No Regard Presidential Previews: Los Angeles Lakers (Ronald Reagan)

Oh the season. Oh the season! Election or NBA, both are upon us. We're getting into the spirit by bringing you our season previews (with a little help from the presidents). One per day for the next 30 days—which will bring us to the Day of Reckoning. So please join us on the campaign trail as we shake hands, kiss babies and sink jumpers.

"Concentrated power has always been the enemy of liberty." - Ronald Reagan

Ronald Reagan would please ask that you stay out of his way.

On March 30, 1981, Ronald Reagan became the first sitting U.S. president to survive a gunshot wound from an assassination attempt. Following the attack, just 69 days into his presidency, Reagan's approval rating shot up to 73% and then he went on to be one of the most successful, accomplished, divisive presidents over the course of his two terms. Not sure what was in that bullet, but we'd all be so lucky to get some.

Jerry Buss would please ask that you stay out of his way.

On December 8, 2011, Jerry Buss became the first acting NBA owner to survive a vetoed trade at the hands of Commissioner (and at that time, owner) David Stern. Like Reagan (and Obi-Wan) before him,  Buss made the assassination attempt look foolish. If you strike down Dr. Jerry Buss, he will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine. Take away his all-star point guard before he even gets a chance to don the jersey? He'll go out and get a Hall of Fame point guard and supplant him with Dwight Howard. Then start talking about going after LeBron in two years. You make him share his revenue? Fine, he'll make you tax him into oblivion just to see who blinks first. He's small government to the death and will gladly enter an arms race at the mention of another team's dynasty. We should all be so lucky.

There's a lot here: A Hollywood President. Reaganomics. Phil Jackson as Reagan's early Democratic tendencies. Reagan's War on Drugs and the fact that War on Drugs (the band) are huge NBA fans. Guys, it's all there if we just believe.

And then, there's Lakers fans and Young Republicans, who are probably all the same people. I guess Republicans read blogs, too, but you all seem crazy and entitled. I'm sorry. (I'm not sorry.)

Sorry, to ignore the actual basketball team that the Lakers are trotting out this year, but they are scary and I'm still getting better at facing my problems head on. Bedtime for Bonzo? More like bedtime for the rest of the league. We're all in trouble.

Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers

Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Mewtwo

Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Kobe and Dwight and Nash and Pau and World Peace"

Headline we're most looking forward to: "Nash Takes Leave of Absence to Chase MLS Cup With Henry"[Ed. - We'll never stop this campaign.]

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "I give up."