No Regard Presidential Previews: Utah Jazz (George H. W. Bush)

Oh the season. Oh the season! Election or NBA, both are upon us. We're getting into the spirit by bringing you our season previews (with a little help from the presidents). One per day for the next 30 days—which will bring us to the Day of Reckoning. So please join us on the campaign trail as we shake hands, kiss babies and sink jumpers.

"We are not the sum of our possessions." - George H. W. Bush

The Jazz are very promising, but as of three weeks ago, a group of nine NBA fanatics in Brooklyn struggled to name the team’s two starting guards.

“Mo Williams!” someone shouted after 90 seconds. Yes! We were progress embodied! Forward. Another 90 seconds; harder than we expected. We named Jeremy Evans, acknowledged Devin Harris’ departure and joked about John Stockton like a college sophomore at a Skidmore open mic night. Another two minutes and nothing. We moved on. Progress.

Look, I still haven’t looked up who that other starting guard is. I promise this is true. Also true is that while writing this, I’m listening to Drake’s “Miss Me” and Lil Wayne just said “Young Money Jerry Sloan.” *drops mic*

*picks up mic again because you came here to read a preview*

Bush 41 once referred to presidential foresight and overall plan as “the vision thing.” His non-strategy served him well for much of his career, but couldn’t get him a second term. Utah’s rushed plan to trade Deron Williams before he caused a scene and they lost him for nothing worked in the short term. But now they’re left with a thousand bigs (Jefferson, Favors, Kanter, Milsap) and Marvin Williams. If Kevin O'Connor can summon a touch of “the vision thing” and turn one or two of those tall guys into other, more form-fitting pieces, this team will get that second term and become a serious contender. If they don’t, then they might as well start building that presidential library of mediocrity. Which is fine too I guess. Not really going to lose any sleep over this.

Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers

Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Ninetales



Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Is Paul Milsap An All-Star?"

Headline we're most looking forward to: "Jerry Sloan Buys Season Courtside Seats, Heckles"

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "Ok, dish: What did Deron say to Jerry?"

Who'd You Get?!: Greg Ostertag, Upper Deck (1995)

We at No Regard used to collect basketball cards. Convincing a parent to shuttle us and our friends to the local collector's shop was a consistently important victory. When we found out KMart was selling entire boxes for $20, we almost wore out our bike tires pedaling back and forth.

Now we've unearthed the cache, and the results are stunning. We've been reminded that players named Dino Radja and Wesley Person briefly and forcefully carved out steady roles for themselves in the league. We've been straight tickled by the goofy casual pics. And we've been touched and inspired by the relentless optimism of the copywriters. We hope you enjoy this odd time capsule, a Utopian angle from which to view the league, where everyone is the next somebody and context is pointless.

Jerry Sloan Resigns

After 22 1/2 years of coaching the Utah Jazz, Jerry Sloan's tenure has ended. We look forward to reading all the "Here's a list of what's happened since Jerry Sloan started coaching the Jazz" blog posts. Good luck to assistant coach Tyrone Corbin, who will take over for Sloan, in running the Jazz's insanely complex "flex offense."

And most of all: Mr. Sloan, enjoy retirement!



"What A Sensible Man He Was. What A Marvelous Man He Was."

No Regard Daily Recap: Can There Really Be Only One?



Yeah, I know that's not Chris Paul on the far right, but 3/4s ain't bad.

One Game We Watched Last Night: New Orleans Hornets vs. Oklahoma City Thunder

Hornets: 89, Thunder: 95

And One Game We Couldn't Help But Watch For A Bit Because The Point Guards Are So Good: Milwaukee Bucks vs. Utah Jazz

Bucks: 88, Jazz: 109


Point guards are really all that matter anymore. We've known this for some time now, but every night in the 2010-2011 NBA season is a blinding reminder. When I look at the schedule each afternoon, it reads not as a collection of teams, but a table of point guards. That's why I was surprised yesterday when Adam picked the Utah-Milwaukee contest as the game we probably wouldn't watch. But that's Brandon Jennings against Deron Williams! I thought to myself. Then I read what Adam actually wrote, only to hear that the Bucks would be decimated by injury, surely leading to them start at least one dude who has no business in a starting line-up (that turned out to be Larry Sanders), and giving relatively big minutes to someone I've never heard of (a person named Jon Brockman played 19 minutes). Still, I couldn't help peeking in a few times to see the two guards hopscotch with one another—and to make sure Deron Williams' hair still looked like it came from The Fifth Element future.

The game I did watch from start to finish, though, was a point guard game of chicken. The quickest way to say it is that Russell Westbrook outplayed Chris Paul (not to mention his own teammate Kevin Durant) in the fourth quarter, positioning his team for the win.

The longer way to explain what happened is that the NBA has turned into Highlander for the league's best point guards. Each night the top guys try to decapitate whichever guard stands in their way, with the eventual goal of being the final immortal standing. Guys who would have done damage in years past—Jameer Nelson, Raymond Felton, and even Tyreke Evans after what Derrick Rose did to him the other night—look like they've never held a blade before. The 2010-2011 season is the time of The Gathering, folks.

You can tell Chris Paul is not pleased with any of this. He thought he's lobbed off enough heads a few years ago to be considered number one, but an ungodly influx of young new point guards has forced him to polish his blade and start slicing. (Interestingly enough, his sword kind of looks like a huge knee brace now.) Last night his craftiness was one quarter away from besting Westbrook's athleticism, but Westbrook took over in the fourth. No one man should have all that power those Cheetos.

No Regard Daily Preview: Starry West

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: New Orleans Hornets vs. Oklahoma City Thunder


When the season began, these two teams were in very different positions. The Thunder were the darlings of the basketball media and expectations were higher than for any team in the West that doesn't include Kobe Bryant. And while they haven't been bad, per se, their early season performance has been overshadowed by, among other teams, the New Orleans Hornets, who won their first eight games and 12 of their first 13. The Hornets have struggled a bit of late, losing to the shit-hot Spurs and Jazz and the shit Clippers. Tonight is a chance for the Hornets to get back on track and the Thunder to remind everyone that they're still the most exciting team that side of the Mississippi. This could be a preview of what would surely be a second round playoff match-up for the ages.


One Game We Probably Won't Watch Tonight: Milwaukee Bucks vs. Utah Jazz


The Bucks look to be shorthanded for a game that already seemed unlikely to go in their favor. With Carlos Delfino out and Andrew Bogut, Corey Maggette, and Drew Gooden all questionable, the Deer will be relying heavily on Brandon Jennings, who will be kept quite busy by Deron Williams. The Jazz have won five in a row. Don't look for that streak to come close to ending tonight. As a matter of fact, we're not going to look at all.

No Regard Daily Recap: 10-28-10

One Game We Watched Last Night: Washington Wizards vs. Orlando Magic


I knew the Wizards' team dynamic would be a little bizarre to start the season, but this was worse than I expected. Flip Saunders needs to be concerned not only about his offense clicking on just about zero cylinders, but about how quickly it took for John Wall to become visibly frustrated by the situation. You could feel the star rookie’s pain every time he drove to the basket and saw no one else making a move. He wanted to create plays, but it seemed like no one else wanted to be a part of them, and when they did, they were settling for mid-range jumpers that rarely fell. There were a couple positives here for the Wizards: one, that Wall, while a bit shaky, showed glimpses of his ability to get to the basket against any defender; another, that JaVale McGee and Yi Jianlian actually looked like an imposing frontcourt duo several times toward the end of the second quarter. But overall, you have to wonder how long it’s going to take for this team to come together with any sort of fluidity, and how the return of Gilbert Arenas will help and/or complicate that process.

Team Dreamin' 2011: Utah Jazz

At No Regard, we love basketball. We love the spectacle and strategy of the game, but sometimes the league's lack of imagination confounds and disappoints us. Call us optimists, visionaries, or kids who watched too much Space Jam, but we have ideas. Damn are we gonna share 'em.

This is a hard one. It's the Utah Jazz we're talking about here. Quite possibly the most vanilla franchise in the NBA, literally. They've had the same coach since the inception of their franchise, they've run the same pick-and-roll offense since the inception of their franchise, and with the exception of Karl Malone, they've drafted only white players since the inception of their franchise. To top it all off, they've decided that this year they are going back to their original logo, which depicts the classic Utah Jazz note.