Game 7 Preview: One to Ring

Here we are, a few hours away from the end of the 2009-2010 NBA season. What to say, what to say? How about I let Ron Artest explain the particulars [from J.A. Andande's ESPN piece]:

"We're the last two teams left in a Game 7," Artest said. "It's amazing."

It's the first seventh game in the NBA Finals since the San Antonio Spurs beat the Detroit Pistons in 2005.

"Really?" Artest said. "Seven? The Pistons? To Game 7? That was probably pretty intense. Was it in San Antonio?"

What exactly does Ron Artest know? Nevermind.

I guess the stale question is this: How did we get here? I honestly don't know. The regular season ended so long ago I don't actually remember anything from it other than what other writers say happened. But while what goes down in the regular season doesn't always carry into the playoffs, what happens in the playoffs most certainly carries into the following regular season. But does it extend further than that? Does one game change legacies?

Question of the Day

What are the chances of this man winning the 2010 Finals MVP? Seriously. They're not zero, right?

League Changes Playoff Format, Finals Game 7 to be a Beer Pong Tournament

Thursday, June 17 - In a shocking break from precedent, the NBA announced late Wednesday that they would be changing the format of their playoff system effective immediately. With just one game remaining to decide the 2009-2010 League Champion, the questions were many. At a press conference late last night, Commissioner David Stern tried to assuage frantic members of the media:

"We have been discussing the need for a change in the format of playoff basketball for quite some time now and we feel that there is no better time to implement it than now."

The uproar was immediate, but Stern persisted. "Look, we've figured out that the game is just way too difficult to officiate. The players get too intense and it ends up being a situation where nobody's having fun, and the losing team gets really bummed out. We've figured out a way for everyone to win. Plus, we're tired of everyone getting mad at us."

When asked if this decision was related to the frequency of the Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers competing in the Finals, Stern was vague. "My interest in this series has been lackluster. One of our summer interns actually proposed the idea for the change, and it sounded fun to see this settled differently this year."

Speculation is rampant given the drastic nature of these changes. Starting lineups are up in the air as coaches scramble to assess players' ability and tolerance for alcohol. Rumors from the Celtics camp are beginning to surface, and it is heavily suspected that Brian Scalabrine will be relied upon as the Boston's primary scoring option. Glen "Big Baby" Davis, exposed recently as a drool liability, may be declared inactive due to health concerns. Rajon Rondo, allegedly uninterested in recreational drinking, has asked Doc Rivers if he may be excused from competition to practice behind-the-back passes.

When asked some hard-hitting questions regarding the integrity of professional basketball and the league's youth-friendly image, Stern was ornery. "Listen pal, why don't we just wait and see how this goes." The commissioner then tried to go off the record to allege that he was "Pretty buzzed right now."

Tonight will be a different game. How will it go? Who will win? Will a new Finals MVP emerge? Post your comments below.

Finals Game 4: Babys R Us

"Because this is what legends are made of. This is where you grasp the moment. Immortality. This is all you can do right now." -Glen Davis

The ravings of a madman are perhaps all that can be used to describe this game. Everything about it seemed backwards. Despite being completely outplayed, the Celtics snuck past the Lakers and tied up the Finals. Their salvation did not come from men nicknamed Jesus or Truth, but rather from the one they call Big Baby, and a sidekick who coincidentally looks like a Baby.

For the most part, this game looked like it was was being played on a Tuesday night in December. With the exception of Kobe, the entire Lakers squad seemed to want to excuse themselves for the evening. They passed too much, shot too little, and seemed to hope someone else would win the game for them. Well some other guys did win the game, but they were wearing green.

Going into this series I assumed we'd eventually see a night where the Big 3 crumbled and Rondo went limp and Sheed locked himself in foul jail. What I would not have guessed is that the dynamic duo surfacing to spearhead the effort to win this game would have been Glen Davis and Nate Robinson. It was a remarkable sight to behold, and their post-game interviews are among my favorite things to come out of this finals so far. Davis grimaced at the microphone, concentrating so hard, as though he'd practiced this speech (the nonsense in italics above) since he was a kid. When Nate came on, he had a towel rolled around his neck and tucked into his shirt the way my mom used to do when I got out of swim lessons. The absolute jubilation in their faces won me over. I forgot entirely that before last night I'd really only mildly disliked these two players.

There may very well never be a night like that again. Nate and Baby will not be tearing it up anytime soon, the Lakers are never caught sleeping twice. The Big Four were given a pass last night, but on Sunday they'll be back in LA, and naptime will be over.

Say Queensbridge

"'Five Dollar Foot-long' is one of the best songs. That's a hot song. You've got the FreeCreditReport.com, and then 'Five Dollar Foot-long' comes on. When 'Five Dollar Foot-long' comes on, they should play that in the club. They should play all those in the club." -Ron Artest

When Jason Richardson watched Kobe's airball for a second too long, allowing an offensive rebound and put-back, killing the Suns for the summer, I sent a text message to a few people: "At least it was Artest." If the only team left worth rooting for was going to get the boot, best by the hand of the NBA's mad prince.

That phrase—"At least it's Artest"—sums up my feelings on these finals. Because there's not a finals match-up that I could imagine being less pleased with. I've never been able to contextualize history, so the "classic rivalry" angle leaves me limp. And I get that it's "good for the league" and whatever else you want to "put inside quotes," but watching two teams that always win battle to see who can win again is awful. Depressing stats: Only eight different teams have won a championship since 1980; the Lakers or Celtics have won 13 times in those 30 years and at least one of the two teams has appeared in 17 of those finals.

They are both detestable, but the Lakers are the team to root for here. Why?