No Regard Recaps: All Is Love

One Game We Watched Last Night: Minnesota Timberwolves vs. Oklahoma City Thunder

Wolves: 99, Thunder: 93

The Timberwolves have become a team from the '80s that your dad would tell you about. The kind of story you'd listen to with disbelief and jealousy that you missed out on this crew by 15 years of existence.

"You would have loved watching Rubio."

"Yeah I bet," you would respond, irritated at having to hear this for the tenth time because yeah, obviously you would have loved watching Rubio.

"The passing was there like everyone says it was, but he was also a long, tough defender and this odd type of floor general. He had so much experience in his pocket, but was still so young—or at least always seemed young. He was goofy, but that silliness was only relevant because he was so skilled. And oh god the passes."

"Wow." You kind of hate this exercise in "you should have been there" NBA chat, but you also can't help but want to hear more.

"And this team just had a bunch of kind of mystical dudes. Love was as fun to watch rebound as anyone and his shot had such a low arc that you never thought it would go in but did. Peković was essentially a really well rolled D&D character. Brandon Roy was doing this really weird post-retirement comeback tour. You've never heard if JJ Barea, but he had energy and could heat up and somehow played a big role in a lot of important basketball games in his career. In fact, this whole team seemed to play up for big games. They were always worth the ticket price when they came to town. You had to head to the arena and check them out."

"That's cool," you say as you walk away, trying to play it all down. But you're bummed you never got a chance to see this team. They seemed great.

But lucky for us, we are watching them right now. And if we have kids who care at all about the NBA, they're going to have to sit through our drivel about Rubio and the gang. Oh well.

One Game We Didn't Watch Last Night: Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks

Heat: 110, Mavs: 95

How much better is LeBron than anyone else in the NBA right now? Assume Durant is number two, which is the correct assumption. LeBron is what, five times as good as him? Then just think how much better he is than a lower tier all-star like Danny Granger. LeBron is probably 15 times as good as Danny Granger, right? Am I way off here? Any scientists want to weigh in here?

No Regard Recaps: Heads Up, Heads Off

One Game We Watched Last Night: Miami Heat vs. Chicago Bulls

Heat: 83 Bulls: 72

If Wade's elbow to the gut of Rip Hamilton didn't qualify Miami's desire to win a championship this season, then LBJ's bone-crunching, bicep-led pick certainly must have.

For the second time this calendar year, LeBron showcased just how much of an aberration he is when it comes to athleticism and the human race. And for the second time this season, John Lucas III was the subject of humiliation as a result. We all remember LeBron leap-frogging over an oblivious JL Three.

 

But after last night's game, watching that same man crumble to the floor, attempt to get up only to crash back down, and then sprint after James, I am convinced that this was the more satisfying and important LeBron moment. 

Sure, the dunk induced a serious spell of the giggles when I first witnessed the feat, but it was far from the first time LeBron James has walked on the moon. This was different: This was King James sending a message—legally, mind you—that he's the biggest, baddest, and most imposing basketball player in the world. He can out-pace and out-finesse opponents if he so pleases, but he's also got enough size to bring pain to whomever he pleases, whenever he pleases. 

One Game We Didn't Watch Last Night: Minnesota Timberwolves vs. Detriot Pistons

Wolves: 91, Pistons: 80

JJ Barea netted 13 in the victory for the Wolves. Ricky Rubio did not play.

Here's To You, Ricky

Raise your hand if you are devastated about Ricky Rubio's torn ACL. Me too. Him being out for the season and set to miss the Olympics due to a horrible knee injury (RIP Willis McGahee) is exactly that, horrible. But my larger concern is that this special point guard will never be the same, epically awesome basketball messiah ever again.

However, since one of my 2012 New Year's resolutions was to view the world with more of a glass-half-full type of attitude, I'll try my best to imagine that the Spaniard comes back next season better than ever—an MVP candidate and playoff contender to boot. In the meantime, we can raise a glass to RR and remember the good, nay the great times.

If You See Something, Say Something: Sociology, Salad and Rubio's Vision

IYSSSS is our semi-regular Internet intelligence report, a liberal arts approach to following the NBA on the Web. E-mail us at jewsforjesusshuttlesworth@gmail.com if you've got any suggestions.

"Oh Back to School, Back to School:" While Kobe was in Germany, Artest changing his name and Durant making amazing commercials, Steph Curry was cracking the books back at Davidson College. Hoping to gain enough credits and earn his sociology degree, Curry was also spotted at basketball practice playing the role of Seth Curry on the scout team. This might be the best article in the history of journalism when its all said and done. So thanks Jonathan Abrams. 

Cuban Blasts League, Shocks No One: Mark Cuban yells a lot about a lot of different things. Most recently he's yelling because the NBA did not schedule his Mavericks a trip to DC to play the Wizards. Cuban feels that the game should have coincided with the champion's traditional visit to the White House stating, "How can you be that stupid? All you've got to do when your putting in the scheduling software say Dallas at Washington, yes." Tell us how you really feel, Mark.

Wade Dislikes Salad: D-Wade is happy to eat a chicken or turkey breast for his post-game meal, but don't expect the Miami Heat superstar to be tickled at the idea of putting back healthy greens. An interesting look into the health habits of professional athletes, Freeman notes that Wade loses about five pounds a game, something most Americans wish they could do in a month.

Rubio Nutmegs Dirk: If you haven't seen Rubio's clever bounce-pass—which splits Dirk's legs and assists on an important three-pointer—then you haven't lived. And if you have seen it, click it again because it's something special.

Slippery When Wet

Eric Gordon made it rain yesterday. All over these hoes. Well not "these hoes" so much as Tunisian basketball players but the imagery still works. Sort of. Seriously though, Gordon sizzled draining multiple 3 pointers and finishing the game with 21 points as the USA cruised to an easy victory over Tunisia. I hope Coach K was taking notes for the future.

Onto the knock-out stage of the tournament where much tougher foes await like Spain and Greece. Will KD, Rose and Duke's Head Coach do enough to lead our heroes to FIBA immortality, or will Minnesota's lost boy carry Spain to international basketball triumph?

We'll just have to tune in to find out. How lucky are we to get to see the smile pictured below playing in one-and-done basketball games in early September?