No Regard Presidential Previews: Houston Rockets (Calvin Coolidge)

Oh the season. Oh the season! Election or NBA, both are upon us. We're getting into the spirit by bringing you our season previews (with a little help from the presidents). One per day for the next 30 days—which will bring us to the Day of Reckoning. So please join us on the campaign trail as we shake hands, kiss babies and sink jumpers.

"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated failures. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent." - Calvin Coolidge

A quick glance of the above quote and it's not so inconceivable to speculate that it is the tagline for a Rockets advertisement pitching the upcoming season. The focus? Their shiny new prized pig: the ridiculous Jeremy Lin. Lin, the unquestionable storyline for Houston this season, built his short time in the spotlight around what Coolidge so aptly determines as omnipotent—persistence and determination. 

Lin's ascent to King of New York arose from circumstance, as did Coolidge's ascent to King of America. Lin was the recipient of the crumbling careers of Mike Bibby, Baron Davis and Toney Douglas, while Coolidge found the crown on his head after President Harding died in California.

The Roaring Twenties, Coolidge's reign in office, are not so different than the sort of unparalleled popularity and success that the NBA is currently dealing with. Among the jazz, liquor and flappers stood a president known to say very little yet faithfully believe in lowering taxes and shrinking the government. LeBron James, Kevin Durant and Kobe Bryant might appear to run the NBA landscape, but despite their celebrity, a humble, hardworking Jeremy is doing his thing. A dude who seems pretty damn quiet himself and who definitely has some serious faith of his own.

If Houston hopes to have any chance of competing for a playoff spot, they will need to rely on outworking opponents and trusting that a man no one ever predicted could be a leader can handle what are now massive expectations and responsibilities. People often disagree on the legacy of Coolidge's presidency. Remind you of anyone? 

Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers

Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Pidgy

Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Jeremy Lin Does Something Somewhere During A Basketball Game"

Headline we're most looking forward to: "Chandler Parsons Dunks On Griffin, Again, Starts Brawl"

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "Thanks for all the love Jeremy, but its Jets season. Sanchez sucks."

Who'd You Get?!: Hakeem Olajuwon, SkyBox Emotion (1995)

We at No Regard used to collect basketball cards. Convincing a parent to shuttle us and our friends to the local collector's shop was a consistently important victory. When we found out KMart was selling entire boxes for $20, we almost wore out our bike tires pedaling back and forth.


Now we've unearthed the cache, and the results are stunning. We've been reminded that players named Dino Radja and Wesley Person briefly and forcefully carved out steady roles for themselves in the league. We've been straight tickled by the goofy casual pics. And we've been touched and inspired by the relentless optimism of the copywriters. We hope you enjoy this odd time capsule, a Utopian angle from which to view the league, where everyone is the next somebody and context is pointless.

No Regard Previews: The Good Ol' Days

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Miami Heat vs. San Antonio Spurs

About five years ago, LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers bested the bullies of the East, the Pistons, and earned themselves a spot in the finals to play against the juggernaut that was the Tim Duncan-led San Antonio Spurs. Today, LeBron James and the Miami Heat host the San Antonio Spurs, a team that sports some of the same pieces it did when they swept the the King's Cavs in convincing fashion many moons ago.

With Wade out due to an ankle injury, this Heat team is not so different than that '06-'07 Cleveland team. Yes, Bosh is an upgrade from Big Z and Coach Spo is significantly more interested in trading for Fruit Roll-Ups at lunchtime than Mike Brown ever was, but the similarities exist. Is Super Nintendo Chalmers not Boobie Gibson 2.0? Does Andy V. not possess some of the glue-guy type qualities that makes Udonis Haslem so valuable? And I like to pretend that Scott Pollard and Juwan Howard can somehow be compared.

Regardless, the point is that without Wade, LeBron is playing the role of quarterback, wide-receiver and running back once again. Back in that first finals season, LBJ averaged 27 points, nearly 7 rebounds and 6 assists per game. This campaign, some of which has been sans older-bro Dwayne, the King's numbers are even sicker: 29.5, 8.2, and 7.4 per game, respectively.

Do not get me wrong: No one is a bigger fan of the fact that LeBron went on television for an hour to tell the world that he was going to play basketball with his friends. But part of me misses the good old days when he was the Cleveland Cavaliers. Every game was the LeBron show and the deeper they got in the playoffs, the more intriguing it was to see if he could carry Erik Snow and Drew Gooden to glory.

Tonight, when the Spurs invade Miami, I'll get slight a reminder of what it was like watching the '06-'07 LeBron Jameses. And I always enjoy a good one-man band.


One Game We Probably Won't Watch Tonight (Even Though We'd Kind Of Like To): Houston Rockets vs. Detroit Pistons

We are not shy when it comes to sharing our undying love for Larry Frank. And for some odd reason, we have taken a similar liking to the concept of Kevin McHale coaching in the NBA. The motivation for the former is pretty simple and we have a solid understanding of it: He was top dog with the Nets and had relative success, is one of the biggest basketball nerds in the world, originates from New Jersey and reminds us of ourselves when we were in 6th grade (doing our best to turn a bunch of stale Fritos into a decent PB&J). The latter obsession is not as clear cut to us. We thought McHale was a decent analyst on TNT, but his hiring as the Rockets head coach freakishly fascinates and amuses us. I honestly can't figure it out why, but it's the truth and I think it probably says something about how we view the NBA. (And the simple fact may be that we view the NBA like a bunch of idiots, but that's our bull to lasso, not yours.)

This game pits some pretty dysfunctional offensive clubs against one another in what probably won't be the most entertaining game of the season. But since one of my resolutions for 2012 was to try and view situations positively, perhaps Luis Scola will drop 50 points and Larry Frank will get ejected for charging the court in the 4th quarter.

Also, we're obsessed with Scola, too, but we know why. We watched him a ton that one summer wheel and deal for Argentina and were beyond impressed. He's brimming with game from head to toe and if he did not play for the Rockets he would compete to be an All-Star every year. That and the hair. It's mostly the hair.

No Regard Previews: A New Show On Broadway

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight:
New York Knicks vs. Milwaukee Bucks

The scene is going to be wild tonight during the first game of the Melo Era in Madison Sqaure Garden. After almost a decade of terrible decisions, and pathetic basketball teams, New York Knick nation has a right to be ridiculously excited. And who better to take over the Big Apple than one of its own, Carmelo Anthony? This evening's game marks the start of something special for both New York City and the NBA. Seriously.

HOUSTON WE HAVE A DOG

Rocket Dog from Rocket Dog on Vimeo.

News broke late last night that Terrence Williams would be packing his bags and leaving Newark for Houston in a minor three team trade between the Nets, Rockets, and Lakers. It should be understood that the above title is not a dig at Terrence, nor a reference to his general resemblance to a canine. It's simply the catchphrase to my favorite Tracy Morgan sketch, that also happens to demonstrate the way I feel about the Nets right now. How many young, promising players can I watch my favorite team strap rockets to and send off into orbit?

No Regard Daily Previews: 11-17-2010

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Houston Rockets vs. Oklahoma City Thunder


We are a few weeks into the season and have barely written about the Thunder, the team we spent all summer championing until our throats were sore. We even picked them to win the Western Conference. So a fair question is, "Wha' happened?!"

The simplest answer is, "The Minnesota Timberwolves became our spirit animal." The long answer would get boring, so let's just leave it at that and say we're sorry. The road to recovery starts tonight, when we watch the team we crushed so hard on for the better part of this year play the Rockets.

"Why the Rockets?" you ask. I just like them. But I know this shoudn't be a close game. The Rockets are venturing into the loudest arena in the NBA without their starting point guard and starting center. Those two absences would kill their chances in a tug of war or egg spoon race, and pretty much do the same for tonight's basketball exhibition. But the Rockets have pulled off wins against much steeper odds in the past few years (including most of those during their 22-game winning streak back in 2008). Regardless, I think Luis Scola's hair is nice and I'm excited to watch rookie Ishmael Smith. I've never seen so much as a picture of the guy, but dude's name just sounds fast.

Also, no matter what happens in the game, tomorrow morning I'm going to run the headline, "Houston, We Have a Dog!". And that's as fair a reason as any I can think of to watch a basketball game.

One Game We Probably Won't Watch Tonight: Los Angeles Lakers vs. Detroit Pistons


If we want to see innocent people get ruined by ruthless killers tonight, we'll watch Hotel Rwanda. At least that has a sort of hopeful ending.

Free Asiancy

Yao Ming is alive, running, and still really, really, ridiculously, super-humanly tall. Those are full grown adult females of the same species (Homo sapiens) that he is running towards (and, as I like to imagine it, about to engulf in a Katamari-like fashion as he grows even larger and larger until he can eventually roll up trees, cars, small nations, etc.).

Aside from my obsession with Katamari Damacy, this photograph brings a few other things to mind:
1. Yao Ming might be paler than I am.
2. Do people in China wear any other colors aside from red, white and black?
3. What the hell has Yao been up to this past year?

Since there could be some debate over the answers to questions one and two, I'm just going to go ahead and address the last question in this post.