In Flight Change

Here at No Regard, we have a strange relationship with the movie Just Wright. It's a basketball movie starring Common, Queen Latifah, some other people, and Dwight Howard. Our relationship is strange in that we love it, and yet none of us have seen it. All of that changed yesterday. On a plane bound for Texas, Endless Pat was presented with the unavoidable opportunity to witness this small miracle: Just Wright in flight. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Well, he did.

LIVE BLOGGING IN-FLIGHT FILM REVIEW: JUST WRIGHT

- First things first. Who doesn’t love a good punny title? I mean honestly, raise your hand if you think you’re above a good old-fashioned character-name-including movie title? Now you, with your hand raised? Go watch Octopussy. Right now. I’ll wait.

- Common’s character name is Scott McKnight (I’ll be calling him Common). He’s a point guard for the Nets (who in this universe, win games and don’t have Brook Lopez) and is inexplicably good. No particular part of his game is emphasized, we’re just made aware that he can dribble while looking up-court and when he shoots, the ball has a habit of going in (we know this because we get a cut to close up of the hoop).

- Common hurt his knee in the All-Star game. Marv Albert, from courtside, is convinced “this is the kind of injury you don’t see guys get up from.” He may as well not go see a doctor, Marv knows what he’s talking about. Just stay down.

- Dwight Howard just had a good-pal-drop-in visit to the recovering Common to drop an important plot point. Watching him act is like watching him compete in the three point contest left handed. Mega awesome.

- Apparently NBA teams don’t have any communication with injured players with regards to contract negotiations in a resigning year. Especially not “two-time MVPs” (yeah, that ball just dropped). That’s why we have "Mike and Mike."

- They’re at Rucker and I’m confused. Common is a Net who “grew up dreaming of being a Net” but he is now reminiscing about “practicing for hours [at Rucker]… hoping I could one day make it to the NBA.” Last I checked, they keep Rucker up in Harlem and New York has its very own under-performing basketball team. Is Common the only kid in NY who had Jersey aspirations or is he just terrifically bad at geography?

- They just worked in a “Common plays piano and Queen Latifah sings along to the song she coincidentally knows” scene… and they gave up on it after like two bars? Don’t tease me Hollywood. These two better have a collab on the soundtrack.

- “Who would I be without basketball?” – Common. Answer: A very successful, syrupy-crooning rapper. Also, you’d occasionally be in movies.

- Exterior shot of the Izod Center. Not swinging around it from a helicopter above. Not a dramatic shot from the concrete, carefully framing the stairs into the foreground. Basically the same establishing shot they use at the end of furniture store commercials to make sure you can read the sign. Seems appropriate.

- Dwyane Wade cameo. Mostly him slashing and dunking around fictional NBA players. Oooh, he just mentioned calling Common but didn’t drop that he’s in his Fave 5. Seems like a missed opportunity.

- I’m extremely happy with the pep-talk-spurred scoring surge Common just threw down over D. Wade. I’m extremely confused as to why it was underscored by speed metal. Someone send the editor of this movie a picture of Snoop Dogg playing in the Celebrity All-Star Game. Better still: Common playing in the Celebrity All-Star Game.

- Common and Queen Latifah are at a jazz club. After dinner they apparently did it and in the morning we get a whole montage of her dancing in bed under her sheets. Yeah, there’s lots of not basketball going on right now.

- Okay, I probably should have mentioned this by now, but Common lives in a fucking castle. I know NBA players make a lot of money, but this is basically Hogwarts. In Manhattan. I suppose it’s possible that point guards for the New Jersey Nets make dollars that would shame Trump, but I feel like maybe they don’t.

- Uh oh. So at this point he’s giving terrible chick that left him when he got hurt (at the beginning) another chance. The movie doesn’t really go to any trouble to provide a motivation, other than casting an actress that looks like this. I’m mostly ok with it.

- Elton Brand cameo re: phone message! The B-reel they showed of him while it played is the most exciting six seconds of ball I’ve seen a Sixer without the initials AI play in years.

- Brand just finished giving a tour and chatting with the now sought after trainer, Latifah (Common publicly credited her for his recovery and we all saw the pep talk), courting her for Philly. This sort of thing definitely happens.

- BOOM! HOUSTON WE HAVE A DOG! Common just said “You’re just right for me” in the climactic romance scene. I fucking love this movie. I just pray there’s a Best Buy open 24 hours in the DFW airport so I can hunt down the Blu-ray when I land.

- Nets vs Magic in the Eastern Conference Finals. This is fun fiction… and it’s over. Seriously, it was like a 24 second montage that had about a shot and a half of Dwight dunk/smiling. This movie is really all about minimally realizing its own best ideas.

- I’m just noticing that Common’s shot is like that of a less athletic Grant Hill. Like, if Grant Hill were less of a basketball player and more of a rapper.

- Credits. Cue the Common track. I’m left wondering if Common’s crossover is more or less successful than Marquis Daniels’ foray into rap. Wait, Common just worked the rhyme “just right” into his flow. He wins.