NBA Middle Names: Metta World Peace!

We at No Regard spend a lot of time in our NBA knitting circles trying to figure out the human side of these players. Whether it's musing about their commutes to work, how much "Call of Duty" they play, or what their favorite snack food is, we like to remind ourselves that NBA players are nothing more than young men with enviable jobs. What better way to humanize our heroes than look up their middle names?

Metta World Peace!

Take that, Ochocinco

We don't throw the phrase "the gift that keeps on giving" around too often these days at No Regard. But then again, it's rare that one of our heroes does something so remarkable, so inspiring, so downright revolutionary that we find ourselves completely overwhelmed with pure ecstasy. If you've been "living in the real world and paying attention to things that effect people's well-being" the past couple of weeks, blasting your iPod at full volume and haven't heard: Ron Artest is hoping to legally change his name to Metta World Peace.

NBA Middle Names: Ron Artest

We at No Regard spend a lot of time in our NBA knitting circles trying to figure out the human side of these players. Whether it's musing about their commutes to work, how much "Call of Duty" they play, or what their favorite snack food is, we like to remind ourselves that NBA players are nothing more than young men with enviable jobs. What better way to humanize our heroes than look up their middle names?

Ronald William Artest

Happy 6th Birthday, Malice in the Palace

On November 19th in 2004, Ron Artest was lying down on the scorers table after an altercation with Ben Wallace and other Pistons players. While peacefully abstaining from the pushing and shoving going on around him, Artest got hit by a cup of liquid thrown by a Detroit Piston fan named John Green. The rest is history.

I'll never forget where I was while I watched the chaos that ensued between the NBA players and fans thereafter. Never.

King of the World

By now, you've probably all seen Artest's amazing quote from ESPN the Magazine about his favorite movie. But my favorite part of the interview is when he is asked where he's most at peace:

"At the beach. Man, give me a mango drink, some sand, that water, and it's all good. I love running in the sand. But sometimes I'm scared as hell of water. Whenever I'm out there, I'm thinking, 'Damn, some tidal wave is about to come!' Okay, so maybe I'm not totally at peace at the beach."

See! This is why we love him! He has just as much anxiety about unlikely death scenarios as the rest of us! Neurotic athletes: they're just like us!

If You See Something, Say Something

IYSSSS is our semi-regular internet intelligence report, a liberal arts approach to following the NBA on the Web. E-mail us at jewsforjesusshuttlesworth@gmail.com if you've got any suggestions.

Yahoo Sports: It's a full time job keeping track of Dwight Howard this off-season. Here is a delightful photo gallery of his recent escapades at an EA Sports press event in Taiwan.

Fuck Yeah Lakers: Ron Artest plays dodgeball. With Hipsters.  To sum it up: He plays defense, giggles, gets thrown out, giggles some more.

Justin Bieber Zone (Yeah, What Up?): Biebs goes bowling with Shaq. 'Nuff said.

Hooped Up Online: Carlos Arroyo does his best Three Stooges impression.

Brain On Funk: Doc Funk puts the boondoggle that was free agency into perspective for us.

NBA Fanhouse: Team USA serenades Gerald Wallace. Odom demonstrates why his new nickname is "Giggles." Then, back to stretching.

100 Reasons to Watch the NBA This Season, Part 1

Reason #97: The Taco Bell NBA Big Box Commercial

We told you this would happen. To celebrate our first 100 posts, we're giving back. We've put together 100 reasons to watch this season. Consider these a mouthwash for this off-season of stink. Some can be considered predictions, some are sure things, and some may just be hopes that will fade before the schedule is even released. Whatever the case, read them all and get excited again. Remember, reasons #101 through infinity belong in the comments section. Don't know if you can tell, but we're excited to finally be able to watch some ball.

100. To Witness Second Chances.
Can underachieving talents like Michael Beasley and Greg Oden find a whole new NBA life in their respective change of scenery and relative health? Or will they continue to fall short of expectations?

99. Speaking of Second Chances, Gil.
Can our man use the beginning of the John Wall era to bring him back to some of his wild, unpredictable, unstoppable glory? It could be tough for him to give up the team, but if he's smart, he'll allow Wall to be his redeemer.

98. Barack Obama.
With his Bulls primed to make a real run in the East, expect to hear more of 44's thoughts on the NBA. And let's hope so, because dude needs something to take his mind off things for a minute.

97. The Taco Bell NBA Big Box Commercial.
We hope we get new versions of this commercial, but if it doesn't return, no worries. We're sure to get some ad that's just as harmlessly enjoyable and forever goofy in its place.

NBA Happy Hour: Ron Artest (Obviously)

[Photo courtesy TMZ, if you couldn't tell.]

TGIF basketball fans! It's the end of the week, so that means NBA Happy Hour! Grab a beer, follow the rules and start the weekend with a Don Nelson-level buzz.

We couldn't have gotten two greater gifts for the inaugural "NBA Happy Hour" post. Watch the two following videos in order and...

Drink any time:

The Blessing

The Glory

Game 7 Preview: One to Ring

Here we are, a few hours away from the end of the 2009-2010 NBA season. What to say, what to say? How about I let Ron Artest explain the particulars [from J.A. Andande's ESPN piece]:

"We're the last two teams left in a Game 7," Artest said. "It's amazing."

It's the first seventh game in the NBA Finals since the San Antonio Spurs beat the Detroit Pistons in 2005.

"Really?" Artest said. "Seven? The Pistons? To Game 7? That was probably pretty intense. Was it in San Antonio?"

What exactly does Ron Artest know? Nevermind.

I guess the stale question is this: How did we get here? I honestly don't know. The regular season ended so long ago I don't actually remember anything from it other than what other writers say happened. But while what goes down in the regular season doesn't always carry into the playoffs, what happens in the playoffs most certainly carries into the following regular season. But does it extend further than that? Does one game change legacies?

If You See Something, Say Something: Finals Game 7 Preview

Photo: Marcel Mutoni

Marcel Mutoni's Twitpics: Amazing, amazing pictures from press day at the Staples Center. Like Pau taking an escalator. Or Rondo's slippers (up top).

Rajon Rondo Twitter: Getting excited...

TrueHoop: Phil Jackson makes his players meditate before games. It's like he read a biography of himself and thought, "I wonder how Phil Jackson would prepare his players for big games... Oh, mediation. I'm a caricature of myself." Interesting read nonetheless.

Slam Online: A slew of rambunctious quotes from the players. Can't decide if Artest or Baby wins here. Baby: “We were the prey (in Game 6), and they ate us real bad.” Artest: “I don’t notice the crowd. Definitely not when I’m out there playing.”

Charles Oakley Twitter: Oak speaks that Carl Weathers. Admittedly, this one isn't about game 7. Can't win them all.

Say Queensbridge

"'Five Dollar Foot-long' is one of the best songs. That's a hot song. You've got the FreeCreditReport.com, and then 'Five Dollar Foot-long' comes on. When 'Five Dollar Foot-long' comes on, they should play that in the club. They should play all those in the club." -Ron Artest

When Jason Richardson watched Kobe's airball for a second too long, allowing an offensive rebound and put-back, killing the Suns for the summer, I sent a text message to a few people: "At least it was Artest." If the only team left worth rooting for was going to get the boot, best by the hand of the NBA's mad prince.

That phrase—"At least it's Artest"—sums up my feelings on these finals. Because there's not a finals match-up that I could imagine being less pleased with. I've never been able to contextualize history, so the "classic rivalry" angle leaves me limp. And I get that it's "good for the league" and whatever else you want to "put inside quotes," but watching two teams that always win battle to see who can win again is awful. Depressing stats: Only eight different teams have won a championship since 1980; the Lakers or Celtics have won 13 times in those 30 years and at least one of the two teams has appeared in 17 of those finals.

They are both detestable, but the Lakers are the team to root for here. Why?