NBA Happy Hour: 100 Reasons Inception-Meta-Edition

TGIF basketball fans! It's the end of the week, so that means NBA Happy Hour! Grab a beer, follow the rules and start the weekend with a Don Nelson-level buzz.


Hopefully, you have been following our week-long series on the top 100 reasons to watch the NBA this season. If not, right now is the absolute most perfect time for you to go back and catch up. Once you've read through, we'd like to invite you to participate in this week's Happy Hour Drinking Game. And boy, it's a doozy.

That's right, today's Happy Hour is based on our very own list of 100 Reasons! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we just got all dream-within-a-dream on your ass! Is this brash? Maybe. But looking back, we've noticed some patterns in our list, and we think it would be fun if we pointed them out to you and got you drunk on them. So read the list again AND...

100 Reasons to Watch the NBA This Season, Part 5

Reason #12: Just Wright on DVD

We told you this would happen. To celebrate our first 100 posts, we're giving back. We've put together 100 reasons to watch this season. Consider these a mouthwash for this off-season of stink. Some can be considered predictions, some are sure things, and some may just be hopes that will fade before the schedule is even released. Whatever the case, read them all and get excited again. Remember, reasons #101 through infinity belong in the comments section. Don't know if you can tell, but we're excited to finally be able to watch some ball.

20. LBJ in MIA.
Because with his decision, he made sure that everyone else will be watching.

20a. Rick Ross as Miami’s #1 Superfan

“God is great. It's over for the next decade, baby. 305. Wade County. Chris Bosh. The King James. And it's gonna be Ricky Rozay on the wood; I ain't in the stands, I'm on the wood. I'm at all the games, baby. Maybach Music. I'm on Miami Heat now. Miami Heat, let's go, baby. 305, Wade County." – The Teflon Don

20b. Heat vs. Threepeat.

Bitch and moan all you want, but this could be a Finals without precedent. Pat Riley vs. Phil Jackson? LeBron vs. Kobe? Lazers vs. Missles? This has everything you could want in the finals other than fairness. We wouldn’t be surprised if ABC spaces out the seven games to last all summer.

20c. Puppets.

Does Bron lose his now? Does Wade get one? Can Dwight please get one?

20d. The South Beach Connection.

Wade/Bron alley-oops. We know a lot of people are ready to root against them and all, but Jesus...

20e. The Chalk.

Does Bron continue to throw the chalk at the start of games or do his address and number changes bring the end of his pre-game ritual? If he does do it next year, do his two besties join? Does he do it in Cleveland? If he does it in Cleveland, do the fans throw tomatoes at him?

20f. The Return of "Fun" LeBron.

Say what you will about Miami, but one thing for which the deal gives us great hope is a newly loose LBJ. When he plays with friends, he has fun and we see things like this.

20g. The NWO Comparisons.

We all finally have a legitimate excuse to pinpoint WWF doppelgangers for every NBA player. Thanks South Beach!

20h. A Triple-Double Season.

While it's highly unlikely, this is the best chance we'll likely ever have. But even if he does pull it off, do any of us know how to interpret it at this point?

20i. This Alleged Bosh-Wade Documentary.

Just…what the hell guys?

100 Reasons to Watch the NBA This Season, Part 4

Reason # 27: Scalabrine's High Fives.

We told you this would happen. To celebrate our first 100 posts, we're giving back. We've put together 100 reasons to watch this season. Consider these a mouthwash for this off-season of stink. Some can be considered predictions, some are sure things, and some may just be hopes that will fade before the schedule is even released. Whatever the case, read them all and get excited again. Remember, reasons #101 through infinity belong in the comments section. Don't know if you can tell, but we're excited to finally be able to watch some ball.

40. New Dynamic Duos.

Most notably, Tyreke Evans and DeMarcus Cousins in Sacramento and Derrick Rose and Carlos Boozer in Chicago. These two teams might be playing against each other in the 2015 Finals, and if so, these combos will have a lot to do with it. Then we've got possible bringers of chaos in Curry and Lee in Golden State, Williams and Al Jefferson in Utah, and Wall and McGee in Washington.

39. The Other Gasol.

Big Marc really came into his own last year, unfortunately he suffers that same sad fate known too all well to Grizzlies, if a tree falls in Memphis, will anyone be there to hear it?

38. Stories of Rudy Gay and Joe Johnson Spending Money.

These two signed contracts for so much money for being not superstars. It would be rude them to not let us hear how they're spending it.

37. Jason Kidd is Aging Backwards

He might actually be getting better, adding a legit jump shot to his game this year and still quarterbacking his ass off. Someone should tell him that's not how aging works. Wait, actually don't.

36. Tracy McGrady's Graceful Exit Begins.

With Iverson and Shaq making sure we all understand their lack of self-awareness, we really, really hope that T-Mac can accept a smaller role. As NBA fans in our mid-20s, we want to have fond final memories of some of our heroes.

100 Reasons to Watch the NBA This Season, Part 3

Reason #53: More Craig Sager.

We told you this would happen. To celebrate our first 100 posts, we're giving back. We've put together 100 reasons to watch this season. Consider these a mouthwash for this off-season of stink. Some can be considered predictions, some are sure things, and some may just be hopes that will fade before the schedule is even released. Whatever the case, read them all and get excited again. Remember, reasons #101 through infinity belong in the comments section. Don't know if you can tell, but we're excited to finally be able to watch some ball.

60. Captain Jack is Back.

Nine months after relinquishing his title in the Bay Area, Stephen Jackson is once again a Team Captain. If you doubt the importance of this development, please see here and here.

59. Allen Iverson Hot Potato.

Once again, some hapless team is going to take The Answer against their better judgement. As soon as they grab him they'll learn that A.I. scalds badly, taking off three layers of skin and any short-term playoff hopes they may have.

58. FreeDarko.

Still crazy after all these years, and some of the best character analysis there is in this league. We should also mention that their book The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History is out November 9th. We’ll be pre-ordering the shit out of that shit.

57. Freed Darko.

Speaking of everybody’s favorite Serbian punching bag, the T-Wolves expressed an unprecedented amount of faith in Big D this offseason, handing him 20 million for 4 years.

56. Big Baby Dances With Himself.

Obviously he can teach you how to Dougie, but he's got so much more to unleash. With the swagger he gained in the playoffs, we're sure to see something special this year.

100 Reasons to Watch the NBA This Season, Part 2

Reason #78: To Learn What it Means to be Born Ready.

We told you this would happen. To celebrate our first 100 posts, we're giving back. We've put together 100 reasons to watch this season. Consider these a mouthwash for this off-season of stink. Some can be considered predictions, some are sure things, and some may just be hopes that will fade before the schedule is even released. Whatever the case, read them all and get excited again. Remember, reasons #101 through infinity belong in the comments section. Don't know if you can tell, but we're excited to finally be able to watch some ball.

80. The Van Gundy Bros.
The best, right? Stan got an early start voicing his legendary brand of displeasure, talking serious trash about how the slumber party kids handled this off-season. Jeff is creeping towards Barkley status with some of the gems that come out of his mouth during games.

79. Jews!
Omri Casspi! Jordan Farmar, kind of! Amar'e Stoudemire, or something! Whatever. Even 1 3/4 Jewish players is pretty solid for the NBA.

78. To Learn What it Means to be Born Ready.
Lance Stephenson will make an impact, we promise. Please believe us.

77. Whatever Publicity Stunt David Stern Pulls Before the Season Starts.
He's already hit us with the dress code and that weird ball that was used for half a season, but look out for something bigger this year. With the league enjoying unprecedented off-season attention for all the wrong reasons, look for the Commish to rip the focus back to the game. New flopping rules, perhaps?

76. Death Knell of a Darling.
The Hawks will probably ride their post-season anti-momentum and be bad, like sideshow bad. Lazy, complacent, and selfish, they’ll be exponentially worse if they sign Shaq. But here's hoping these one-time League Pass heroes flame out as spectacularly as they entered.

100 Reasons to Watch the NBA This Season, Part 1

Reason #97: The Taco Bell NBA Big Box Commercial

We told you this would happen. To celebrate our first 100 posts, we're giving back. We've put together 100 reasons to watch this season. Consider these a mouthwash for this off-season of stink. Some can be considered predictions, some are sure things, and some may just be hopes that will fade before the schedule is even released. Whatever the case, read them all and get excited again. Remember, reasons #101 through infinity belong in the comments section. Don't know if you can tell, but we're excited to finally be able to watch some ball.

100. To Witness Second Chances.
Can underachieving talents like Michael Beasley and Greg Oden find a whole new NBA life in their respective change of scenery and relative health? Or will they continue to fall short of expectations?

99. Speaking of Second Chances, Gil.
Can our man use the beginning of the John Wall era to bring him back to some of his wild, unpredictable, unstoppable glory? It could be tough for him to give up the team, but if he's smart, he'll allow Wall to be his redeemer.

98. Barack Obama.
With his Bulls primed to make a real run in the East, expect to hear more of 44's thoughts on the NBA. And let's hope so, because dude needs something to take his mind off things for a minute.

97. The Taco Bell NBA Big Box Commercial.
We hope we get new versions of this commercial, but if it doesn't return, no worries. We're sure to get some ad that's just as harmlessly enjoyable and forever goofy in its place.

100 And Rising

No Regard, this bountiful website you're reading right now, started out as a pretty inebriated mass text message. Just a blink of an idea emitted to some friends while riding a rickety gypsy bus into Manhattan on a nondescript late summer night in 2009. While it took us a while to get here, we're pleased to say that those radio waves have transformed into a real(ish) website, and this brief message marks post #100.

To celebrate this modest milestone, we're going to hit you all with something pretty cool next week.