby's time as a Celtic. My favorite team's video department came through! The video was short, but it is the best video of all time.



The game itself was strange. The Cs were without established film actor Ray Allen and established commercial actor Rajon Rondo. Seemingly undermanned, the Celtics entrusted their point and shooting guard duties to Avery Bradley and Sasha Pavlovic respectively. They did not disappoint. Neither did Brandon "Big-Mouth Billy" Bass or Paul Pierce, who each dropped 19 in the victory. Pierce was as fit as he has been all season, playing the role of both facilitator and scorer.

Orlando's offensive was, simply stated, completely inept and only scored a scant 56 points. In his return, Big Baby shot 2-9 from the field, but was able to nab a respectable 11 rebounds. As a team, the Magic shot 26% from the field and could only manage 20 second half points. It was an ugly affair.

The story of the night, though, was of course the video tribute. It significantly over-shadowed the game. It was much celebrated by Glen Davis, the Magic (despite an abysmal performance), the Celtics and the entire NBA community.

One Game We Did Not Watch Last Night: Dallas Mavericks vs. Phoenix Suns

Mavs: 93, Suns: 87

#FREESTEVENASH!

No Regard Preview: Video Tributes For Life

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Boston Celtics vs. Orlando Magic

The best part about players returning to their former teams' home arenas for the first time is trying to determine if the organization prepared a video tribute for the ex-whoever or not. Recently, when the Celtics welcomed back Perkins, they did so with this fantastic montage. It was emotional, awesome and super dope, all wrapped up into a video tribute. The Lakers gave Odom one as well.

Orlando is at Boston tonight, which means Big Baby is back in TD Bank North Garden. As such, I sit here nervously pondering if Glen will get the same respect and treatment as Perk. If it were up to me, I'd give every player a video tribute every night. Derrick Favors back in Newark? You bet your ass video tribute. Mr. Candace Parker back in Atlanta (dropped 5.5 a game as a rookie, a career high), Sacramento, Minnesota, Boston or New York? Video tribute, all day, please.

Sure, Perkins and Davis had significantly different careers with the Celtics. Perk was around from '03-'11, was a critical rebounder and defender, and bolstered a physical frontline that helped the team win a title. Conversely, Baby played from '07-'11, came off the bench, was inconsistent throughout and took a serious nosedive in terms of production towards the end of last season. On the plus side, he hit a game winner against Orlando in the playoffs and then accidentally barrelled over a young Orlando fan, he let Nate Robinson climb on his back and he was always hustling and taking charges.

Those reasons seem good enough for me: I expect a video tribute tonight and will turn off the TV if I do not get one.

One Game We May Or May Not Watch: Dallas Mavericks vs. Phoenix Suns


Right, Nash has played a bunch of games in Dallas since leaving the Mavericks in 2004, but they should really consider trotting out a video tribute for him tonight. They should put one together each time he comes back to Dallas. And actually, the Mavs should also throw up a video tribute to Dirk before every game, too. And the Suns should do that for Nash also. OK: Before every single game Nash or Dirk plays in, the arena should fire up a video tribute. Because they are the best. Just look at them up there.

If You See Something, Say Something: Giraffes, Secret Gardens and Petro's Game

IYSSSS is our semi-regular Internet intelligence report, a liberal arts approach to following the NBA on the Web. E-mail us at jewsforjesusshuttlesworth@gmail.com if you've got any suggestions.

LeBron James is Not Taller Than a Giraffe: After recently purchasing a stake in the historic English football club Liverpool, LeBron James headed across the pond to check out his investment in person. This video details the highlights of the King's trip, which includes meeting Liverpool skipper Steven Gerrard and attending a Manchester United-Liverpool match. Skip ahead to the end of the spot to "Small Talk" in which LeBron is grilled by a group of English kids. Questions like, "LeBron, shouldn't your first name be James?" and "LeBron, have you always been tall?" keep the Miami Heat superstar on his toes. LBJ does confirm that he is in fact, not taller than a giraffe.

Our Favorite Canadian's Secret: Here's another neat video worth watching! This NBA.com player profile takes a peak into Steve Nash's lifestyle, specifically his work ethic, diet and fitness regime. While Thunder Dan Majerle believes Steve's success comes from his insatiable desire to be the best, Channing Frye has his own theory: He hypothesizes that Nash has a "secret garden of magical fruits and vegetables" that has kept him fit late into his 30s. I tend to agree with Frye.

Jay-Z's Value to the Brooklyn Nets: The New Jersey Nets are struggling and Jay-Z just became a new father. But as the Nets continue to prepare for their move across two rivers, the entertainment mogul won't let either of these variables affect his strong influence over almost all the decisions being made by the franchise. From providing opinions on jersey colors to weighing in on architectural design questions, it's clear that Hova is more concerned about the Nets going 0-82 than he lets on.

Johan Petro's Fascinating Story: We leave you with Johan Petro's website, http://www.johanpetro27.com. Not wanting to give away too many of the treasures this Internet goldmine contains, here's how Petro's game is described in the biography section: "When you describe the prototypical NBA center, he is not complete without superlative size, strength and athleticism. He'll fight for rebounds in the trenches, but is just as quick to burn you with a shot from 15 feet. Johan Petro possesses all these skills and more, and bears all the promise of fulfilling his vast potential." That pretty much sums up exactly how I feel about Petro's game. Wait, I'm sorry, I forgot who we're talking about.

No Regard Recap: Parsons The New School for Dunks

One Game We Watched Last Night: Los Angeles Clippers vs. Houston Rockets

Clippers: 117, Rockets: 89

Notching what was undoubtedly their most impressive performance in the CP3 era, the Clippers were piping hot in a dominating victory against the Kevin McHale led Rockets. Sparked by a 41 point first quarter, Lob City was on full display as Blake and company spent the majority of the evening with their genitals far above the rim. When we heard that Chris Paul had been traded to the Clippers we were tickled, mainly because it gave them another player on their roster with two first names, but also because of that whole alley-oop business. Last night, we got what we came for.

As for the Rockets, the bright note is Chandler Parsons. The rookie from Florida tallied 8 boards, 11 points and one highlight dunk over Blake in a solid effort off the bench. NBA you have been warned, Chandler Parsons is a bad man.

One Game We Didn't Watch Last Night: Dallas Mavericks vs. Phoenix Suns

Mavericks: 98, Suns: 89

Considering Dirk played in his 1,000th career NBA game and Nash scored his 10,000 NBA point, it seems pretty rude that neither posted anything on twitter about where they ended up after the game. All we got from Steve was, "Tough loss. Great to have @DA_Finster in the building! Hope he gets on a team soon. Need a win Friday planet orange!!" And absolutely nothing from Nowitzki. Really ridiculous. We don't throw around the words "selfish" and "fake" very often on this Website, but seriously guys? Not even an, "Out with Steve after our win, should be interesting," from @swish41? What good is 2012 if you can't find out via the Internet where people you've never meet before, yet are oddly obsessed with, are drinking liquor?

No Regard Preview: Coach McHale!

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Los Angeles Clippers vs. Houston Rockets

I forgot that Kevin McHale is a coach in the NBA. There's just a lot going on, you know? He coaches the Houston Rockets! He has many assistant coaches working for him, some of which include strength-and-conditioning coach Darryl Eto (who went to Arizona University) and assistant trainer Jason Biles (who attended North Florida). Coach McHale has players he coaches every day that have to listen to him! Players like long-haired Argentinian Luis Scola and efficient scorer Kevin Martin are required to pay attention to Kevin when he's breaking down some new breed of offensive strategy. The former TNT commentator, Minnesota GM and Boston Celtic walks into the arena for practice and the janitors say, "Hey Coach," and Kevin McHale smiles and gives a big wave back. He's proud of himself. And we are, too.

As for the Clippers? Lob City baby!!

One Game We Won't Watch Tonight: Dallas Mavericks vs. Phoenix Suns

The truth is that we might watch this, but by watch this we mean we'll have the game on and we'll be texting the entire time debating over where Steve Nash and Dirk will be going after the game and how many drinks they'll be having. Then we'll ponder what type of drinks: beer, shots, whiskey, tequila? Then we'll dive into if they ordered steak or not and determine that Steve probably did not; he is a healthy eater. Then we'll remind ourselves that Dirk loves pizza so we'll settle on that.

If You See Something, Say Something: Twins, Canadian Footy and Bald Kings

IYSSSS is our semi-regular internet intelligence report, a liberal arts approach to following the NBA on the Web. E-mail us at jewsforjesusshuttlesworth@gmail.com if you've got any suggestions.

Gasols Everywhere!: I won't lie and suggest that I've been avidly following the European Championships or whatever they're called. However, I was seriously tickled when I saw that the Gasol brothers were up to some serious twin shenanigans the other night and combined for 43 points in the second half to take down the Dirk-led German side. Rumor has it that next game they might switch jerseys!

Nash on the Pitch: Steve Nash recently practiced with the MLS' Vancouver Whitecaps, of which he is a part owner. The Canadian stated afterwards that he is by no means ready to become an MLSer. Terrible attitude from Nash, but at least he's getting out there and working at it. One day, maybe... A guy can dream, right?

Labor Talks Increase: I guess I am slightly encouraged by the recent surge in negotiations between the players and owners, but I'm equally angered by the fact that they haven't simply locked themselves in a room with no food and minimal water until this mess is resolved.

Brandon Jennings Disses the King: Does it get any better than Twitter? No, it does not. After LBJ commented on the Maryland University football uniforms (brought to you by Under Armour), Brandon Jennings responded by taking a jab at LeBron's forever-receding hairline. See, Jennings is taking his gig as Under Armour's “Curator of Cool” seriously.

Sometimes Picking The Right Guy To Root For Is Easy

All-Star Weekend: You Know We Got Skills

The Skills Challenge may be the single most divisive part of NBA All-Star Weekend. Some find it to be a riveting look at the little things that make NBA point guards great. Others think it is incredibly boring, especially when compared to fan favorites like the Dunk Contest and the 3-Point Shootout. We here at No Regard think it's a pretty good watch, but we agree that the NBA could do something to spice it up. Namely, add to the course these non-basketball skills there we're modestly proposing. You know, stuff to break up the tedium that folks who aren't junkies might find in dribbling and passing accuracy and whatnot. Below, we've listed five skills we think should be added to this year's Challenge (aka the Taco Bell All-Star 2011 Skills Challenge) immediately, as well as the NBA players—whether point guards or not—who would really own that skill.

First up: Burritos.

Rajon Rondo: Legitimate MVP Candidate? Legitimate MVP Candidate.

About two weeks ago, PeteB11 and I had a very short Gchat conversation:

Peter: Adam

When do we start throwing Rondo in theMVP conversation

Adam: right now?

Peter: He's an MVP candidate

there I said it

As you should know, Pete is a very funny guy, and I thought it was a very funny dialogue. "What a jokester, that Pete!" I thought to myself.

At the time, the only Celtics game I had watched was their opening statement against the Heat. Since then, I've watched five more of their contests, and I'm starting to realize that there's a good chance Pete was being as serious as your life.

No Regard Recaps: 11-8-2010

One Game We (Sort of) Watched Last Night: Phoenix Suns vs. Memphis Grizzlies

Suns: 99 Grizzlies: 109

So this little construct we've developed to cover the league every night was designed with practicality riding shotgun. With day jobs and significant others, we knew we couldn't cover each game every night with the vigor and attention to detail we demand from ourselves. But we agreed that between the six or so of us who regularly write, we could commit to one game a night to watch cover to cover and report back to you fine people. The "Game We Probably Won't Watch Tonight" conceit was built with honesty in mind; we crave the league as much as anyone, but there are some games that just don't speak to us. Plus, we all have Netflix, and those episodes of "Firefly" aren't going to watch themselves.

No Regard Daily Previews: 11-3-10

One Game We Definitely Won't Miss This Time, I Swear!: Sacramento Kings Vs. Los Angeles Lakers


That's right, I'm doing it. I am going to watch the Kings tonight. It gets wonkier, I've got them winning, straight up. It's the least I can do after twice suggesting that I wasn't going to watch them play with the end result being that they won two exciting and offensive games. I'm on the King's Express tonight!

The Lakers will struggle this year on the 2nd night of back-to-back games and Tyreke Evans will blow by Derek Fisher all evening long. Let's Go Kings! Don't let me down Kings because there is also this...

One Game That If I Didn't Feel So Bad About Not Watching The Kings I'd Definitely Watch: Phoenix Suns Vs. San Antonio Spurs

These match ups are always battles because these teams hate each other. Look for Steve Nash to require some sort of organ transplant after being demolished by one of the Spurs and then come back right onto the court after receiving it. Duncan's good for 14 points and appearing as though his puppy was just recently hit by a car. The Suns look to get to .500 while the Spurs aim for 3-1. Expect Hedo to light it up tonight and for Phoenix to beat their Western Conference rivals.

One Game We Probably Won't Watch: Utah Jazz Vs. Toronto Raptors

What can I say? I understand that Deron Williams physically dominates opposing point guards but the Jazz have looked less than impressive in their first three games so far and to me it looks as if many of their problems are related to a lack of effort. Strange for a Jerry Sloan team. Toronto is also 1-2 and most likely won't put up a fight in Utah.

Weird how I didn't say I was watching either the Celtics or the Nets tonight.

No Regard Daily Preview: 10-28-10

Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Washington Wizards vs. Orlando MagicTonight marks the beginning of two eras in the Eastern Conference: the era of John Wall, and the era of Dwight Howard realizing he can fly and having a little self-respect. While Wall obviously has a lot to prove based on the lofty expectations that have been heaved his way for months, it may be Howard who will be watched most closely this game. As we noted in our Season Preview, it's just about do or die time for Howard to step up his post game and become the MVP-caliber player he physically has no right not to be. The East sure as shit isn't getting any weaker, aside from the gradual cellular decay of the Celtics, and Howard must be fully aware of how important it is for the Magic to prove this year that, Big Three be damned, they are team to beat not only in Florida, but in all the land. Personally, I think we're going to see a fierceness from this man that we've not seen before, and I greatly look forward to him owning the paint with an iron fist. A huge, Christian, iron fist.

This is not to say that I won't be loving every minute of watching John Wall begin his own reign of terror. With Gil's absence, Wall needs to make an instant claim to leadership of the Wizards, and even with a likely loss tonight, he has the chance to prove that there's no such thing as hyperbole when he is the subject of the conversation.


One Game We Probably Won't Watch Tonight: Phoenix Suns vs. Utah Jazz

It's nothing personal, Suns and Jazz. There are only two games tonight, and you know as well as I do that there's a hell of a lot more intrigue in the other one. That said, Nash vs. Williams is a consistently great point guard duel, and both these teams are trying to avoid an 0-2 start. I'm calling for a Jazz win in a high-scoring affair, leading Steve Nash to further consider his move to the MLS.

And for the record, duh, I'm going to watch some of this game tonight. It's the only 10:30 EST matchup, for Pete's sake! But I have to be at work early tomorrow, so I'll probably go to bed before it's over, thereby qualifying it as a game I probably won't watch (in its entirety). In other news, I really miss the Lawrence Welk show.

EndlessPat vs. PeteB11: Who Wore it Better?

If there is one thing that EndlessPat loves in this world, it is Jason Terry. If there is one thing PeteB11 loves in this world, it is the point where basketball and soccer intersect. If there is one thing I love in this world, it is turning things into competitions. Ball Don't Lie points us to two videos that prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that on some days, we can all be winners. BUT WHO WON TODAY BETTER??? (Note: I will leave it up to you to figure out which one is Charlize Theron at a Lakers game and which one is David Beckham at a Lakers game)

EndlessPat:



or PeteB11:

Steve Nash's Balls Violated By Hanes

Newish Hanes/Michael Jordan commercial that I just saw for the first time:



Look familiar? Yeah, Steve Nash probably thinks so too...

Team Dreamin' 2011: SUNS

At No Regard, we love basketball. We love the spectacle and strategy of the game, but sometimes the league's lack of imagination confounds and disappoints us. Call us optimists, visionaries, or kids who watched too much Space Jam, but we have ideas. Damn are we gonna share 'em.


Suns, we love you.

But who are you? You let all your children run away. And you had so many good children. Why did you pack their bags for them? With the amiable departure of Elijah and Leandro Barbosa this summer, Steve Nash is the only member left from the original Seven Seconds or Less squad. Your team's identity is being questioned, and if we've learned anything from "The Simpsons" (and we've learned so much from "The Simpsons"), we've learned that you need a soul to write your name in the condensation of ice cream freezers and history books. Look: I like off-season acquisitions Josh Childress, Hakim Warrick, and Hedo as much as the next blogger (I probably like Hedo more than most), but these three disparate role players will not pack a singular personality in the toiletry bags they bring to Phoenix; they will pack odd sizes for their positions and a touch more talent than you thought they had. But nothing more.

Suns, we mourn you.

But we've hatched a plan for you. We promise it will get people excited about your team again, let them know who you are, and in the process show you who you are.

Steve Nash should retire from the NBA. Wait for it...

100 Reasons to Watch the NBA This Season, Part 2

Reason #78: To Learn What it Means to be Born Ready.

We told you this would happen. To celebrate our first 100 posts, we're giving back. We've put together 100 reasons to watch this season. Consider these a mouthwash for this off-season of stink. Some can be considered predictions, some are sure things, and some may just be hopes that will fade before the schedule is even released. Whatever the case, read them all and get excited again. Remember, reasons #101 through infinity belong in the comments section. Don't know if you can tell, but we're excited to finally be able to watch some ball.

80. The Van Gundy Bros.
The best, right? Stan got an early start voicing his legendary brand of displeasure, talking serious trash about how the slumber party kids handled this off-season. Jeff is creeping towards Barkley status with some of the gems that come out of his mouth during games.

79. Jews!
Omri Casspi! Jordan Farmar, kind of! Amar'e Stoudemire, or something! Whatever. Even 1 3/4 Jewish players is pretty solid for the NBA.

78. To Learn What it Means to be Born Ready.
Lance Stephenson will make an impact, we promise. Please believe us.

77. Whatever Publicity Stunt David Stern Pulls Before the Season Starts.
He's already hit us with the dress code and that weird ball that was used for half a season, but look out for something bigger this year. With the league enjoying unprecedented off-season attention for all the wrong reasons, look for the Commish to rip the focus back to the game. New flopping rules, perhaps?

76. Death Knell of a Darling.
The Hawks will probably ride their post-season anti-momentum and be bad, like sideshow bad. Lazy, complacent, and selfish, they’ll be exponentially worse if they sign Shaq. But here's hoping these one-time League Pass heroes flame out as spectacularly as they entered.