No Regard Presidential Previews: Los Angeles Clippers (Bill Clinton)

Oh the season. Oh the season! Election or NBA, both are upon us. We're getting into the spirit by bringing you our season previews (with a little help from the presidents). One per day for the next 30 days—which will bring us to the Day of Reckoning. So please join us on the campaign trail as we shake hands, kiss babies and sink jumpers.

“I may not have been the greatest president, but I had the most fun eight years.” - Bill Clinton

A young, charismatic democrat took office, leading the country into a new era of Cool. The budget was balanced, new social programs were enacted and the United States enjoyed its longest period of peacetime economic expansion. Bill Clinton's presidency was a fun time to be an American, and Bill was a solid President as long as you can look past a couple glaring personal controversies, none of which really had anything to do with his political acumen.

The Lob City Clippers are one of the most electrifying teams in the NBA. Chris Paul and Blake Griffin are the league's most fun alley-oop combination. Griffin is a fan favorite and stars in nearly as many commercials as Peyton Manning. Chauncey Billups returns this year and Lamar Odom brings a lot to the table as well. The forest is wonderful to look at, but some of the trees are troublesome. 

Having a team with Chris Paul and Blake Griffin on it sure is exciting, but like a certain impeachment following an improper relationship with dear old Monica Lewinsky, one must not forget the questionable dealings that sent CP3 to the Staples Center in the first place. A fairly equitable trade of Paul to the Lakers was vetoed by none other than David J. Stern, and within the week, CP3 moved to LA's former redheaded stepchild franchise. Lob City was born. 

Other non-political concerns about our sax-playing, NAFTA-signing, Welfare-reforming 42nd President include the Whitewater controversy and the essentially forgotten Gennifer Flowers and Paula Jones maybe-affairs. Similarly, it seems NBA fans at large have forgotten that Clippers owner Donald Sterling is a racist slumlord and that Lamar Odom basically sulked his way through last season for the Mavericks before being cut, electing to keep a completely unearned $8 million. Neither of these things should affect how the Clips play this year, and just as Clinton left office with the highest approval rating ever despite being impeached, the Clippers are selling out road games and are among the league's most fun franchises. The future is bright for the "other" LA team, so long as Griffin's knees fare better than the tech bubble at the tail end of the Clinton years.

Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers

Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Hitmonlee

Headline we'll be most sick of reading: “Will Blake Griffin Make 'The Leap'?”

Headline we're most looking forward to: “Lamar Odom Smacked in Face by Mark Cuban Following Road Loss to Mavericks”

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: “This place just got way cooler.”

No Regard Recap: Parsons The New School for Dunks

One Game We Watched Last Night: Los Angeles Clippers vs. Houston Rockets

Clippers: 117, Rockets: 89

Notching what was undoubtedly their most impressive performance in the CP3 era, the Clippers were piping hot in a dominating victory against the Kevin McHale led Rockets. Sparked by a 41 point first quarter, Lob City was on full display as Blake and company spent the majority of the evening with their genitals far above the rim. When we heard that Chris Paul had been traded to the Clippers we were tickled, mainly because it gave them another player on their roster with two first names, but also because of that whole alley-oop business. Last night, we got what we came for.

As for the Rockets, the bright note is Chandler Parsons. The rookie from Florida tallied 8 boards, 11 points and one highlight dunk over Blake in a solid effort off the bench. NBA you have been warned, Chandler Parsons is a bad man.

One Game We Didn't Watch Last Night: Dallas Mavericks vs. Phoenix Suns

Mavericks: 98, Suns: 89

Considering Dirk played in his 1,000th career NBA game and Nash scored his 10,000 NBA point, it seems pretty rude that neither posted anything on twitter about where they ended up after the game. All we got from Steve was, "Tough loss. Great to have @DA_Finster in the building! Hope he gets on a team soon. Need a win Friday planet orange!!" And absolutely nothing from Nowitzki. Really ridiculous. We don't throw around the words "selfish" and "fake" very often on this Website, but seriously guys? Not even an, "Out with Steve after our win, should be interesting," from @swish41? What good is 2012 if you can't find out via the Internet where people you've never meet before, yet are oddly obsessed with, are drinking liquor?

Question(s) of the Day: LA Edition

NBA fans everywhere got out of bed this morning, barrelled down their stairs, and barked out a joyous,"Yipeee!" as they started their day. Word that Chris Paul would be joining the Clip Show broke late last night and dreaming of him paired alongside Blake Griffin is about as appetizing as it gets to the NBA geek and casual fan alike. To celebrate, we've compiled a list of questions that came to mind when we heard the news. Please note that these questions regard not only the Clippers but the entire Los Angeles basketball scene:

If You See Something, Say Something: Bullies, Bibby and Starbury For Life!

IYSSSS is our semi-regular internet intelligence report, a liberal arts approach to following the NBA on the Web. E-mail us at jewsforjesusshuttlesworth@gmail.com if you've got any suggestions.

Starbury Dominating Life in China: Fear not, Stephon Marbury lovers, the former Lincoln High School superstar is having his cake on the other side of the world, and crushing it too. According to William Rhoden's New York Times piece, Steph writes for a local paper, is a therapist to the other American players in China, is at peace with his life, and has an amazing apartment. All while averaging 22.3 points per game and leading the Beijing Ducks to an undefeated season to date. Get some, Steph.

David Stern Demands Lunch Money: According to this ESPN.com article, Deron Williams isn't so fond of the commissioner's propensity to give wedgies, push other kids on the playground and smoke cigarettes on school grounds. "You're fighting a bully, man. David Stern is a bully," the superstar guard stated when asked about the Chris Paul situation. Williams did confirm, though, that he does have at least one ally at school: "But I have friends, like, Dwight's my friend, so if I wanna call him and talk to him, I'm gonna call him and talk to him."

No Regard Staffer Joins Knicks!: Popular NBA blogger Mike Bibby has a new team and a fresh start in New York City. The former member of the Grizzles, Kings, Hawks, Wizards and Heat stated that he's "always wanted to play for Mike D'Antoni," in this YouTube video. We couldn't be happier for our special little guy and we expect to hear from the man himself soon!

Clippers Seeking CP3 For Two Reasons: With the Lakers no longer in play, the Clip Show is apparently doing its best to land the most wanted point guard in the league, according to this NBA.com article. If you like players with two first names and alley-oops, check out the 2011-2012 Los Angeles Clippers!

No Regard Daily Previews: 11-15-10

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight:
Dallas Mavericks vs. New Orleans Hornets

Perhaps the two largest surprises so far this season have been the mediocre Miami Heat and the perfect New Orleans Hornets. What's made CP3 and the gang so good so far this year? First, CP3 himself, quite obviously. With injuries cutting short his minutes last year, Paul looks like a rejuvenated man playing as if he's got something to prove. Maybe all the attention Rondo received after his playoff performance last spring pissed Paul off and he's taking it out on opposing defenses, hoping to show once again that he's the alpha dog of NBA PG's. Whatever the case may be, Chris Paul is back this year, in a big way.

Team Dreamin' 2011: New Orleans Hornets

The New Orleans Hornets dodged a bullet this offseason when Chris Paul decided to stay put. Like Carmelo Anthony, Paul has sometimes seemed less than thrilled with his situation, and for a while toward the beginning of summer, it certainly seemed as though he were going to force a trade situation. Now, with the season here, it looks like the Hornets have managed to secure their star point guard for the upkeeping season. But how can they keep him happy until after the 2011-2012 season, when his contract expires, and even beyond? How can they become a winning team that any star would want to play for?

Fantasy Voyage: So it Begins

If you hadn't already guessed it, we here at No Regard are pretty heavy into fantasy basketball. Throughout the season, we'll take the occasional moment to ignore real-life NBA implications and take a look at things from an IFL (In Fantasy Life) perspective.

For this first edition of Fantasy Voyage, we'd like to throw a question out there: Should Kevin Durant be the unanimous #1 pick going into this season? We're pretty positive he's got the scoring title on lock, but do LeBron's new surrounding weapons make him an even more dangerous fantasy option? What about CP3 and Kobe?

If you are fortunate enough to get that top spot, what are you doing?

Top 5 Player Tweets of the Week - In Pictures!

From Skillanueva's half-time tweets to Gil's fateful outburst, we're keeping tabs on this whole Twitter thing. Each week we wade through the rants, shout outs and sheer insanity to bring you the best micro-blogging the NBA has to offer.

5. "AIRPLANE MODE BACK TO LA!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

- James Harden

4. "I call a pretty girl a "Fox", I say "jive" a lot, I call the police the "fuzz"....& I'm calm all the time. My shii is so 70s. #CatdaddyFresh"

- Chris Dougey-Roberts

NBA Happy Hour: No Draft Necessary

TGIF basketball fans! It's the end of the week, so that means NBA Happy Hour! Grab a beer, follow the rules and start the weekend with a Don Nelson-level buzz.

Everyone is talking about a point guard today, so we figured what the hell.  No, not Chris Paul.  Not right now anyway, Friday is time to get happy-drunk, and if the last month has proven anything, there are no two words that can kill a buzz faster than Maverick and Carter.

Instead we looked back on the week to the story that made us happiest: the Golden State Warriors signed undrafted rookie point guard Jeremy Lin.

Most of you know Lin’s story by now, a Bay Area native and lifelong Warriors fan, he played ball at Harvard and managed to impress the right people in his summer league matchup against John Wall.  Much hoopla is being made about his race and education, both obvious rarities in the League, but few have had asked after his eating habits, favorite actress, or the items on his bucket list.  Well, some did, and it was charming and a bit confusing.  Cheers, Jeremy.

Drink Anytime:

We Got Now

As a fan of the NBA during the inception of the WNBA, I specifically remember one of their earliest advertising slogans, "We got next." Fair enough. Whose got now then? The golden-era of current point guards in the NBA, that's who.

Question of the Day

Chris Paul's name is spilling out of Worldwide Wes' Rocawear bag today. According to Wes, if you want to sign LeBron James, it would help if you had Chris Paul. Yes, in pursuit of LeBron, it would be beneficial if you had the best point guard in the world on your team who also happens to be one of Bron's best friends. Also, there will be weather today, and always just be willing to trade for great players if you're a GM. It's a disappointingly tepid "news" story on the precipice of a free agency period that's supposed to resemble a vintage Twisted Metal death match. I though things were going to get crazy.

So, question: As we near July 1, will the free agency rumors and news become increasing believable and boring, or can we expect unreliable sources like Charles Oakley's Twitter account to keep the carnival atmosphere alive?