No Regard Previews: Xs and Os

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Boston Celtics vs. New York Knicks

The last time these two basketball outfits met, the ball game ended in a chaotic mess. Carmelo Anthony alerted the NYPD and whoever else would listen that a citywide manhunt of Kevin Garnett must ensue. So tonight, one can only imagine that the majority of TNT's coverage will center around these two competitive gents. Will they shake hands? Will they fight? Will they kiss!?

But since we pride ourselves on ignoring all that silly stuff, instead focusing only on round ball tactics and nothing else here at No Regard I'll say this: Tonight's professional basketball bonanza presents a very serious contrast in basketball playing styles. 

The Knicks (a Manhattan-based, paid basketball squad) rely heavily on shots from far away that count for three points, three-pointers if you will, as well as chucked-up bombs from New Jersey native J.R. Smith. Smith may or may not close his eyes before he wings the orange sphere towards the cylinder. They also give opponents a heavy dose of Brooklyn-born Carmelo from Redhook, whose ability to score anywhere on the floor is the bee's knees. The Knickerbocker's are known to sprinkle in some high screen-and-rolls, too, arguably the most basic play in all of basketball plays.

Here's how it works: One player, usually a point-guard, (but in the modern NBA anything goes) bounces a ball into the floor while he waits for a bigger guy to get in the way of a guy wearing a different color tank top whose job it is to try and stop him from doing great stuff. Then, the player still pounding the leather thing into the court either drives hard to the rack, hoping to score, or passes the rock (slang for basketball) to the guy who was getting in the way a second ago. This guy is now headed to the hole himself. Complicated, but true.

The Celtics (a Boston-based, paid basketball group of men) put a strong emphasis on defensive stops, so that they can own the transition game. They also prefer mid-range jump shots preceded by penetration from their two best wing players, Rajon Rondo and Paul Pierce. Sometimes, this works, but other times the Celtics lack of offensive diversity leads them to get smoked by talentless hacks like Larry Frank's Pistons (a Detroit-based basketball franchise).

Whatever happens tonight, this much we know for certain: Grown men will box each other out. Millions will watch while consuming alcohol. Lord knows I'll have a pinot noir or two. 

One Game We Won't Watch Tonight: Orlando Magic vs. Toronto Raptors

Not to brag, but Andrew and I went to the Raptors-Nets game the other day in Brooklyn at Barclays Center (don't say the "The," they don't like it when you say "The Barclays Center"). It was the best day of our lives. I learned that Landry Fields makes a living playing guard for the Raptors now. Complicated, but true.

Anyway, nobody loves Big Baby Davis more than me, but I'll be watching the All-Star reserve announcements instead of taking this one in. So sue me if I would rather listen to Charles breakdown who got snubbed or whatever. It's a free country. Obama told me two days ago. 

Who'd You Get?!: Toronto Raptors, Upper Deck (1996)

We at No Regard used to collect basketball cards. Convincing a parent to shuttle us and our friends to the local collector's shop was a consistently important victory. When we found out KMart was selling entire boxes for $20, we almost wore out our bike tires pedaling back and forth.

Now we've unearthed the cache, and the results are stunning. We've been reminded that players named Dino Radja and Wesley Person briefly and forcefully carved out steady roles for themselves in the league. We've been straight tickled by the goofy casual pics. And we've been touched and inspired by the relentless optimism of the copywriters. We hope you enjoy this odd time capsule, a Utopian angle from which to view the league, where everyone is the next somebody and context is pointless.

 Back of the card after the jump.

No Regard Presidential Previews: Toronto Raptors (John Tyler)

Oh the season. Oh the season! Election or NBA, both are upon us. We're getting into the spirit by bringing you our season previews (with a little help from the presidents). One per day for the next 30 days—which will bring us to the Day of Reckoning. So please join us on the campaign trail as we shake hands, kiss babies and sink jumpers.

“Popularity, I have always thought, may aptly be compared to a coquette - the more you woo her, the more apt she is to elude your embrace.” - John Tyler

Upon the death of William Henry Harrison in 1841, "The Accidental President" took office before a cabinet and a congress that wasn't even sure if he should be there. Though he was key to the westward expansion of the country, John Tyler tried too hard to get respect by vetoing a Tariff bill and was the subject of impeachment proceedings. Unsurprisingly, Tyler was not re-elected.

In 1993 the NBA expanded to Canada, adding the Vancouver Grizzlies and Toronto Raptors. The name was selected in a naming contest and was rumored to be influenced by Jurrasic Park. The colors were purple, black, red and silver, which made just about as much sense as naming Isiah Thomas their first GM. They named Isiah Thomas their first GM. Their first expansion draft pick, BJ Armstrong, refused to report to camp and the team traded him. Their first-ever pick in the regular draft, Damon Stoudemire, was booed by Raptor fans at the draft, which was held at the Skydome in Toronto. He went on to become a member of the infamous Jailblazer teams in Portland.

Nineteen years later, not a ton has changed. The franchise killed off the purple in the uniforms and logo; the Vince Carter, Tracy McGrady and Chris Bosh Eras have come and gone; and the team is still named after the dinosaurs from Jurassic Park. There were a few playoff appearances, though the franchise has won only one playoff round, in 2001, before losing the infamous Vinsanity Graduation Day Game Seven against the 76ers. The Raptors won the draft lottery in 2006, selecting Andrea Bargnani over LaMarcus Aldridge, Rudy Gay, Brandon Roy and Rajon Rondo. Bargnani is a decent enough player, but a core of him, Kyle Lowry and DeMar DeRozan doesn't inspire much confidence (as fun as it could be to watch). Jonas Valančiūnas is as mysterious an X factor as you'll find in this league. All of this uncertainty won't stop a surprisingly fervent fan base from showing up and making the Air Canada Centre an oddly tough place to play (the tilted, 3-D lettering underneath each basket that makes it look like the logo is standing up probably doesn't help visitors either).

In the USS Princeton Disaster, an explosion on a ship carrying Tyler and his wife killed dozens of bystanders while showing off its cannon to a crowd gathered along the Potomac River. The Raptors entered the offseason looking to make a splash by signing Canada's own Steve Nash. They wound up paying Landry Fields $20 million instead. He isn't very exciting or very Canadian. Will the Raptors front office get it together? Will they avoid the lottery and fight their way into the 8th seed? Will visiting players remember they need to bring their passports to play them? Jamaal Magloire is still playing?!

Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers

Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Staryu

Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "DeMar DeRozan Misses Three-Pointer"

Headline we're most looking forward to: "Raptors Trade Away All Remaining American Players" 

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "You really tempted the fates there making the logo something extinct."

No Regard Daily Preview: Beasts of Land and Air

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Memphis Grizzlies vs. Atlanta Hawks


In a lot of ways, this is the exact kind of game we had in mind when we decided to do a feature spotlighting one matchup each night. Some games feature two high profile teams with major star power (see tonight’s alternate game of Orlando vs. Chicago), and these games are often amazing to watch. Other games feature two down-in-the-dumps squads who are playing merely for pride, and these games often produce a sort of human drama that we enjoy greatly. But this kind of game—the kind that features two teams that are competitive but not elite, two teams with exciting players who are not quite household names, two teams that are likely to be fighting for a playoff spot come April—is sort of what we live for.

No Regard Recap: 11-16-10

One Game We Watched Last Night: New York Knicks vs. Denver Nuggets


Knicks: 118 Nuggets: 120

Mike D'Antoni is confusing. And maybe a religious zealot. I get it that he's got a style of play he believes in, but the way he refuses to bend to any suggestion of defense or more patient offensive sets is mind-boggling. It borders on religious mania, a blind worship of the three-pointer.

Surely, two people who won't be attending mass anytime soon are Knicks announcers Walt Frazier and Mike Breen.