Friday, April 29, 2011

Question of the Day


Despite the truth that this first round has been downright thrilling since tipoff, will we remember it less fondly if the Grizzlies fail to make good on the promise implicit in their game four drubbing of the Spurs and lose in seven? Would we ultimately be disappointed if the only underdog victory was the Hawks semi-upset of the Magic? Or are competitive series, no matter the outcome, all we ask of lower seeds in the first round?

Thursday, April 28, 2011

NBA Middle Names: Mario Chalmers

We at No Regard spend a lot of time in our NBA knitting circles trying to figure out the human side of these players. Whether it's musing about their commutes to work, how much "Call of Duty" they play, or what their favorite snack food is, we like to remind ourselves that NBA players are nothing more than young men with enviable jobs. What better way to humanize our heroes than look up their middle names?



Almario Vernard Chalmers

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

If You See Something, Say Something: Double Standard


IYSSSS is our semi-regular Internet intelligence report, a liberal arts approach to following the NBA on the Web. E-mail us at jewsforjesusshuttlesworth@gmail.com if you've got any suggestions.

Brain on Funk Tumblr: So, I have just been made aware that Doc Funk is back captioning for the playoffs. This is honestly the only way I can think of for these playoffs to get even better.

@JohnCTownsend: I would imagine Gilbert finds it a little frustrating that everyone else is allowed is allowed to do finger gunz. Poor Gilbert.

Bethlehem Shoals at GQ's Balls Out Blog: Shoals' work at his GQ-housed playoff blog has been great all the way around, and is the current URL at which to find his best work and visit daily, but this conversation with David Roth (contributor to The Wall Street Journal and The Awl) is particularly strong. From their digression about Chris Webber's color commentary:
Shoals: He always takes risks. In the studio, it's being vulnerable. On the call, it's cutting loose in weird, creative ways that have as much to do with confidence and intelligence as they do with a lack of experience. It's like watch Walt Frazier find himself, but the floor's on fire and nobody has any idea how they got here in the first place.

Roth: His malaprops are basically psychedelic, but he makes some good calls—Indiana and Denver as mirror images of each other was an on-the-fly gem he just tossed off between weird syntactic decisions—and I think he's doing great. He leverages his credibility in a really interesting way.
Bill Simmons: Despite the monstrous word count and tired references to "The Real World" that have come to define Simmons' writing, this new joint on small market teams—specifically the Kings—is a pretty fair and restrained look at the borderline crisis the NBA is facing. Worth a skim. He also makes a Thelma & Louise reference, which was shocking, because I always thought the only movies Simmons had ever seen were Rounders, Boogie Nights, Shawshank Redemption, Top Gun and Cocktail (the last of which he does reference here). The over/under on how many movies he's seen has to be 12. (I love using Simmons gimmicks when writing about him.)

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Enchanted, Transported and Even Sometimes Devastated

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Monday, April 25, 2011

The Audacity of Z-Bo


The 2006-2007 Golden State Warriors were what I assume LSD is like. The experience of watching Don Nelson, Baron Davis and Stephen Jackson hijack the league for 12 days was mind-expanding in a way you normally only read about in Jack Kerouac books. And their "We Believe" mantra was fitting for a team trying to change the world during Obama's campaign. Nelson's lineup choices were as strong as Obama's email list, and Boom Dizzle's refusal to be anything less than great was downright presidential. Plus, there's a connection to be made somewhere between the flag lapel pin and the bullet fedora.


As much as that team stood for hope and change in a dedicated sports city that needed it, during an era that was starved for it, their breakup and subsequent waning also paralleled Barack's own struggle to unite and lead during his first term. Both promised a few too many revolutions to be able to follow through. Warriors fans must have felt like the ostracized LGBT community as they watched broken promises turn into missed playoffs.

But as Obama begins his second campaign, NBA fans have been gifted another team in which to place our optimism for a better world: The Memphis Grizzlies.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

100 Things We Learned This Season

1. Sometimes TV cameras do capture the torch being passed

2. President Obama knows how to pick a good head coach.

3. Commercials dealing with time travel are really tough to execute. It mainly has to do with the eyelines not matching.

4. Jalen Rose has strong feelings about Duke players. That's all we can say... because we're pretty sure we're not supposed to use that phrase.
5. Jalen Rose played beer pong in college, but he did not sell crack. But he knew where you could get crack.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

In Rajon We Trust

Bulls fans have D-Rose, and the Hornets have CP3 but us Celtics fans, we have Rajon Rondo. And after last evening's surgical performance in which his 20 assist, 11 rebound, 15 point, and 2 steal effort all but booked the Knicks plane tickets for vacation, he reminded us once again that he brings his game not just to a different level in the playoffs but to a different universe. Looks as if Boston's facilitator has gotten over his BFF being shipped to OKC and he's prepared to quarterback the Big 3 all the way to the finals. We love you over here, Bibby, and you're one of our own, but Rondo's dialed in and you're about to have your hands more than full in the next round.

Friday, April 22, 2011

NBA Middle Names: Amar'e Stoudemire

We at No Regard spend a lot of time in our NBA knitting circles trying to figure out the human side of these players. Whether it's musing about their commutes to work, how much "Call of Duty" they play, or what their favorite snack food is, we like to remind ourselves that NBA players are nothing more than young men with enviable jobs. What better way to humanize our heroes than look up their middle names?

Amar'e Carsares Stoudemire

Friday, April 15, 2011

Round 1 Coming Attractions: Pacers-Bulls

We here at No Regard love our stories. And the playoffs are where each narrative strand that was teased in the regular season is shredded or affirmed. So, here are the first round series as we see them. Thank you.


By mugsy2manute:


The Red Threat in the East never actually went away, it just got quieter for a few years. As a basketball town and team, Chicago is not to be trifled with. Sure, they had the inevitable, requisite post-Jordan rebuilding period, where not a lot happened, and then those adorable Baby Bulls, a favorite underdog of many. Between Ben Gordon and Kirk Hinrich launching threes from all angles of the court, and Tyrus Thomas attempting dunks, regardless of where he caught the ball, this team was fun; they had hutzpah.

But for Jerry Reinsdorf, Gar Forman and John Paxson, that could never be enough. These are not men who can be easily sated or mollified by scrappy victories or playoff appearances. No, these men have a slew of rings between them and when they construct a team, a championship is the goal in mind. The squad they've constructed is a fearless and balanced basketball team, one crafted with the precise goal to win one in and for Chicago. They are here to take back the territory they know belongs to them.

The Bulls have a smart, seemingly ego-less coach in Tom Thibodeau, who runs a tight ship. They play ruthlessly efficient offense and stifling defense. It's simple, half-court ball, the way playoffs and championships are usually won. They've got the undisputed (besides that missive from Stan the Man) MVP in hometown hero, Derrick Rose, who throughout the year has shown he can do just about everything on the basketball court. Carlos Boozer and Luol Deng lead a talented, versatile front court and Keith Bogans and Kyle Korver provide good enough perimeter play. These disparate pieces coming together create an estimable team. If you look close enough, you can see that Red Dawn on the horizon.

The first obstacle to that day is a decidedly mediocre Indiana Pacer team. Still living and playing in the lanky shadow of one Reggie M., they are finally forging a bit of an identity. Darren Collison and Danny Granger are two guys who can play excellent basketball (sometimes), while Roy Hibbert is a seven-footer who actually has some game. But besides these three and the perpetually angry, but productive Tyler Hansborough, they sorely lack the requisite gamers to lead a charge in these playoffs; but, they may well draw some blood. Like the Spartans at Thermopylae or those wily Wolverines of Calumet, Colorado, the Pacers will make a stand. How far it goes against these Bulls is yet to be seen.

Defining Quote
"...The Russians need to take us in one piece, and that's why they're here. That's why they won't use nukes anymore; and we won't either, not on our own soil. The whole damn thing's pretty conventional now. Who knows? Maybe next week will be swords."

Bulls in 5 

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

NBA Middle Names: Stephen Curry

We at No Regard spend a lot of time in our NBA knitting circles trying to figure out the human side of these players. Whether it's musing about their commutes to work, how much "Call of Duty" they play, or what their favorite snack food is, we like to remind ourselves that NBA players are nothing more than young men with enviable jobs. What better way to humanize our heroes than look up their middle names?


Wardell Stephen Curry II

Monday, April 11, 2011

Freedom in Darkness

I've been thinking a lot lately about why I watch sports. There are many reasons, of course, but one of them that I keep coming back to is the security provided by their consistency. Although the makeup of teams changes and the storylines evolve, every year, I can expect recognizable patterns to emerge once again. Come fall, I am filled with excitement about the approaching starts of the NFL and NBA seasons. This time of year, I look forward to the NBA playoffs, and I gear up for the dragging yet ultimately rewarding baseball season. And so on. These patterns, this yearly consistency, is something that has helped me deal with other changes in life, ensuring that I will always have a place to turn to when all else is changing in unexpected and sometimes terrifying ways.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Sunny Days

We're down to the nitty-gritty end of the regular season and the playoffs are dramatically close to finally starting. Sunny days are soon to come for all us NBA freaks and geeks. Be sure to check out No Regard for a look back at an incredible year and for a sneak peak at everyone's favorite second season.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

NBA Middle Names: Kevin Durant

We at No Regard spend a lot of time in our NBA knitting circles trying to figure out the human side of these players. Whether it's musing about their commutes to work, how much "Call of Duty" they play, or what their favorite snack food is, we like to remind ourselves that NBA players are nothing more than young men with enviable jobs. What better way to humanize our heroes than look up their middle names?


Kevin Wayne Durant

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