Showing posts with label Mark Cuban. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mark Cuban. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

No Regard Presidential Previews: Dallas Mavericks (Andrew Jackson)

Oh the season. Oh the season! Election or NBA, both are upon us. We're getting into the spirit by bringing you our season previews (with a little help from the presidents). One per day for the next 30 days—which will bring us to the Day of Reckoning. So please join us on the campaign trail as we shake hands, kiss babies and sink jumpers.


“No one need think that the world can be ruled without blood. The civil sword shall and must be red and bloody.” - Andrew Jackson

No matter how you look at it, Old Hickory always had something new going on. A Tennessee Supreme Court Judge, hero of the War of 1812 and former one-year U.S. Senator, Jackson went on to drive the Seminole Indians out of Florida mostly with warning shots and upon finding that the British and Spanish were secretly assisting the Seminoles, captured and killed the Europeans leading the aide attempts. This led to Spain ceding Florida to the United States.

You would think that'd be quite enough for one lifetime, but the dueling, swashbuckling Jackson was just getting started. After serving another two years in the Senate (25 years after his initial term), Andrew Jackson was elected President in 1928 and invited the general public to the Inaugural Ball inside the White House, which became overrun with people. Jacksonian Democracy was geared toward greater democracy for "the common man." Andrew Jackson was anything but common.

Mark Cuban and Dirk Nowitzki's Dallas Mavericks have transformed themselves from the Nash/Michael Finley/Dirk running and gunning Big 3 that could never get to the finals to the Avery Johnson-led Devin Harris/Josh Howard/Erick Dampier finalists to Rick Carlisle's Kidd/Matrix/Chandler/Dirk Champions to the Dirk/Matrix/cap fodder enigma they are today. The Mavericks have made the playoffs every years since 2001 and have faced the Suns and Spurs seven times in those 12 years. Historians vary on the number of duels Andrew Jackson won in his lifetime (between 13 and 100, even the former of which is 13 times too many for a sane person to decide to have a loaded gun pointed at him), but the Mavericks have certainly had their fair share of showdowns against rivals and other challengers. They may not always win, but the Mavericks have been there, done that when it comes to win or go home showdowns, and they've done it with all forms of lineups and styles of play.

Though Steve Nash and Tyson Chandler didn't exactly take a Trail of Tears out of Dallas (each were paid very handsomely by their new teams), it seems rather common that former Mavericks players leave the organization with bitter feelings. Mark Cuban is certainly not afraid to rub anyone the wrong way (once telling Kenyon Martin's mom that her son is a thug) and is no stranger to discipline from the league office. That said, Cuban has changed what it means to be a sports owner, becoming a very controversial public figure and actively participating in running the team. While remembered as someone who changed the presidency for the better, Jackson had his own questionable moments, allowing the Spoils System to take root, initiating the Indian Removal Act (it was exactly what it sounds like) and raising tariffs, which caused the Nullification Crisis. Both men, however, did everything in their power to make their union stronger by any means necessary.

The current Mavericks are not as exciting as they used to be. Gone are Jason Terry, Tyson Chandler, Jason Kidd, Brandan Haywood, heck, even DeShawn Stevenson and the championship team of 2011. The point guard situation is pretty mediocre (Darren Collison and Roddy Beaubois), there are way too many wings (including the ghost of Vince Carter) and Elton Brand seems to have surfaced in Dallas to back up Dirk. He, OJ Mayo and Chris Kaman were the big additions to the Mavs roster this year after the Mavs whiffed on signing Deron Williams and Dwight Howard. This roster has the 6th or 7th seed and a first round exit written all over it. At least they've got Delonte West around to provide some general tomfoolery. All good rides come to an end, and it appears the Mavs, like Old Hickory, are just moving on to their next incarnation.

This is usually where I draw one final parallel to the president to whom I am comparing the team. Instead, I am using this space to tell you to root for 27-year old rookie center Bernard James. Bernard served three tours over six years in the United States Air Force in Iraq, Kuwait and Qatar before being drafted in the second round this summer. The next time you see former Maverick and current fat disgrace Lamar Odom wasting away on the Clippers bench essentially stealing his $8 million salary, think of Bernard James and be thankful he survived the rocket attack that struck his camp in Iraq. The NBA is better with him in it.

Bernard James, thank you for being a great American.

Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers

Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Ponyta


Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Cuban Fined for Criticizing Officials"

Headline we're most looking forward to: "Delonte West Does Thing"

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "Welcome to Heaven, ya sure gave 'em hell! I'm here all week, folks."

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

If You See Something, Say Something: Sociology, Salad and Rubio's Vision

IYSSSS is our semi-regular Internet intelligence report, a liberal arts approach to following the NBA on the Web. E-mail us at jewsforjesusshuttlesworth@gmail.com if you've got any suggestions.

"Oh Back to School, Back to School:" While Kobe was in Germany, Artest changing his name and Durant making amazing commercials, Steph Curry was cracking the books back at Davidson College. Hoping to gain enough credits and earn his sociology degree, Curry was also spotted at basketball practice playing the role of Seth Curry on the scout team. This might be the best article in the history of journalism when its all said and done. So thanks Jonathan Abrams. 

Cuban Blasts League, Shocks No One: Mark Cuban yells a lot about a lot of different things. Most recently he's yelling because the NBA did not schedule his Mavericks a trip to DC to play the Wizards. Cuban feels that the game should have coincided with the champion's traditional visit to the White House stating, "How can you be that stupid? All you've got to do when your putting in the scheduling software say Dallas at Washington, yes." Tell us how you really feel, Mark.

Wade Dislikes Salad: D-Wade is happy to eat a chicken or turkey breast for his post-game meal, but don't expect the Miami Heat superstar to be tickled at the idea of putting back healthy greens. An interesting look into the health habits of professional athletes, Freeman notes that Wade loses about five pounds a game, something most Americans wish they could do in a month.

Rubio Nutmegs Dirk: If you haven't seen Rubio's clever bounce-pass—which splits Dirk's legs and assists on an important three-pointer—then you haven't lived. And if you have seen it, click it again because it's something special.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

In Cold Blood With A Toothpick




For a league in which the current trend seems to be all about budding young superstars, the Dallas Mavericks proved that age and cunning can still beat youth and vigor. Carried on the shoulders of one of the most remarkable individual shooting performances in conference finals history, the Mavs bested OKC 4-1, in a series that was more closely contested than its final scoreline.

It's obvious to point to Nowitzki's lights-out shooting as the main catalyst for success in Dallas this year, but Cuban's army received contributions from many different parties.

There was the ridiculously smart point-guard play from veteran Jason Kidd who, lost in all of this, has his third chance now to finally obtain the NBA's most precious jewelry. The inside presence of Tyson Chandler, whose passion for rebounding and defense compliment Dirk's offensive mastery to perfection. Jet Terry did what he's always done, hit shots and then spread his arms out like that of an airplane. Shawn Marion's resurgence, J.J. Barea's slicing penetration... the list goes on.

Up next for Big D is most likely the Miami Heat, who will provide an immense challenge. I'm tickled thinking about some of these matchups: Bron on Dirk, DeShawn on Bron, that crazy $5 bill tattoo on DeShawn, the ballsy Larry O'Brien trophy tattoo on Jet, Jet on Super Nintendo Chalmers, Super Nintendo Chalmers on J.J. Barea, J.J. Barea on Mike Bibby, Mike Bibby on Jason Kidd in the 2011 NBA Finals!

It should be a hell of a series, if for no other reason than we'll be seeing (barring history by the Chicago Bulls) the two best teams in the playoffs led by the two best players in the playoffs. While Dallas might feel somewhat satisfied knowing that many of the "experts" didn't even pick them to beat Portland in the first round, they know that right now second place will not satisfy the public. We need them to be more than an also-ran.

Shock the world, Dallas Mavericks.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Mamba's Last Stand


While Mark Cuban was undoubtedly lighting up a victory cigar after returning to Dallas with a 2-0 lead on the two-time defending champion Lakers, I imagine Kobe Bryant, the game's fiercest and most competitive player was fuming, aggressively lifting jump-shots in an empty gym while plotting his team's comeback. Pundits, experts and fans have written off Los Angeles, stating claims like, "Pau Gasol is soft and can't stop Dirk" and "Kobe is too old to dominate a seven game series." I hate the Lakers, but I truly believe they will pull this off; when you've got the kid from Lower Merion, PA (via Italy) on your team, his insatiable desire for perfection offers light in the darkest of situations.

I don't need to remind of you the Mamba's resume, because his accolades aren't why I'm convinced he will bring L.A. back from the dead. No, Kobe is driven by a greater calling...

Thursday, December 9, 2010

No Regard Daily Previews: Three's Company!

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Dallas Mavericks Vs. New Jersey Nets


This matchup is deceptively interesting despite the chasm-like discrepancy in wins and losses between these two teams. Here are some of the story lines that make tonight's featured game worth checking out:

Friday, November 19, 2010

No Regard Weekend Preview: Get Drunk With Mike Bibby

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you may remember a feature we started this offseason, NBA Happy Hour. In this Friday feature we presented a drinking game, giving readers the opportunity to get drunk while, let's say, watching the FIBA championship game, by giving them certain things to look for and celebrate. We are now carrying this idea over to our weekend previews, in which we will tell you one game we'll be watching over the next three days, and ways one could creatively reach Blackout City while enjoying the NBA action. So without further ado: Grab a beer, follow the rules, and start the weekend with a Don Nelson-level buzz!

One Game We Will Definitely Drink During This Weekend: Dallas Mavericks vs. Atlanta Hawks


Thursday, July 8, 2010

Event Horizon: Mavs

This evening, LeBron James is slated to take up an hour of the world’s time to tell us where he’s going to be rapping and sleeping for the next couple of years.  This gesture has so far been called vacuous, despicable, ego-maniacal and poisonous to sports. At No Regard, we think it’s hilarious and have imagined some of our favorite possibilities.  Check back as Bron’s 9 PM deadline approaches for more predictions…

First of all, this is definitely what's happening, so stop shaking your head and get whatever smug "are they serious with this" smirk might have appeared on your face gone.

Immediate Impact: Cuban, Carlisle and Co. finally have a legitimate 2 guy, but it's one nobody expected. Dirk Nowitzki. I mean how seriously, pants-wettingly terrifying is the idea of that jump-shooting caveman being the SECOND best scorer on a team?

ShareThis