As we are wont to do when a holiday stops by, we humbly ask you: What do you think Evan Turner has planned for New Year's Eve?
Monday, December 31, 2012
Question of the Day
As we are wont to do when a holiday stops by, we humbly ask you: What do you think Evan Turner has planned for New Year's Eve?
Friday, December 28, 2012
No Regard Employment Placement Services: Coach Avery Johnson
It's not our job to discuss whether the firing of Avery Johnson was a justifiable decision by Brooklyn. We are not here to talk tactics, x's and or o's, or if canning a dude who was awarded "Coach of the Month" a scant month ago is a strong move or selfish and fake by the Nets.
We are here to do what we do: lend a helping hand to a man we have never met, but who seems admirable and pleasant enough. What can we say, this is not the life we chose but rather the life that chose us.
So we have combed through link after link on the always-famous, forever-charitable craigslist.com to see what new jobs we can find for the recently sacked Coach Avery. Hopefully he can avoid those nasty lines for unemployment checks with our help.
Monday, December 24, 2012
Who'd You Get?!: Muggsy Bogues, Topps (1994)
We at No Regard used to collect basketball cards. Convincing a parent to shuttle us and our friends to the local collector's shop was a consistently important victory. When we found out KMart was selling entire boxes for $20, we almost wore out our bike tires pedaling back and forth.
Now we've unearthed the cache, and the results are stunning. We've been reminded that players named Dino Radja and Wesley Person briefly and forcefully carved out steady roles for themselves in the league. We've been straight tickled by the goofy casual pics. And we've been touched and inspired by the relentless optimism of the copywriters. We hope you enjoy this odd time capsule, a Utopian angle from which to view the league, where everyone is the next somebody and context is pointless.
Friday, December 21, 2012
No Regard Recaps: All Is Love
One Game We Watched Last Night: Minnesota Timberwolves vs. Oklahoma City Thunder
Wolves: 99, Thunder: 93
The Timberwolves have become a team from the '80s that your dad would tell you about. The kind of story you'd listen to with disbelief and jealousy that you missed out on this crew by 15 years of existence.
"You would have loved watching Rubio."
"Yeah I bet," you would respond, irritated at having to hear this for the tenth time because yeah, obviously you would have loved watching Rubio.
"The passing was there like everyone says it was, but he was also a long, tough defender and this odd type of floor general. He had so much experience in his pocket, but was still so young—or at least always seemed young. He was goofy, but that silliness was only relevant because he was so skilled. And oh god the passes."
"Wow." You kind of hate this exercise in "you should have been there" NBA chat, but you also can't help but want to hear more.
"And this team just had a bunch of kind of mystical dudes. Love was as fun to watch rebound as anyone and his shot had such a low arc that you never thought it would go in but did. Peković was essentially a really well rolled D&D character. Brandon Roy was doing this really weird post-retirement comeback tour. You've never heard if JJ Barea, but he had energy and could heat up and somehow played a big role in a lot of important basketball games in his career. In fact, this whole team seemed to play up for big games. They were always worth the ticket price when they came to town. You had to head to the arena and check them out."
"That's cool," you say as you walk away, trying to play it all down. But you're bummed you never got a chance to see this team. They seemed great.
But lucky for us, we are watching them right now. And if we have kids who care at all about the NBA, they're going to have to sit through our drivel about Rubio and the gang. Oh well.
One Game We Didn't Watch Last Night: Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks
Heat: 110, Mavs: 95
How much better is LeBron than anyone else in the NBA right now? Assume Durant is number two, which is the correct assumption. LeBron is what, five times as good as him? Then just think how much better he is than a lower tier all-star like Danny Granger. LeBron is probably 15 times as good as Danny Granger, right? Am I way off here? Any scientists want to weigh in here?
Wolves: 99, Thunder: 93
The Timberwolves have become a team from the '80s that your dad would tell you about. The kind of story you'd listen to with disbelief and jealousy that you missed out on this crew by 15 years of existence.
"You would have loved watching Rubio."
"Yeah I bet," you would respond, irritated at having to hear this for the tenth time because yeah, obviously you would have loved watching Rubio.
"The passing was there like everyone says it was, but he was also a long, tough defender and this odd type of floor general. He had so much experience in his pocket, but was still so young—or at least always seemed young. He was goofy, but that silliness was only relevant because he was so skilled. And oh god the passes."
"Wow." You kind of hate this exercise in "you should have been there" NBA chat, but you also can't help but want to hear more.
"And this team just had a bunch of kind of mystical dudes. Love was as fun to watch rebound as anyone and his shot had such a low arc that you never thought it would go in but did. Peković was essentially a really well rolled D&D character. Brandon Roy was doing this really weird post-retirement comeback tour. You've never heard if JJ Barea, but he had energy and could heat up and somehow played a big role in a lot of important basketball games in his career. In fact, this whole team seemed to play up for big games. They were always worth the ticket price when they came to town. You had to head to the arena and check them out."
"That's cool," you say as you walk away, trying to play it all down. But you're bummed you never got a chance to see this team. They seemed great.
But lucky for us, we are watching them right now. And if we have kids who care at all about the NBA, they're going to have to sit through our drivel about Rubio and the gang. Oh well.
One Game We Didn't Watch Last Night: Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks
How much better is LeBron than anyone else in the NBA right now? Assume Durant is number two, which is the correct assumption. LeBron is what, five times as good as him? Then just think how much better he is than a lower tier all-star like Danny Granger. LeBron is probably 15 times as good as Danny Granger, right? Am I way off here? Any scientists want to weigh in here?
Thursday, December 20, 2012
No Regard Recaps: 55 and Counting
One Game We Didn't Watch Last Night: New York Knicks vs. Brooklyn Nets
Knicks: 100, Nets: 86
Sorry that I am definitely not sorry that Andrew and I were too busy crushing mozzarella sticks and guzzling bottles of glorious wine to actually watch the game last night. But don't worry, I've done my homework for this recap so it will most definitely be an educated and accurate assessment of what realistically and factually took place during last night's game between the Knickerbockers and the Nets, formerly of New Jersey (at one point, Teaneck, NJ for all you historians out there).
Pick and roll defense, Brooklyn! I'm no basketball coach and maybe my basketball IQ isn't as high as Avery Johnson's, but when Tyson Chandler and Ray Felton are able to connect time and time again on the most basic play a team can run on the basketball court, then I'd suggest maybe going over some tape in the coming days.
Thirty-one for Melo, let's just go ahead and give this dude the MVP trophy now and save Davey Stern some time and effort. Solid performance from J.R. Smith last night, too. Apparently, he's pretty into basketball this season.
What's with all the haters toward Deron Williams this season? You turn on the Twitter channel and a lot of the Nets people are strongly disapproving of what D-Will is bringing to the table. Since we're all possibly dying tomorrow, let's put this in perspective, critics: He's a lot better at basketball than you and me combined.
Why doesn't Marcus Camby get more minutes?
Another Game We Didn't Watch Last Night: Houston Rockets vs. Philadelphia 76ers
Rockets: 125, 76ers: 103
Speaking of defense, might want to think about considering playing a little after giving up 125 last night, Philadelphia. Chuck Barkley ain't walking through that door. James Harden ensured that Coach McHale's birthday was a festive one, tacking off 33 points and seven dimes in a dominating performance for Houston.
That's right, Kevin McHale turned 55 last night. We at No Regard would like to wish Kevin the happiest of birthdays as well. You're a great man, McHale. Thanks for all that you do.
Knicks: 100, Nets: 86
Sorry that I am definitely not sorry that Andrew and I were too busy crushing mozzarella sticks and guzzling bottles of glorious wine to actually watch the game last night. But don't worry, I've done my homework for this recap so it will most definitely be an educated and accurate assessment of what realistically and factually took place during last night's game between the Knickerbockers and the Nets, formerly of New Jersey (at one point, Teaneck, NJ for all you historians out there).
Pick and roll defense, Brooklyn! I'm no basketball coach and maybe my basketball IQ isn't as high as Avery Johnson's, but when Tyson Chandler and Ray Felton are able to connect time and time again on the most basic play a team can run on the basketball court, then I'd suggest maybe going over some tape in the coming days.
Thirty-one for Melo, let's just go ahead and give this dude the MVP trophy now and save Davey Stern some time and effort. Solid performance from J.R. Smith last night, too. Apparently, he's pretty into basketball this season.
What's with all the haters toward Deron Williams this season? You turn on the Twitter channel and a lot of the Nets people are strongly disapproving of what D-Will is bringing to the table. Since we're all possibly dying tomorrow, let's put this in perspective, critics: He's a lot better at basketball than you and me combined.
Why doesn't Marcus Camby get more minutes?
Another Game We Didn't Watch Last Night: Houston Rockets vs. Philadelphia 76ers
Rockets: 125, 76ers: 103
Speaking of defense, might want to think about considering playing a little after giving up 125 last night, Philadelphia. Chuck Barkley ain't walking through that door. James Harden ensured that Coach McHale's birthday was a festive one, tacking off 33 points and seven dimes in a dominating performance for Houston.
That's right, Kevin McHale turned 55 last night. We at No Regard would like to wish Kevin the happiest of birthdays as well. You're a great man, McHale. Thanks for all that you do.
Friday, December 14, 2012
NBA Middle Names: Damian Lillard
We at No Regard spend a lot of time in our NBA knitting circles trying to figure out the human side of these players. Whether it's musing about their commutes to work, how much "Call of Duty" they play, or what their favorite snack food is, we like to remind ourselves that NBA players are nothing more than young men with enviable jobs. What better way to humanize our heroes than look up their middle names?
Damian Lamonte Ollie Lillard
Thursday, December 13, 2012
What Matt Barnes Is Up To: Inked Up
If you don't know who Matt Barnes is, well then, you better call somebody. Or just read our newest feature here at No Regard! It stars fan-favorite L.A. Clipper, Matt Kelly Barnes. We're gonna be keeping tabs on the swing man throughout the season to ensure that we're all in the loop on his activities on and off the court. Warning: He may surprise you with just how much of a renaissance man he is.
Not to brag, but I was getting my haircut at Park Ave. Stylez in Weehawken, NJ two days ago in the early afternoon. The owner (I don't know his name yet, but he's tall) was watching an elimination-style reality TV show about aspiring tattoo artists. Each week, the contestants are given tattoo projects to work on and are eliminated one-by-one as the season carries on. Classic and tried method, really.
Guess who showed up as a surprise celebrity guest judge for the episode we were watching?! You nailed it: Matt Kelly Barnes. My fresh cut was finished before I got to see the end of the show, but I did hear Barnes express his disappointment in someone's work at some point during the episode.
Don't think you're going to be able to pass off some piece of garbage tat while Matt Kelly Barnes is in town. Not for one second.
Not to brag, but I was getting my haircut at Park Ave. Stylez in Weehawken, NJ two days ago in the early afternoon. The owner (I don't know his name yet, but he's tall) was watching an elimination-style reality TV show about aspiring tattoo artists. Each week, the contestants are given tattoo projects to work on and are eliminated one-by-one as the season carries on. Classic and tried method, really.
Guess who showed up as a surprise celebrity guest judge for the episode we were watching?! You nailed it: Matt Kelly Barnes. My fresh cut was finished before I got to see the end of the show, but I did hear Barnes express his disappointment in someone's work at some point during the episode.
Don't think you're going to be able to pass off some piece of garbage tat while Matt Kelly Barnes is in town. Not for one second.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
You're Starting To Piss Me Off!
I'm starting to worry about Michael D'Antoni a little bit. It's no secret that the Lakers are struggling. Their lack of chemistry is palpable and they are just so clearly taking longer than seven seconds to shoot the rock. Frankly, it sucks.
But last night, after another tough loss when asked if his squad was working on defense before the game, D'Antoni replied, "Hell yeah, we worked on it for half an hour!"
Then he said, "You're starting to piss me off, you're starting to piss me off!"
My only comment regarding this is that half an hour is way too long to be working on defense for a D'Antoni team. That time should have been spent practicing three-pointers and possibly half-court shots.
But last night, after another tough loss when asked if his squad was working on defense before the game, D'Antoni replied, "Hell yeah, we worked on it for half an hour!"
Then he said, "You're starting to piss me off, you're starting to piss me off!"
My only comment regarding this is that half an hour is way too long to be working on defense for a D'Antoni team. That time should have been spent practicing three-pointers and possibly half-court shots.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
No Regard's Player Power Rankings
These aren't your little brother's power rankings. Unlike the competition, we don't use boring metrics like "stats," "analysis" or "performance on the court" to rank how our favorite NBAers are doing. Nah, we're all about the narrative over here people. So welcome to our Player Power Rankings. A weekly feature that lists who's won our hearts this season and a brief explanation why.
#5: Reggie Evans
Andrew’s love for Evans is well-documented. Personally, I’m a big fan of the beard, shaved-head and the insatiable lust for gobbling the glass. However, the Brooklyn big finds himself in the number five spot for the mere fact that he’s the first player in the history of the league to get fined for flopping. History, ladies and gentlemen.
#4: Rasheed Wallace
When we heard about Sheed's comeback, it was almost as if Christmas had come early. His propensity to hurl threes with zero regard for human life, possible alopecia affliction and forever churning motor-mouth seriously suits our fancy. But he topped it all during the game in which he received an early technical—and then immediately got a second one for bellowing his famous prose. All together now, folks: "Ball don't lie!" Music to my ears.
#3: Gregg Popovich & The Spurs' Big 3
By sending home Timmy, Manu and Parker and seriously pissing off David Stern, Popovich was being Popovich: another brilliant move to be added to his tomb of exceptionality. But the icing on the cake, nay the super delicious incredible frosting on the giant Cake-Boss style cake, was the greatest picture ever taken, which recently met the Internet.
#2: Stephen Jackson
Pretty fantastic email from my brother this morning asking me to translate the following tweet: "Somebody tel serg Abaka. He aint bout dis life. Next time he run up on me im goin in his mouth. That's a promise. He doin 2 much." We don't need to break that down for you to understand how wonderful it is on ten million levels. His apology, though was what secured the former Charlotte Skipper’s surge into the two spot on our power rankings: "I'm not a thug just a man who speaks his mind." Thank you, Jesus, for bringing us Captain Jack.
#1: Coach Brown, Coach D'Antoni and Coach Jackson
#5: Reggie Evans
Andrew’s love for Evans is well-documented. Personally, I’m a big fan of the beard, shaved-head and the insatiable lust for gobbling the glass. However, the Brooklyn big finds himself in the number five spot for the mere fact that he’s the first player in the history of the league to get fined for flopping. History, ladies and gentlemen.
#4: Rasheed Wallace
When we heard about Sheed's comeback, it was almost as if Christmas had come early. His propensity to hurl threes with zero regard for human life, possible alopecia affliction and forever churning motor-mouth seriously suits our fancy. But he topped it all during the game in which he received an early technical—and then immediately got a second one for bellowing his famous prose. All together now, folks: "Ball don't lie!" Music to my ears.
#3: Gregg Popovich & The Spurs' Big 3
By sending home Timmy, Manu and Parker and seriously pissing off David Stern, Popovich was being Popovich: another brilliant move to be added to his tomb of exceptionality. But the icing on the cake, nay the super delicious incredible frosting on the giant Cake-Boss style cake, was the greatest picture ever taken, which recently met the Internet.
#2: Stephen Jackson
Pretty fantastic email from my brother this morning asking me to translate the following tweet: "Somebody tel serg Abaka. He aint bout dis life. Next time he run up on me im goin in his mouth. That's a promise. He doin 2 much." We don't need to break that down for you to understand how wonderful it is on ten million levels. His apology, though was what secured the former Charlotte Skipper’s surge into the two spot on our power rankings: "I'm not a thug just a man who speaks his mind." Thank you, Jesus, for bringing us Captain Jack.
#1: Coach Brown, Coach D'Antoni and Coach Jackson
There could not have been a better cast of characters to be involved in the "who is going to coach Kobe Bryant" game. After Mike Brown's slow start, the Laker's front office promptly cried "You're outta here, Mike Brown!" And then, post-full-on-flirt-mode with the coach that recently won them piles upon piles of jewelry, they landed on everyone's favorite Italian and gave him the keys to their super expensive automobile: the lovable and spectacularly mustached Michael D'Antoni. He has yet to piece together this wacky puzzle in Los Angeles, but he's coaching his heart out and we’re all better for it.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Who'd You Get?!: Alonzo Mourning, Fleer Ultra (1992)
We at No Regard used to collect basketball cards. Convincing a parent to shuttle us and our friends to the local collector's shop was a consistently important victory. When we found out KMart was selling entire boxes for $20, we almost wore out our bike tires pedaling back and forth.
Now we've unearthed the cache, and the results are stunning. We've been reminded that players named Dino Radja and Wesley Person briefly and forcefully carved out steady roles for themselves in the league. We've been straight tickled by the goofy casual pics. And we've been touched and inspired by the relentless optimism of the copywriters. We hope you enjoy this odd time capsule, a Utopian angle from which to view the league, where everyone is the next somebody and context is pointless.
Now we've unearthed the cache, and the results are stunning. We've been reminded that players named Dino Radja and Wesley Person briefly and forcefully carved out steady roles for themselves in the league. We've been straight tickled by the goofy casual pics. And we've been touched and inspired by the relentless optimism of the copywriters. We hope you enjoy this odd time capsule, a Utopian angle from which to view the league, where everyone is the next somebody and context is pointless.
This is a Special Edition of Who'd You Get?! I found this card tonight on the sidewalk in Manhattan on 7th Ave. between 50th and 49th Streets. Does it belong to you? If so, please contact No Regard. We will return it and then try to hang out with you because you're walking around New York with an Alonzo Fleer Ultra rookie card in your pocket. (Do you have holes in your pockets?)
Back of the card after the jump.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Adam's Basketball Basement Tapes: Volume One
My dad saves everything. For a long time, this tendency annoyed me.
Recently, though, I realized that for every one of my worthless
elementary school lunch menus sitting in a paper bag in his basement,
right next to it is a hilarious, terrifying, and/or touching piece of my
childhood. It just so happens that many, many of these tokens of
nostalgia--papers, drawings, notes--are focused on basketball. I was as
passionate in my fandom as a child as I am now. In this series, I'll
share with you some of the artifacts uncovered while digging through the
minutiae of my youth.
This first basement haul took place over Thanksgiving weekend. Because of the extensive amount of bagged schoolwork sitting around my dad's house, I only got through the fourth grade bag during that time. It was a very basketball-filled year, though, with lots of Penny Hardaway, David Robinson, and handwriting better than I could currently muster.
Artifact #3: NBA player mailing addresses for, presumably, fan letters. Seen here are the best ways to get in touch with Scottie Pippen, David Robinson, "Pat" Ewing, Karl Malone, Shaquille O'Neal, Michael Jordan and Larry Johnson. Use them responsibly.
This first basement haul took place over Thanksgiving weekend. Because of the extensive amount of bagged schoolwork sitting around my dad's house, I only got through the fourth grade bag during that time. It was a very basketball-filled year, though, with lots of Penny Hardaway, David Robinson, and handwriting better than I could currently muster.
Artifact #1: Some sort of bunny rabbit cutout version of Penny Hardaway,
on my favorite medium, construction paper. The kicks? Air Bunnies. The
jersey? Not sure, almost sort of looks like "Martian." If Nike had
caught wind of my Martian Bunny Penny idea, I'd be at least a
thousandaire right now. (I am sad to say that I am not actually a
thousandaire right now.)
Artifact #2: A Penny Hardaway three-part hanging decoration of some sort,
on my second favorite medium, paper plates with holes punched in them.
Might have been for a snowman art project. I was like, "Fuck a snowman,
here's Penny Hardaway with no shoes."
Artifact #3: NBA player mailing addresses for, presumably, fan letters. Seen here are the best ways to get in touch with Scottie Pippen, David Robinson, "Pat" Ewing, Karl Malone, Shaquille O'Neal, Michael Jordan and Larry Johnson. Use them responsibly.
Artifact #4: "Bulls Make History" news report/Rookie of the Year prediction. It reads:
Chicago- Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of the Kaufman Look. Today, I will discuss the Bulls' season, and Rookie of the Year candidates. On Tuesday, April 16, 1996, the Chicago Bulls achieved a great accomplishment when they won their 70th game. It was against the Milwaukee Bucks. But, I don't think they can win the championship. I believe they will win a game against the Orlando Magic in the East Championship by one point in overtime. [Ed: Assuming I meant in Game 7? Who knows, kids are dummies.] Who will beat the Bulls in the championship? None other than the #2 seed in the West (not to mention the most underrated team in the NBA), the San Antonio Spurs. This will happen because, there's no way Luc Longley can match up to David Robinson, and Sean Elliott is sure to give Michael Jordan and/or Scottie Pippen a show. All I have to say to Phil Jackson is, maybe next year. [Ed: Hey Phil Jackson, YA GOT BURNT.] Now, to get on the subject of Rookie of the Year. UNC proved that they are a college for elite players when Michael Jordan got drafted, and I believe that the Tar Heel tradition will continue 12 years when Jerry Stackhouse becomes Rookie of the Year. Runner up: Damon Stoudamire
Artifact #5: A really fantastic portrait of Penny Hardaway,
my favorite player and muse. Don't ask about the the thing between his
legs. Could be a mistake, could be a tail, could be a dong. No idea.
Artifact #6: A "Who's Who" book report summary sheet on "David Robinson: NBA Super Center" by Bill Gutman.
Another fantastic drawing in the top right corner. You'll note that,
according to the last prompt, I did indeed admire him, "Because he was
in the Navy, he has never yelled at a ref, he doesn't talk trash, and
because he is very smart because he was an honor roll student in high
school, and got a bachelor's degree in mathematics in college."
Definitely an A.
Artifact #7: "King for a Day" Essay.
Basically, I win a radio contest that makes me King of England for a
day. I make sure to tell the reader in paragraph #2 that "I am crazy
about basketball." I suppose I did this so that the reader would
understand why I ended up choosing David Robinson and Anfernee Hardaway
as my assistants, and why we played basketball all day after they
arrived.
Artifact #8: A fictitious report of a trip to Sports Authority. "When I went to the Norwalk Sports Authority, I bought a shiny, $330 basketball signed by the Orlando Magic's 6'4 guard, Anfernee Hardaway." Sorry, Mrs. Lopez, I lied to you. Sorry, Penny, I should have given you an extra three inches.
Monday, December 3, 2012
The Spurs Are The Roaring Night
The above photo held the No Regard office hostage for a while today. I mean, look at that thing. Perfection. Tony Parker's cartoonish mug. Tim Duncan's strangely menacing glare. Faux Crawford's helpless whistle. But the longer we looked at it, the more questions we had. Then we found this and got some questions answered, but we still have so many. Here are some of them.
No Regard Previews: A Prince Among Men
One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Milwaukee Bucks vs. New Orleans Hornets
There is only one division-leading squad taking the hardwood tonight in the Association. This same team happens to also be the employer of none other than the spectacular Luc Richard Mbah a Moute.
Did you know that Luc Richard Mbah a Moute is a Prince in Bia Messe, a village in Cameroon?
Were you aware that he has a brother playing college ball for the University of Texas? Hook em' horns!!
Any chance you are privy to the fact that he's played a total of 235 career NBA games? For all you mathematicians out there, that's 235 more NBA games than you've played (unless, by chance, you're a player in the NBA and reading our blog, if so, we love you and you're my favorite player ever).
No Regard For Human Life, where facts happen. (Also, don't forget to donate to Wikipedia!)
One Game We Definitely Won't Watch Tonight: Cleveland Cavaliers vs. Detroit Pistons
Last season, the point-guard stylings of Ricky Rubio were cruelly stripped from our lives far too prematurely. Now, during the budding stages of this 2012-2013 season, the gentleman whom, after seeing him play in person for the first time, our own Andrew Abides suggested was, "the only thing that matters" is watching his team play in church clothes from the bench.
Kyrie Irving, the dazzling magician charged with easing the blow of LeBron's exit from Cleveland to South Beach, is injured and quite frankly (mind if I'm frank?), it's a real buzz-kill.
So instead of watching a young dude with the bollocks to challenge Kobe Bryant to a one-on-one game for serious dollar bills, the honest and hardworking people of Detroit, Michigan will have to settle for watching Coach Frank man the sidelines. Listen, nobody respects Lawrence more than our staff here, but right now his squad could use a most extreme makeover and his wacky antics alone an entertaining evening at the Palace do not make. Kyrie, get well soon.
One Final Game We Probably Won't Catch Tonight Either: Utah Jazz vs. Los Angeles Clippers
After defeating the Sacramento Kings on Saturday, Clipper reserve and tattooed journeyman Matt Barnes, who notched 12 professional basketball points during the competition, stated, "It's a long season, and it's important to get the production out of your starters and your bench."
Agreed, Matt. Well-said.
There is only one division-leading squad taking the hardwood tonight in the Association. This same team happens to also be the employer of none other than the spectacular Luc Richard Mbah a Moute.
Did you know that Luc Richard Mbah a Moute is a Prince in Bia Messe, a village in Cameroon?
Were you aware that he has a brother playing college ball for the University of Texas? Hook em' horns!!
Any chance you are privy to the fact that he's played a total of 235 career NBA games? For all you mathematicians out there, that's 235 more NBA games than you've played (unless, by chance, you're a player in the NBA and reading our blog, if so, we love you and you're my favorite player ever).
No Regard For Human Life, where facts happen. (Also, don't forget to donate to Wikipedia!)
One Game We Definitely Won't Watch Tonight: Cleveland Cavaliers vs. Detroit Pistons
Last season, the point-guard stylings of Ricky Rubio were cruelly stripped from our lives far too prematurely. Now, during the budding stages of this 2012-2013 season, the gentleman whom, after seeing him play in person for the first time, our own Andrew Abides suggested was, "the only thing that matters" is watching his team play in church clothes from the bench.
Kyrie Irving, the dazzling magician charged with easing the blow of LeBron's exit from Cleveland to South Beach, is injured and quite frankly (mind if I'm frank?), it's a real buzz-kill.
So instead of watching a young dude with the bollocks to challenge Kobe Bryant to a one-on-one game for serious dollar bills, the honest and hardworking people of Detroit, Michigan will have to settle for watching Coach Frank man the sidelines. Listen, nobody respects Lawrence more than our staff here, but right now his squad could use a most extreme makeover and his wacky antics alone an entertaining evening at the Palace do not make. Kyrie, get well soon.
One Final Game We Probably Won't Catch Tonight Either: Utah Jazz vs. Los Angeles Clippers
After defeating the Sacramento Kings on Saturday, Clipper reserve and tattooed journeyman Matt Barnes, who notched 12 professional basketball points during the competition, stated, "It's a long season, and it's important to get the production out of your starters and your bench."
Agreed, Matt. Well-said.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Who'd You Get?!: Shawn Kemp, Upper Deck (1991)
We at No Regard used to collect basketball cards. Convincing a parent to shuttle us and our friends to the local collector's shop was a consistently important victory. When we found out KMart was selling entire boxes for $20, we almost wore out our bike tires pedaling back and forth.
Now we've unearthed the cache, and the results are stunning. We've been reminded that players named Dino Radja and Wesley Person briefly and forcefully carved out steady roles for themselves in the league. We've been straight tickled by the goofy casual pics. And we've been touched and inspired by the relentless optimism of the copywriters. We hope you enjoy this odd time capsule, a Utopian angle from which to view the league, where everyone is the next somebody and context is pointless.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
A Quick Thought on Last Night
Also, I realized that if I could invite three people, living or dead, to dinner, these three guys would all be at the absolute bottom of the list. No thank you to any of this.
That is all.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
No Regard Mashed Potato Power Rankings
Thanksgiving affords Americans a brief but slow-roasted moment to take stock of our lives and consider our blessings. Also, there's mashed potatoes! Here, we present you the first annual No Regard Mashed Potato Power Rankings, the list of guys we think make the best mashed potatoes. Happy Thanksgiving.
NBA Things I'm Thankful For
Last night I attended the Celtics 12-point loss to the Spurs. I used to live in Boston and went to Cs games all the time during the 2009-10 season (cheaper cost of living = more disposable income!), and being back at the TD Garden with one of my best friends from my time living there just felt like home. As such, I got the corny idea to make a list of NBA things I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving, both about the game last night and the NBA in general. Enjoy!
Monday, November 19, 2012
Monday Morning Dance Therapy: Vintage DeMarcus
Monday mornings are tough. As the work week starts, we often need something to pick us up and remind us that things are going to be okay. That something is NBA players and other hoops figures dancing. This weekly column celebrates one of the finest things in life and gives you the kickstart you need to get the week started on the right foot.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
No Regard Previews: Alliteration
One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Brooklyn Nets vs. Boston Celtics
No doubt beaming about their first opportunity to meet the BrooklyKnight in person, Doc Rivers and the gang head to what is affectionately known as "BK" tonight for an Atlantic Conference showdown with the Nets (formerly of New Jersey, FYI). The dubious storyline for tonight's basketball match is the health of the ever-spectacular, Rajon Rondo. If he suits up, fans will be treated to a game of point-guard chess between two of the world's best round-ball quarterbacks. If Rondo is in formal wear on the bench, then Deron Williams and Joe Johnson should be able to "run this town tonight." That's a Jay-Z lyric, FYI. He's part owner of the Nets, FYI.
Either way, Rondo will likely make the trip, look his best and beam outwardly when he accepts an autograph from the world's most important mascot, the BrooklyKnight.
Both Brooklyn and Boston are coming off victories in their previous basketball contests. The Cs put the ball in the hoop more frequently than the Jazz last night while the Nets did the same against the Cavaliers a few evenings ago.
Some other food for thought: Who will guard Paul Pierce? While Joe Johnson definitely has the size, one has to wonder if he's a skilled enough marksman (yeah, that word makes sense for a defender also) to slow down the always clever, never predictable Pierce. Word around the grapevine is that rebounds are important too, in winning games, so it should be tantalizing to watch and see if KG can slow down the absolute rebounding monster that is Kris Humphries. Even your little sister who hates sports knows that Boston doesn't have to worry about Brook Lopez on the glass. Rumor around the water-cooler is that he's literally allergic to rebounds.
One Game We Won't Watch Tonight: San Antonio Spurs vs. New York Knicks
Sorry but I'm not looking to party like it's 1999 tonight. Allan Houston ain't walking through that door. He's watching the game with a tie on from a luxury box.
No doubt beaming about their first opportunity to meet the BrooklyKnight in person, Doc Rivers and the gang head to what is affectionately known as "BK" tonight for an Atlantic Conference showdown with the Nets (formerly of New Jersey, FYI). The dubious storyline for tonight's basketball match is the health of the ever-spectacular, Rajon Rondo. If he suits up, fans will be treated to a game of point-guard chess between two of the world's best round-ball quarterbacks. If Rondo is in formal wear on the bench, then Deron Williams and Joe Johnson should be able to "run this town tonight." That's a Jay-Z lyric, FYI. He's part owner of the Nets, FYI.
Either way, Rondo will likely make the trip, look his best and beam outwardly when he accepts an autograph from the world's most important mascot, the BrooklyKnight.
Both Brooklyn and Boston are coming off victories in their previous basketball contests. The Cs put the ball in the hoop more frequently than the Jazz last night while the Nets did the same against the Cavaliers a few evenings ago.
Some other food for thought: Who will guard Paul Pierce? While Joe Johnson definitely has the size, one has to wonder if he's a skilled enough marksman (yeah, that word makes sense for a defender also) to slow down the always clever, never predictable Pierce. Word around the grapevine is that rebounds are important too, in winning games, so it should be tantalizing to watch and see if KG can slow down the absolute rebounding monster that is Kris Humphries. Even your little sister who hates sports knows that Boston doesn't have to worry about Brook Lopez on the glass. Rumor around the water-cooler is that he's literally allergic to rebounds.
One Game We Won't Watch Tonight: San Antonio Spurs vs. New York Knicks
Sorry but I'm not looking to party like it's 1999 tonight. Allan Houston ain't walking through that door. He's watching the game with a tie on from a luxury box.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Who'd You Get?!: Toronto Raptors, Upper Deck (1996)
We at No Regard used to collect basketball cards. Convincing a parent to shuttle us and our friends to the local collector's shop was a consistently important victory. When we found out KMart was selling entire boxes for $20, we almost wore out our bike tires pedaling back and forth.
Now we've unearthed the cache, and the results are stunning. We've been reminded that players named Dino Radja and Wesley Person briefly and forcefully carved out steady roles for themselves in the league. We've been straight tickled by the goofy casual pics. And we've been touched and inspired by the relentless optimism of the copywriters. We hope you enjoy this odd time capsule, a Utopian angle from which to view the league, where everyone is the next somebody and context is pointless.
Back of the card after the jump.
Now we've unearthed the cache, and the results are stunning. We've been reminded that players named Dino Radja and Wesley Person briefly and forcefully carved out steady roles for themselves in the league. We've been straight tickled by the goofy casual pics. And we've been touched and inspired by the relentless optimism of the copywriters. We hope you enjoy this odd time capsule, a Utopian angle from which to view the league, where everyone is the next somebody and context is pointless.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
No Regard Recap: Four More Years!
One Team We Haven't Watched This Year: Boston Celtics
Record: 2-2
I refuse to bore you with the details of why I haven't been able to watch my favorite team, the Boston Celtics, this year. You've got the Internet: You're familiar with weather, democracy and whatever other dumb excuse I have for not keeping up with Rajon and the gang.
To make up for it, here's a summary of their season so far. I might not have watched the games, but like you, I've got the Internet and I've got some functioning eyeballs.
Record: 2-2
I refuse to bore you with the details of why I haven't been able to watch my favorite team, the Boston Celtics, this year. You've got the Internet: You're familiar with weather, democracy and whatever other dumb excuse I have for not keeping up with Rajon and the gang.
To make up for it, here's a summary of their season so far. I might not have watched the games, but like you, I've got the Internet and I've got some functioning eyeballs.
Friday, November 2, 2012
No Regard Presidential Previews: Brooklyn Nets (Thomas J. Whitmore)
Oh the season. Oh the season! Election or NBA, both are upon us. We're getting into the spirit by bringing you our season previews (with a little help from the presidents). One per day for the next 30 days—which will bring us to the Day of Reckoning. So please join us on the campaign trail as we shake hands, kiss babies and sink jumpers.
"We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!" - Thomas J. Whitmore
A fictional team deserves a fictional president. But since they are the team I root for, the Brooklyn Nets get the greatest fictional president in this country's fictional history: Thomas J. Whitmore.
Whitmore led his country, and (in Roland Emmerich's xenophobic world view) the rest of the planet, through dark, dangerous times. The only way he was in a position to do this, though, was by narrowly escaping certain death in the flamboyant destruction of the White House, the most famous explosion of all time. You'll never catch me saying an unkind word about Jersey, but the Izod Center was a well-known awful home for the Nets for some time. To protect the brave men and women who loved and cared for the team, the Nets had to get out. Grab the kids, grab the dog, grab a world-class point guard and get out.
Even after escape, the odds were long against Whitmore and his country. They needed a plan and a little luck. But first, Whitmore needed to rally the troops, who were not really troops, but a rag-tag group of refugees. Perfect.
You know the Independence Day Speech. You watch the scene every July 4th because you know how to celebrate all that is good and just in this oppressive world. It's the finest example of presidential oration ever committed to tape. It's the rally cry to rally all future rally cries. Whitmore's words urged those fighter pilots to gladly and determinedly fly into unknown oblivion, equal parts possible glory and possible death. The incredibly deft marketing propaganda that the Nets organization has produced is Whitmore's speech. The Nets have convinced thousands of folks with disposable income that this as-of-now fictional cause is where they need to place their faith and allegiance. Much of a borough—and a few pockets of other metro area citizens—has bought into something that doesn't exist yet and that may very easily cause them suffering in the future. (Obviously, the Nets have been around for many years at this point, but the Nets team/experience that we are now being promised is brand new and, until the actual team plays an actual game on their actual court, not real.)
What comes next is what matters, though. The planes are in the air. Instructions have been given. Randy Quaid is sobering up. The plan is underway. Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith are inside the mothership. Now? It's time for the Nets to get on the court and prove that, indeed, they are real thing.
Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers
Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Unown
Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Hello Brooklyn"
Headline we're most looking forward to: "Reggie Evans Spends Entire Game Shaking Hands of Every Fan in Arena, Boosts Morale"
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "This is really fun, but I was really hoping it'd work in Jersey."
"We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!" - Thomas J. Whitmore
A fictional team deserves a fictional president. But since they are the team I root for, the Brooklyn Nets get the greatest fictional president in this country's fictional history: Thomas J. Whitmore.
Whitmore led his country, and (in Roland Emmerich's xenophobic world view) the rest of the planet, through dark, dangerous times. The only way he was in a position to do this, though, was by narrowly escaping certain death in the flamboyant destruction of the White House, the most famous explosion of all time. You'll never catch me saying an unkind word about Jersey, but the Izod Center was a well-known awful home for the Nets for some time. To protect the brave men and women who loved and cared for the team, the Nets had to get out. Grab the kids, grab the dog, grab a world-class point guard and get out.
Even after escape, the odds were long against Whitmore and his country. They needed a plan and a little luck. But first, Whitmore needed to rally the troops, who were not really troops, but a rag-tag group of refugees. Perfect.
You know the Independence Day Speech. You watch the scene every July 4th because you know how to celebrate all that is good and just in this oppressive world. It's the finest example of presidential oration ever committed to tape. It's the rally cry to rally all future rally cries. Whitmore's words urged those fighter pilots to gladly and determinedly fly into unknown oblivion, equal parts possible glory and possible death. The incredibly deft marketing propaganda that the Nets organization has produced is Whitmore's speech. The Nets have convinced thousands of folks with disposable income that this as-of-now fictional cause is where they need to place their faith and allegiance. Much of a borough—and a few pockets of other metro area citizens—has bought into something that doesn't exist yet and that may very easily cause them suffering in the future. (Obviously, the Nets have been around for many years at this point, but the Nets team/experience that we are now being promised is brand new and, until the actual team plays an actual game on their actual court, not real.)
What comes next is what matters, though. The planes are in the air. Instructions have been given. Randy Quaid is sobering up. The plan is underway. Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith are inside the mothership. Now? It's time for the Nets to get on the court and prove that, indeed, they are real thing.
Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers
Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Unown
Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Hello Brooklyn"
Headline we're most looking forward to: "Reggie Evans Spends Entire Game Shaking Hands of Every Fan in Arena, Boosts Morale"
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "This is really fun, but I was really hoping it'd work in Jersey."
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Goodbye New York, Hello Brooklyn
This post is written by law student and former Knicks fan Matt Engel. We couldn't be happier to post this here.
Divorce. Despite the frequency with which it’s used, it is still a nasty business. The kids (if they exist) always get hurt. There’s endless acrimony about dividing money and property. Lucky to have been personally unaffected, from what I’ve heard from friends and seen in movies, divorce brings out the worst in people. Still, despite the pain, after it’s all over and done with, divorce can provide the promise for a new beginning, for something better.
For years in the United States, a divorce could only be accomplished if the party seeking dissolution found a legal fault with his/her incompatible counterpart. Now, though, with the advent of “no-fault” divorce, a marriage may be ended for such excellent vagaries as Irreconcilable Differences, Incompatibility, and my personal favorite, Irredeemable Breakdown of the Marriage. In 2010, New York became the last state to move from a legal scheme that allowed only fault divorces, to one that permits no-fault divorces as well.
Without wasting any more of my or your time, I’ll assert my privilege: Goodbye, New York Knicks.
Divorce. Despite the frequency with which it’s used, it is still a nasty business. The kids (if they exist) always get hurt. There’s endless acrimony about dividing money and property. Lucky to have been personally unaffected, from what I’ve heard from friends and seen in movies, divorce brings out the worst in people. Still, despite the pain, after it’s all over and done with, divorce can provide the promise for a new beginning, for something better.
For years in the United States, a divorce could only be accomplished if the party seeking dissolution found a legal fault with his/her incompatible counterpart. Now, though, with the advent of “no-fault” divorce, a marriage may be ended for such excellent vagaries as Irreconcilable Differences, Incompatibility, and my personal favorite, Irredeemable Breakdown of the Marriage. In 2010, New York became the last state to move from a legal scheme that allowed only fault divorces, to one that permits no-fault divorces as well.
Without wasting any more of my or your time, I’ll assert my privilege: Goodbye, New York Knicks.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
No Regard Presidential Previews: Philadelphia 76ers (Thomas Jefferson)
Oh the season. Oh the season! Election or NBA, both are upon us. We're getting into the spirit by bringing you our season previews (with a little help from the presidents). One per day for the next 30 days—which will bring us to the Day of Reckoning. So please join us on the campaign trail as we shake hands, kiss babies and sink jumpers.
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." - Thomas Jefferson
Thomas Jefferson has a rather interesting place in presidential history. From what I can tell, people tend to think of him as a great American more than a great president. He peaked early, way before becoming President in 1801, as the main author of that classic 1776 title, the Declaration of Independence. Before his election, he was also a member of the Continental Congress, a diplomat in Paris, the first Secretary of the State of the U.S. and a Vice President. His resume was stacked when he came into office, but it seems he wasn't quite happy to be known as merely a great American. He wanted to be the top dog.
The Philadelphia 76ers are a team with a long, great history. Three championships. Erving, Barkley, Iverson, Malone, Chamberlain, Stackhouse (only kind of kidding). At this point, they could pretty much rest on their laurels if they wanted to. Turns out, though, that basketball franchises, like politicians, are always hungry for more glory. So after a decade of being decent but failing to live up to the glow of their legacy, the Sixers got a little crazy over the offseason in an attempt to make like Jefferson and reach even higher levels than they ever have before. They did so by trading away longtime centerpiece and jack-of-all-trades Andre Iguodala in a four-team deal that brought Andrew Bynum in from his discontented perch in Los Angeles.
It was the kind of move that is made by a team that needs to shake things up not because they're in the cellar but because they're trying to hang out in the attic. Bynum is a player who can turn a team into a championship contender; he's one of the game's dominant post players and he's young enough that he may even get better. But he is also a player who can cause a lot of heartache. His health is a serious concern, having already needed knee surgery in the past and now battling a bone bruise in the same area that has him out indefinitely to start his campaign in Philly.
Temporarily playing without Bynum will be a good test for the rest of the team. Can Jrue Holiday and Evan Turner become one of the league's top young backcourt duos? Holiday will do his part, but Turner needs to be more aggressive this year. Will Nick Young and Dorell Wright take smart shots? No, but if they make them, that's okay. Will Spencer Hawes and Thaddeus Young be able to provide adequate support for Bynum down low? They should be able to, but holding it down when he's out will be another story.
Everything will have to go very much right for the Sixers to reap the kind of rewards they're hoping for from their offseason shuffling. If it does, it could be the start of a very successful period at the top, an icing on history's cake as sweet as presidency must have been for Jefferson—a legacy move, so to speak. If it doesn't, it could damage the reputation they've built up over the decades as much as knowledge of Jefferson's slave ownership has called his merits into question over time.
Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers
Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Chansey
Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Bynum Walks Out on Crutches"
Headline we're most looking forward to: "NBA Forces Bynum to Cut Afro After Complaints of Distraction"
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "Nick, why didn't you tell me you were gonna wear that shirt, too? This is awkward."
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." - Thomas Jefferson
Thomas Jefferson has a rather interesting place in presidential history. From what I can tell, people tend to think of him as a great American more than a great president. He peaked early, way before becoming President in 1801, as the main author of that classic 1776 title, the Declaration of Independence. Before his election, he was also a member of the Continental Congress, a diplomat in Paris, the first Secretary of the State of the U.S. and a Vice President. His resume was stacked when he came into office, but it seems he wasn't quite happy to be known as merely a great American. He wanted to be the top dog.
The Philadelphia 76ers are a team with a long, great history. Three championships. Erving, Barkley, Iverson, Malone, Chamberlain, Stackhouse (only kind of kidding). At this point, they could pretty much rest on their laurels if they wanted to. Turns out, though, that basketball franchises, like politicians, are always hungry for more glory. So after a decade of being decent but failing to live up to the glow of their legacy, the Sixers got a little crazy over the offseason in an attempt to make like Jefferson and reach even higher levels than they ever have before. They did so by trading away longtime centerpiece and jack-of-all-trades Andre Iguodala in a four-team deal that brought Andrew Bynum in from his discontented perch in Los Angeles.
It was the kind of move that is made by a team that needs to shake things up not because they're in the cellar but because they're trying to hang out in the attic. Bynum is a player who can turn a team into a championship contender; he's one of the game's dominant post players and he's young enough that he may even get better. But he is also a player who can cause a lot of heartache. His health is a serious concern, having already needed knee surgery in the past and now battling a bone bruise in the same area that has him out indefinitely to start his campaign in Philly.
Temporarily playing without Bynum will be a good test for the rest of the team. Can Jrue Holiday and Evan Turner become one of the league's top young backcourt duos? Holiday will do his part, but Turner needs to be more aggressive this year. Will Nick Young and Dorell Wright take smart shots? No, but if they make them, that's okay. Will Spencer Hawes and Thaddeus Young be able to provide adequate support for Bynum down low? They should be able to, but holding it down when he's out will be another story.
Everything will have to go very much right for the Sixers to reap the kind of rewards they're hoping for from their offseason shuffling. If it does, it could be the start of a very successful period at the top, an icing on history's cake as sweet as presidency must have been for Jefferson—a legacy move, so to speak. If it doesn't, it could damage the reputation they've built up over the decades as much as knowledge of Jefferson's slave ownership has called his merits into question over time.
Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers
Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Chansey
Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Bynum Walks Out on Crutches"
Headline we're most looking forward to: "NBA Forces Bynum to Cut Afro After Complaints of Distraction"
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "Nick, why didn't you tell me you were gonna wear that shirt, too? This is awkward."
No Regard Presidential Previews: Utah Jazz (George H. W. Bush)
Oh the season. Oh the season! Election or NBA, both are upon us. We're getting into the spirit by bringing you our season previews (with a little help from the presidents). One per day for the next 30 days—which will bring us to the Day of Reckoning. So please join us on the campaign trail as we shake hands, kiss babies and sink jumpers.
"We are not the sum of our possessions." - George H. W. Bush
The Jazz are very promising, but as of three weeks ago, a group of nine NBA fanatics in Brooklyn struggled to name the team’s two starting guards.
“Mo Williams!” someone shouted after 90 seconds. Yes! We were progress embodied! Forward. Another 90 seconds; harder than we expected. We named Jeremy Evans, acknowledged Devin Harris’ departure and joked about John Stockton like a college sophomore at a Skidmore open mic night. Another two minutes and nothing. We moved on. Progress.
Look, I still haven’t looked up who that other starting guard is. I promise this is true. Also true is that while writing this, I’m listening to Drake’s “Miss Me” and Lil Wayne just said “Young Money Jerry Sloan.” *drops mic*
*picks up mic again because you came here to read a preview*
Bush 41 once referred to presidential foresight and overall plan as “the vision thing.” His non-strategy served him well for much of his career, but couldn’t get him a second term. Utah’s rushed plan to trade Deron Williams before he caused a scene and they lost him for nothing worked in the short term. But now they’re left with a thousand bigs (Jefferson, Favors, Kanter, Milsap) and Marvin Williams. If Kevin O'Connor can summon a touch of “the vision thing” and turn one or two of those tall guys into other, more form-fitting pieces, this team will get that second term and become a serious contender. If they don’t, then they might as well start building that presidential library of mediocrity. Which is fine too I guess. Not really going to lose any sleep over this.
Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers
Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Ninetales
Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Is Paul Milsap An All-Star?"
Headline we're most looking forward to: "Jerry Sloan Buys Season Courtside Seats, Heckles"
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "Ok, dish: What did Deron say to Jerry?"
No Regard Presidential Previews: New Orleans Hornets (Franklin D. Roosevelt)
Oh the season. Oh the season! Election or NBA, both are upon us.
We're getting into the spirit by bringing you our season previews (with a
little help from the presidents). One per day for the next 30
days—which will bring us to the Day of Reckoning. So please join us on
the campaign trail as we shake hands, kiss babies and sink jumpers.
"The country needs and, unless I mistake its temper, the country demands bold, persistent experimentation. It is common sense to take a method and try it: If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something." - Franklin D. Roosevelt
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, widely considered one of the greatest presidents in U.S. history, was the kind of man who was willing to put all his chips down on a big solution. When FDR took office in 1933, the country was in the midst of the Great Depression, with American citizens feeling hopeless, not knowing where to turn to get their lives back to normal. He quickly began implementing his New Deal, a set of policies that he hoped would create jobs and encourage spending. There's a lot of debate about how effective the New Deal was; some say the policies were ineffective and poorly planned for the long term, and that despite job growth through 1937, the return to recession in the years following proves that FDR's plan was not the panacea it is often thought to have been. It's clear that the New Deal was an immediate, positive burst out of a Depression, but harder to say how much positive impact it had beyond that. Could it have worked better? Could another dip a few years later have been avoided somehow? Who knows. What history remembers is that the United States was in much better shape in 1934 than it was in 1932, and that a few years after that, an unprecedented war would change the game once again.
The New Orleans Hornets are a team not unfamiliar with adversity. After the tragic Hurricane Katrina (geez, what timing) struck their city in August 2005, the Hornets temporarily relocated to Oklahoma City. Although attendance was significantly higher in OKC than in the 2004-2005 season in New Orleans, they were still a team without a real home. It couldn't have been easy for anyone in the organization to deal with an additional level of transience. Upon returning to New Orleans in 2007-2008, the Hornets had a triumphant season, winning the Southwest Division, going to the second round of the playoffs and playing the role of host team for a celebration-filled All-Star weekend. This resiliency came on the back of Chris Paul, the best player the Hornets have ever had. For those first couple seasons back in NOLA, with him in control, things had a bit of a Roaring '20s kind of feel.
But then, before last season, heartache came again when Paul demanded a trade and was shipped off to the Clippers in exchange for Eric Gordon, Chris Kaman, Al-Farouq Amino and a draft pick. Those are fine enough players, but even as a package, those guys can't come close to matching the impact of the top point guard in the league. It was a rough year for the Hornets, who finished 21-45, good for the worst record in the Western Conference. The dancing days were over and things looked as dark and depressing as the Hoover years.
The bright side of that season was, of course, the fact that the Hornets won the draft lottery and were granted the first pick this past June. With it, they made the only decision possible: Draft Anthony Davis. Davis is a Big Idea of a player, a defensive monster who has the potential to change the way the game is played on that end. All of New Orleans' chips are down on him—he is their New Deal.
The trendy prediction over the last few months seems to be that Davis will be a bust, that he doesn't have the offensive weapons or a strong enough body to be a true franchise player in the NBA. [Ed. - I've not seen this predictions.] Don't believe the anti-hype. We've never seen a player who can cover so much ground as quickly or with as much length as Davis can. Opponents of the Kentucky Wildcats who thought they had open perimeter shots quickly found out that when playing against AD, there is really no such thing. He will get there, and he will likely keep the ball in bounds to set up a transition basket.
I have faith in this man, but he won't be able to do it all himself. Luckily, the Hornets are already starting to build a solid supporting cast. Gordon has a lot of potential and if he stays healthy, he could become an All-Star level shooting guard. Offseason acquisitions Robin Lopez and Ryan Anderson are nice pieces: Lopez should be a good, experienced backup for Davis and Anderson has shown that he is one of the league's most dangerous outside threats. Things will get interesting at the point guard position, where Greivis Vasquez will have to fight off what I think will be a serious starting rotation threat from Austin Rivers. The team is noticeably weak at the three, with Aminu currently in possession of the starting spot over Hakim Warrick and another Kentucky rookie, Darius Miller. Miller, a four-year Wildcat and last year's SEC Sixth Man of the Year, may be starting before long.
The Hornets dumped a lot of players before this season, most notably Kaman, Trevor Ariza and Gustavo Ayon. If you take Davis out of the equation, they would be a weaker team than last year. With him there, though, they are a team not to ignore, one that has an outside but legitimate chance at a playoff spot. While there's some debate about how much credit we can give FDR's New Deal, if the Hornets can become a serious player in the West, there will be no question that Davis is the man to thank.
Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Onix
Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Davis Had a Bad Game: Is He a Bust?"
Headline we're most looking forward to: "Anonymous Angel Donates Knees to Eric Gordon"
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "What's up with the t-shirt under the jersey? Are you ashamed of what I gave you?"
"The country needs and, unless I mistake its temper, the country demands bold, persistent experimentation. It is common sense to take a method and try it: If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something." - Franklin D. Roosevelt
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, widely considered one of the greatest presidents in U.S. history, was the kind of man who was willing to put all his chips down on a big solution. When FDR took office in 1933, the country was in the midst of the Great Depression, with American citizens feeling hopeless, not knowing where to turn to get their lives back to normal. He quickly began implementing his New Deal, a set of policies that he hoped would create jobs and encourage spending. There's a lot of debate about how effective the New Deal was; some say the policies were ineffective and poorly planned for the long term, and that despite job growth through 1937, the return to recession in the years following proves that FDR's plan was not the panacea it is often thought to have been. It's clear that the New Deal was an immediate, positive burst out of a Depression, but harder to say how much positive impact it had beyond that. Could it have worked better? Could another dip a few years later have been avoided somehow? Who knows. What history remembers is that the United States was in much better shape in 1934 than it was in 1932, and that a few years after that, an unprecedented war would change the game once again.
The New Orleans Hornets are a team not unfamiliar with adversity. After the tragic Hurricane Katrina (geez, what timing) struck their city in August 2005, the Hornets temporarily relocated to Oklahoma City. Although attendance was significantly higher in OKC than in the 2004-2005 season in New Orleans, they were still a team without a real home. It couldn't have been easy for anyone in the organization to deal with an additional level of transience. Upon returning to New Orleans in 2007-2008, the Hornets had a triumphant season, winning the Southwest Division, going to the second round of the playoffs and playing the role of host team for a celebration-filled All-Star weekend. This resiliency came on the back of Chris Paul, the best player the Hornets have ever had. For those first couple seasons back in NOLA, with him in control, things had a bit of a Roaring '20s kind of feel.
But then, before last season, heartache came again when Paul demanded a trade and was shipped off to the Clippers in exchange for Eric Gordon, Chris Kaman, Al-Farouq Amino and a draft pick. Those are fine enough players, but even as a package, those guys can't come close to matching the impact of the top point guard in the league. It was a rough year for the Hornets, who finished 21-45, good for the worst record in the Western Conference. The dancing days were over and things looked as dark and depressing as the Hoover years.
The bright side of that season was, of course, the fact that the Hornets won the draft lottery and were granted the first pick this past June. With it, they made the only decision possible: Draft Anthony Davis. Davis is a Big Idea of a player, a defensive monster who has the potential to change the way the game is played on that end. All of New Orleans' chips are down on him—he is their New Deal.
The trendy prediction over the last few months seems to be that Davis will be a bust, that he doesn't have the offensive weapons or a strong enough body to be a true franchise player in the NBA. [Ed. - I've not seen this predictions.] Don't believe the anti-hype. We've never seen a player who can cover so much ground as quickly or with as much length as Davis can. Opponents of the Kentucky Wildcats who thought they had open perimeter shots quickly found out that when playing against AD, there is really no such thing. He will get there, and he will likely keep the ball in bounds to set up a transition basket.
I have faith in this man, but he won't be able to do it all himself. Luckily, the Hornets are already starting to build a solid supporting cast. Gordon has a lot of potential and if he stays healthy, he could become an All-Star level shooting guard. Offseason acquisitions Robin Lopez and Ryan Anderson are nice pieces: Lopez should be a good, experienced backup for Davis and Anderson has shown that he is one of the league's most dangerous outside threats. Things will get interesting at the point guard position, where Greivis Vasquez will have to fight off what I think will be a serious starting rotation threat from Austin Rivers. The team is noticeably weak at the three, with Aminu currently in possession of the starting spot over Hakim Warrick and another Kentucky rookie, Darius Miller. Miller, a four-year Wildcat and last year's SEC Sixth Man of the Year, may be starting before long.
The Hornets dumped a lot of players before this season, most notably Kaman, Trevor Ariza and Gustavo Ayon. If you take Davis out of the equation, they would be a weaker team than last year. With him there, though, they are a team not to ignore, one that has an outside but legitimate chance at a playoff spot. While there's some debate about how much credit we can give FDR's New Deal, if the Hornets can become a serious player in the West, there will be no question that Davis is the man to thank.
Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers
Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Davis Had a Bad Game: Is He a Bust?"
Headline we're most looking forward to: "Anonymous Angel Donates Knees to Eric Gordon"
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "What's up with the t-shirt under the jersey? Are you ashamed of what I gave you?"
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
No Regard Presidential Previews: Cleveland Cavaliers (James Garfield)
Oh the season. Oh the season! Election or NBA, both are upon us. We're getting into the spirit by bringing you our season previews (with a little help from the presidents). One per day for the next 30 days—which will bring us to the Day of Reckoning. So please join us on the campaign trail as we shake hands, kiss babies and sink jumpers.
“There can be no permanent disenfranchised peasantry in the United States.” - James Garfield
Despite serving eight terms in the House of Representatives, James Garfield's rise was seen as meteoric, as the son of a local wrestler became the first president ever elected directly from the House. Garfield's term was short-lived but eventful, somehow fitting in Civil Service Reform, a Naval modernization bill, a trade treaty with Madagascar, a Supreme Court appointment, placement of African Americans to prominent government posts and some economic stuff I don't understand into only 200 days. On July 2, 1881, Garfield was shot by a psychotic stalker and died from related complications that September.
Despite serving eight terms in the House of Representatives, James Garfield's rise was seen as meteoric, as the son of a local wrestler became the first president ever elected directly from the House. Garfield's term was short-lived but eventful, somehow fitting in Civil Service Reform, a Naval modernization bill, a trade treaty with Madagascar, a Supreme Court appointment, placement of African Americans to prominent government posts and some economic stuff I don't understand into only 200 days. On July 2, 1881, Garfield was shot by a psychotic stalker and died from related complications that September.
James Garfield's presidency, as the Cavs contender status, seemed to end as quickly as it started. Over two years later, it is impossible to mentally separate the Cavaliers from "The Decision," possibly history's most ill-advised TV special. The Cavaliers, previously most famous for being on the receiving end of Jordan-over-Ehlo in 1989, rose to prominence in the mid-2000s on the back of local wunderkind LeBron Raymone James. With five playoff appearances in a row, two number one seeds, one NBA Finals trip and an additional Conference Finals exit, Cleveland enjoyed a quick rise from the lottery to being a perennial contender. Then "The Decision" happened. A team that had only two home losses in '08-'09 and was the top seed again the following year immediately fell back to irrelevancy at the bottom of the Eastern Conference. It happened so fast it feels like it never happened at all.
Even a metal detector specially invented by Alexander Graham Bell couldn't locate the bullet in the 20th President's body and save his life. However, modern medicine (or maybe it was a trade with the Clippers, it was probably the trade with the Clippers) was able to give the Cavs a modicum of hope. The Cavs traded Mo Williams to LA's B-squad for Baron Davis and a first rounder and, wouldn't ya know, that pick turned out to be number one overall (on a separate note, Baron Davis's last action in a Clipper uniform was throwing a pass out of the sunroof of a Kia Optima). The Cavs chose Uncle Drew Kyrie Irving, added Tristan Thompson three picks later and a new core was formed.
As exciting as the spectacular Irving is, it's hard not to read the Cavs roster and think "who?" every third or fourth name. Anderson Varejao is the highest-paid player on the team and Luke Walton, so far removed from the glory days of Laker women, is second on the list. Varejao might start for a contender, but Walton has been on contenders before and didn't get a ton of (on-court) action. There is vague hope for the future, but this isn't really a team to get excited about yet. There will be a lot of double-digit losses and probably another lottery appearance, but at least they have a future. At least the assassination, unlike Garfield's, didn't go as planned.
Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers
Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers
Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Diglett
Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Irving Looking to Make 'The Leap'"
Headline we're most looking forward to: "Cavs Offer Five Minutes of Game Time to Local Tall Dude, Fans Mistake Him for Actual Cavs Benchwarmer"
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "Oh yeah, some jerk on ESPN wearing a purple checkered shirt said you might be coming."
Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Irving Looking to Make 'The Leap'"
Headline we're most looking forward to: "Cavs Offer Five Minutes of Game Time to Local Tall Dude, Fans Mistake Him for Actual Cavs Benchwarmer"
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "Oh yeah, some jerk on ESPN wearing a purple checkered shirt said you might be coming."
No Regard Presidential Previews: Milwaukee Bucks (James Monroe)
Oh the season. Oh the season! Election or NBA, both are upon us. We're getting into the spirit by bringing you our season previews (with a little help from the presidents). One per day for the next 30 days—which will bring us to the Day of Reckoning. So please join us on the campaign trail as we shake hands, kiss babies and sink jumpers.
Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Doduo
Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Dalembert Provides Quiet Leadership"
Headline we're most looking forward to: "Alien vs. Marquis Daniels Flops at Box Office"
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "Oh yeah you guys took the Hawks to seven games a couple years ago. I forgot about you guys!"
“It is only when the people become ignorant and corrupt, when they degenerate into a populace, that they are incapable of exercising their sovereignty.” - James Monroe
James Monroe was a Founding Father of the United States. A great patriot, he was elected in a landslide in 1816 after serving as a U.S. Senator, Governor of Virginia and Ambassador to France. His diplomacy skills would be needed domestically during his time in office, as the sectional dispute over Missouri's admittance to the union threatened to rip the country apart. A great compromise was reached, allowing the delicate balance of the nation to continue for a few more decades before the South seceded.
James Monroe was a Founding Father of the United States. A great patriot, he was elected in a landslide in 1816 after serving as a U.S. Senator, Governor of Virginia and Ambassador to France. His diplomacy skills would be needed domestically during his time in office, as the sectional dispute over Missouri's admittance to the union threatened to rip the country apart. A great compromise was reached, allowing the delicate balance of the nation to continue for a few more decades before the South seceded.
The Milwaukee Bucks, by all accounts, have been a below average franchise over the past decade or so. Since the departures of Ray Allen and George Karl in 2003, the Bucks have mired in mediocrity. As Monroe's most important moments arguably came before his Presidency in keeping European interests out of the new nation and participating in the founding of the United States, the Bucks' greatest moments came decades ago, when a squad led by legends Oscar Robertson and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (then Lew Alcindor) swept the Baltimore Bullets for the title in the Bucks' third year of existence. The past several seasons in Milwaukee have been more reflective of Monroe's post-presidential years, which were marred by personal financial problems and the sale of his plantation, but his name remains among the most influential of his time.
As previously mentioned, the fifth President of the United States had the momentous task of reconciling the admission of Missouri as a slave state to the union without losing control of the senate by adding two more slave-state members. To hedge against this, Monroe admitted Maine (then a satellite region of Massachusetts) as a free state, thus maintaining the balance of power in the country. The new-look Bucks face a balancing act of their own, with shoot-first backcourt mates Monta Ellis and No Regard Favorite Brandon Jennings lending new meaning to "not enough basketballs." Ellis was acquired in exchange for former #1 overall pick Andrew Bogut, his disfigured arms and all-time headcase Stephen Jackson, who has a large tattoo of a handgun on his chest and a brand new track out with Kevin Durant. Coach Scott Skiles will have to find enough touches for Ellis and Jennings while keeping them happy, or it's another season where nobody Fears the Deer.
The Monroe Doctrine announced America's intent to stay neutral in European affairs, intending to let the new country develop on its own rather than asserting influence on the rest of the world. Ellis, Jennings, Ekpe Udoh and rookie John Henson will need to grow together quickly to assert themselves into the affairs of the rest of the Eastern Conference and become relevant again. This team has the look of a squad that will hover just below .500, but get a random 12-point win in Boston or Miami and temporarily scare the croup out of the rest of the conference. Can the young Bucks (too easy) grow together and contend for the 8th seed in the East, becoming the Team You Don't Want to Face? Will Ellis and Jennings be able to share the ball and remain effective? Why is Beno Udrih making $7 million for this team?
Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers
Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Dalembert Provides Quiet Leadership"
Headline we're most looking forward to: "Alien vs. Marquis Daniels Flops at Box Office"
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "Oh yeah you guys took the Hawks to seven games a couple years ago. I forgot about you guys!"
Business as Unusual
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| photo courtesy CBS Boston |
Hey everybody. We hope you're all okay. Things are obviously pretty crazy on the East Coast right now, and it's not the least awkward time to talk about sports. But whether we're ready for it or not, the NBA season starts tonight. We're all safe over here, and we're excited to have basketball back. Of course, as we watch tonight, we'll have much else on our minds, and our hearts go out to everyone who has no power, no cable, no home, or no time to think about games because they have much more serious things about which to worry. For those of us who are lucky, let's be extra grateful about our good fortune, about our ability to live a "normal" life full of LeBron triple-doubles, Rondo needle thread passes, Kyrie blossoming, John Wall speed, Dirk cheering from the bench, and a new era of villainy in Los Angeles. It's going to be a good night for some, a rough night for others, but here's hoping that the new season makes each of our lives better or easier to get through, if only slightly.
Monday, October 29, 2012
No Regard Presidential Previews: New York Knicks (George W. Bush)
Oh the season. Oh the season! Election or NBA, both are upon us.
We're getting into the spirit by bringing you our season previews (with a
little help from the presidents). One per day for the next 30
days—which will bring us to the Day of Reckoning. So please join us on
the campaign trail as we shake hands, kiss babies and sink jumpers.
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." - George W. Bush
When we first came up with the idea to link presidents to teams for our NBA season previews, it didn't take long for a sense of dread to come over me. I was very much looking forward to fleshing this whole thing out, of course, but I also knew that there'd have to be a discussion I very much wished to avoid: that of who to pair with my Knicks.
The idea of W. was not mine, and at first, I fought it hard. I had lots of reasons for why we just couldn't make that comparison. The Knicks are a decent team, and W. was a terrible president (objective journalism!). The Knicks are an historically flashy team in one of the country's most liberal cities; W. was a "good ol' boy" who gave shape to much of the conservative, anti-"urban elitist" rhetoric that has dominated the right over the past four-plus years. The Knicks are an endlessly frustrating, reactionary, often bumbling team owned by a megalomaniac who... shit, wait a second.
I soon realized that there was no escaping this. The emotions that race through my body when I think back to the week after November 2, 2004—sadness, anger, hopelessness—are very similar to the emotions I wake up with every day as a Knicks fan. James Dolan, the team's infamous owner, has a sadistic knack for spitting in the face of logic and evidence and making decisions that should be seen as illegal. To outsiders, Dolan's reign can appear as an exercise in comic incompetence; ha, another dumb decision, silly guy! We on the frontlines of the War Against Happiness know, however, that he is not just a dunce who knocks everything over as he stumbles across the floor. He is a dangerous man who puts politics above the well-being of his subjects and who has the ability to inflict damage that will outlast him. While you could say the same for just about any president, W. lived those principles to the extreme.
So now, here I am, on the wrong side of the second term, wondering how the hell I let this—my Knicks fandom—last this long, how I allowed my life to be dictated by this jerk for the foreseeable future. I made this bed, James Dolan shat in it, and now I have to lie in a bed with a bunch of James Dolan's shit.
What about this year, though? Does it hold promise that things will be easier to get through, that my disappointment will be tempered? It's possible, but I doubt it. The health of Tyson Chandler and Amar'e Stoudemire are both in question, to the extent that Rasheed Wallace has been told to report for duty. Letting Jeremy Lin fly the coop and bringing in Raymond "The Felch" Felton and backup Jason Kidd is not a terrible basketball move, but neither one of those guys will be an X-factor, even if Felton returns to his previous Knicks-era level of production. Our shoot-em-up bench players, Steve Novak and J.R. Smith, will not see as many open looks as last year, both because defenses know not to leave them alone and Felton and Kidd don't have the ability to draw in defenses as well as Lin did.
The two players who, for my money, will decide the fate of the Knicks this year are Iman Shumpert and Carmelo Anthony. When Sophomore Shump returns from injury around January, he will hopefully bring the kind of defensive guard intensity he showed during his freshman campaign, the kind that straight up wins ball games down the stretch. Along with Chandler, he makes the Knicks a team that can score off turnovers, which they'll need to do. (For now, he'll continue harassing Andray Blatche.)
Of course, Carmelo Anthony is the man with the real weight of the world on his shoulders. Melo, as the only completely healthy star on the Knicks November 1 roster, will be the undisputed center of the team's offense, a role he relishes. If he can use the opportunity to become a true leader at both ends of the court, the Knicks could flourish along with him. But he will be working without much help for at least a month, and even though some might say he likes it that way, there's no denying that the Knicks cannot rely on him alone for too extended a period of time. I wish I were more confident that the team would be able to get off to a hot enough start to keep them in the mix into the spring, but I've learned that optimism is toxic for Knicks fans.
Headline we're most looking forward to: "Video: Shumpert and Blatche Pushing Fight Caught on Subway!"- WorldStarHipHop
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "Sorry James, you can't come in."
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." - George W. Bush
When we first came up with the idea to link presidents to teams for our NBA season previews, it didn't take long for a sense of dread to come over me. I was very much looking forward to fleshing this whole thing out, of course, but I also knew that there'd have to be a discussion I very much wished to avoid: that of who to pair with my Knicks.
The idea of W. was not mine, and at first, I fought it hard. I had lots of reasons for why we just couldn't make that comparison. The Knicks are a decent team, and W. was a terrible president (objective journalism!). The Knicks are an historically flashy team in one of the country's most liberal cities; W. was a "good ol' boy" who gave shape to much of the conservative, anti-"urban elitist" rhetoric that has dominated the right over the past four-plus years. The Knicks are an endlessly frustrating, reactionary, often bumbling team owned by a megalomaniac who... shit, wait a second.
I soon realized that there was no escaping this. The emotions that race through my body when I think back to the week after November 2, 2004—sadness, anger, hopelessness—are very similar to the emotions I wake up with every day as a Knicks fan. James Dolan, the team's infamous owner, has a sadistic knack for spitting in the face of logic and evidence and making decisions that should be seen as illegal. To outsiders, Dolan's reign can appear as an exercise in comic incompetence; ha, another dumb decision, silly guy! We on the frontlines of the War Against Happiness know, however, that he is not just a dunce who knocks everything over as he stumbles across the floor. He is a dangerous man who puts politics above the well-being of his subjects and who has the ability to inflict damage that will outlast him. While you could say the same for just about any president, W. lived those principles to the extreme.
So now, here I am, on the wrong side of the second term, wondering how the hell I let this—my Knicks fandom—last this long, how I allowed my life to be dictated by this jerk for the foreseeable future. I made this bed, James Dolan shat in it, and now I have to lie in a bed with a bunch of James Dolan's shit.
What about this year, though? Does it hold promise that things will be easier to get through, that my disappointment will be tempered? It's possible, but I doubt it. The health of Tyson Chandler and Amar'e Stoudemire are both in question, to the extent that Rasheed Wallace has been told to report for duty. Letting Jeremy Lin fly the coop and bringing in Raymond "The Felch" Felton and backup Jason Kidd is not a terrible basketball move, but neither one of those guys will be an X-factor, even if Felton returns to his previous Knicks-era level of production. Our shoot-em-up bench players, Steve Novak and J.R. Smith, will not see as many open looks as last year, both because defenses know not to leave them alone and Felton and Kidd don't have the ability to draw in defenses as well as Lin did.
The two players who, for my money, will decide the fate of the Knicks this year are Iman Shumpert and Carmelo Anthony. When Sophomore Shump returns from injury around January, he will hopefully bring the kind of defensive guard intensity he showed during his freshman campaign, the kind that straight up wins ball games down the stretch. Along with Chandler, he makes the Knicks a team that can score off turnovers, which they'll need to do. (For now, he'll continue harassing Andray Blatche.)
Of course, Carmelo Anthony is the man with the real weight of the world on his shoulders. Melo, as the only completely healthy star on the Knicks November 1 roster, will be the undisputed center of the team's offense, a role he relishes. If he can use the opportunity to become a true leader at both ends of the court, the Knicks could flourish along with him. But he will be working without much help for at least a month, and even though some might say he likes it that way, there's no denying that the Knicks cannot rely on him alone for too extended a period of time. I wish I were more confident that the team would be able to get off to a hot enough start to keep them in the mix into the spring, but I've learned that optimism is toxic for Knicks fans.
Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers
Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Voltorb
Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "[Knicks Suck Pun]!"- New York Post
Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Voltorb
Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "[Knicks Suck Pun]!"- New York Post
Headline we're most looking forward to: "Video: Shumpert and Blatche Pushing Fight Caught on Subway!"- WorldStarHipHop
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "Sorry James, you can't come in."
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