NBA Middle Names: Amar'e Stoudemire

We at No Regard spend a lot of time in our NBA knitting circles trying to figure out the human side of these players. Whether it's musing about their commutes to work, how much "Call of Duty" they play, or what their favorite snack food is, we like to remind ourselves that NBA players are nothing more than young men with enviable jobs. What better way to humanize our heroes than look up their middle names?

Amar'e Carsares Stoudemire

Melo and Active Hands

Abides and I watched the Knick game last night and simply put, it was a wonky affair. Here are some talking points we found hilarious, mind-boggling, and entertaining.

*Throughout the entire broadcast Mike Breen consistently harped on how well Carmelo was playing on defense. Almost every time he noted this, Melo was reaching in and waving his arms furiously—flapping around like a child aggressively attempting to swim out of the deep end. That was pretty much it. No clear shift in strategy, no sign of better communication, no calculated positioning, and no formula—just active hands.

*It was great to watch the Knick cheerleaders present Walt Frazier with a massive goblet filled with Snickers to celebrate his birthday. That should happen at basketball games more often.

*Mr. Candace Parker deserves more playing time. He checked Dwight better than any other Knick big and had some clutch plays down the stretch. And: Why haven't we seen Candace in the Garden yet?

*Chauncey Billups is so far beyond a joke that it's hysterical. If that makes sense.

*Gil showed flashes of OG Gil with some high-pressure threes.

*I get that Dwight's 6th foul call was pathetic, but he needs to calm the fuck down. Go ahead and try not arguing every single time a call doesn't go your way. Grow-up, Peter Pan.

*Melo and Amar'e never really looked to get each other open looks. This might be an option to consider down the road.

*You can't blame Hedo for fouling out: Whatever it took to get out of that arena fast enough for him to stuff three slices of the best pizza in the world into his mouth and rip seven vodka shots as quickly as possible.

*At one point late in the game, J-Rich and Melo looked like 6th graders wrestling as they desperately tried to trip and prevent one another from getting up off the hardwood. Awesome.

*I know this is overstated, but Walt Frazier literally just states words. Nothing he says makes any sense. After listening to him for almost 20 years, it still continues to baffle me.

*Melo should have put back his own miss at the end of regulation.

*This Knick team is great for the league.

*I wonder how many different people in the Knick organization Ewing asked about D'Antoni's job security.

No Regard Previews: A New Show On Broadway

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight:
New York Knicks vs. Milwaukee Bucks

The scene is going to be wild tonight during the first game of the Melo Era in Madison Sqaure Garden. After almost a decade of terrible decisions, and pathetic basketball teams, New York Knick nation has a right to be ridiculously excited. And who better to take over the Big Apple than one of its own, Carmelo Anthony? This evening's game marks the start of something special for both New York City and the NBA. Seriously.

Monday Morning Dance Therapy: Amar'e Santamire Edition

Monday mornings are tough. As the work week starts, we often need something to pick us up and remind us that things are going to be okay. That something is NBA players and other hoops figures dancing. This weekly column celebrates one of the finest things in life and gives you the kickstart you need to get the week started on the right foot.

Once again, not trying to turn this into a Knicks blog (especially after this weekend, ugh), but I came across this video last Monday and was super sad that I had to wait a week to put it up at the most holiday-appropriate time. Well, we're here, folks. 'Tis the season for Dancing Amar'e Santa.

No Regard Daily Previews: Bright Lights, Big Payback

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight:
Miami Heat vs. New York Knicks (aka LeBron James vs. New York City)


Lately, I've had to remind myself that this isn't a Knicks blog. It's been difficult, because for the first time in my adult life, my team is the talk of the League, in a good way. They are exciting, they are gellin' like Magellan, and they are looking like a playoff lock. With all that, it's hard for me not to think of the Knicks first and foremost when I currently think about the NBA (or when I think about anything, really). That said, I've told myself that, for this blog's purpose, I need to avoid the temptation of writing about the Knicks all the time.

Well, that's gonna have to wait, isn't it?

Monday Morning Dance Therapy: Ronnnnny Edition

Monday mornings are tough. As the work week starts, we often need something to pick us up and remind us that things are going to be okay. That something is NBA players and other hoops figures dancing. This weekly column celebrates one of the finest things in life and gives you the kickstart you need to get the week started on the right foot.

This one goes out to the wastey-faced dudes sitting behind Andrew Abides and me at the Knicks game last week. They thought it was really funny to yell "Ronnnnnny" every five seconds. Guys, we get it, Ronny Turiaf is easy to make fun of. But he is also very good at dancing, so shut up.

No Regard Daily Previews: 11-30-10

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Civil War Part II: New Jersey Nets vs. New York Knicks

Finally, for the first time in a long time, things are looking up for the two NBA teams geographically located within a few miles of the Hudson River. And for a staff full of avid Knicks and Nets fans, we couldn't be happier. Personally, having no horse in this race (Let's Go Celtics!), I thought it would be interesting to point out some of the newly found similarities between the two ball clubs which suggest what may or may not be impacting each team's improvement.

First similarity: Russians. Prokhorov and Mozgov. Both newcomers to their respective franchises. Prokhorov has made an immediate impact on the Nets and declared that they must do whatever it takes to win a ring within five years. Conversely, Mozgov received a warm welcome to the league from Blake Griffin and the illest posterizing dunk of the year.

Sometimes The Mirror Holds A Surprise

Knicks Remain Undefeated!

Last night, my beloved Knicks visited the Toronto Raptors for their season opener, and I am very happy to say that the Knicks are now currently tied for first place in not only the Atlantic Division, but in the entire Eastern Conference. Way to go, guys!

The 'Bockers achieved a 98-93 victory on strong performances from Wilson Chandler (22 points on 10 for 18 shooting) and A'mare Stoudemire (19 points, 10 rebounds, but also a LeBronesque 9 turnovers). Gallinari and Felton also looked solid, and Landry Fields justified his starting status by hitting three 3-pointers.

The most unfortunate part of the evening may have been rookie big man Timofey Mozgov's four fouls in seven minutes. Timofey, you need to stop that! I am no mathematician, but I'm pretty sure that is almost two fouls per minute! Too many! Luckily, Ronny Turiaf was able to come in and give the Knicks the inside defensive presence they needed, racking up four crucial blocks. Turiaf may just end up being the Knicks' sneakiest offseason acquisition.

Lastly of note is the regular season debut of Wilson Chandler with hair:

Very handsome! I don't know how it took me so long to figure this out, but Wilson Chandler is a lot cooler than I am. He has cooler hair, cooler tattoos, cooler weed possession arrests, and probably a cooler girlfriend (just kidding, this is a test to see if my girlfriend is actually reading). All I'm saying here is: Wilson, I think you're a really cool guy and I like the way you play basketball.

Top 5 Player Tweets of the Week - In Pictures!

From Skillanueva's half-time tweets to Gil's fateful outburst, we're keeping tabs on this whole Twitter thing.  Each week we wade through the rants, shout outs and sheer insanity to bring you the best micro-blogging the NBA has to offer.

5. "Yo this dude is swimming wit gerat white shatrks on the discovery channel"

- Jonny Flynn

4. "Going to the best place for Kobe beef tonight for dinner. The best!"

- Andrew Bogut