Who'd You Get?!: Patrick Ewing, Topps Stadium Club (1994)

We at No Regard used to collect basketball cards. Convincing a parent to shuttle us and our friends to the local collector's shop was a consistently important victory. When we found out KMart was selling entire boxes for $20, we almost wore out our bike tires pedaling back and forth.

Now we've unearthed the cache, and the results are stunning. We've been reminded that players named Dino Radja and Wesley Person briefly and forcefully carved out steady roles for themselves in the league. We've been straight tickled by the goofy casual pics. And we've been touched and inspired by the relentless optimism of the copywriters. We hope you enjoy this odd time capsule, a Utopian angle from which to view the league, where everyone is the next somebody and context is pointless.

 Back of the card after the jump.

There's A #Wordaapp For That

Is Nate Robinson back? Equivocally, yes! After disappearing with the OKC Thunder last season, Nate's found a new home in the Bay Area. Where, of course, "We're not gonna accept mediocrity, we're not gonna accept not getting it done on the floor." Nate has reaped the benefits of Mark Jackson's coaching. He's averaging just about 11 points and 5 assists per game this season.

To celebrate Nate's comeback (although he'd prefer you don't call it a comeback), No Regard takes a look back at some of the best moments in Nate's storied career.

No Regard Recap: We Did It!

One Game We Watched Last Night: Boston Celtics vs. Orlando Magic

Celtics: 87, Magic: 56

In previewing this game, I practically dropped to my hands and knees and begged the Boston Celtics to create a video tribute honoring Big Baby's time as a Celtic. My favorite team's video department came through! The video was short, but it is the best video of all time.



The game itself was strange. The Cs were without established film actor Ray Allen and established commercial actor Rajon Rondo. Seemingly undermanned, the Celtics entrusted their point and shooting guard duties to Avery Bradley and Sasha Pavlovic respectively. They did not disappoint. Neither did Brandon "Big-Mouth Billy" Bass or Paul Pierce, who each dropped 19 in the victory. Pierce was as fit as he has been all season, playing the role of both facilitator and scorer.

Orlando's offensive was, simply stated, completely inept and only scored a scant 56 points. In his return, Big Baby shot 2-9 from the field, but was able to nab a respectable 11 rebounds. As a team, the Magic shot 26% from the field and could only manage 20 second half points. It was an ugly affair.

The story of the night, though, was of course the video tribute. It significantly over-shadowed the game. It was much celebrated by Glen Davis, the Magic (despite an abysmal performance), the Celtics and the entire NBA community.

One Game We Did Not Watch Last Night: Dallas Mavericks vs. Phoenix Suns

Mavs: 93, Suns: 87

#FREESTEVENASH!

No Regard Preview: Video Tributes For Life

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Boston Celtics vs. Orlando Magic

The best part about players returning to their former teams' home arenas for the first time is trying to determine if the organization prepared a video tribute for the ex-whoever or not. Recently, when the Celtics welcomed back Perkins, they did so with this fantastic montage. It was emotional, awesome and super dope, all wrapped up into a video tribute. The Lakers gave Odom one as well.

Orlando is at Boston tonight, which means Big Baby is back in TD Bank North Garden. As such, I sit here nervously pondering if Glen will get the same respect and treatment as Perk. If it were up to me, I'd give every player a video tribute every night. Derrick Favors back in Newark? You bet your ass video tribute. Mr. Candace Parker back in Atlanta (dropped 5.5 a game as a rookie, a career high), Sacramento, Minnesota, Boston or New York? Video tribute, all day, please.

Sure, Perkins and Davis had significantly different careers with the Celtics. Perk was around from '03-'11, was a critical rebounder and defender, and bolstered a physical frontline that helped the team win a title. Conversely, Baby played from '07-'11, came off the bench, was inconsistent throughout and took a serious nosedive in terms of production towards the end of last season. On the plus side, he hit a game winner against Orlando in the playoffs and then accidentally barrelled over a young Orlando fan, he let Nate Robinson climb on his back and he was always hustling and taking charges.

Those reasons seem good enough for me: I expect a video tribute tonight and will turn off the TV if I do not get one.

One Game We May Or May Not Watch: Dallas Mavericks vs. Phoenix Suns


Right, Nash has played a bunch of games in Dallas since leaving the Mavericks in 2004, but they should really consider trotting out a video tribute for him tonight. They should put one together each time he comes back to Dallas. And actually, the Mavs should also throw up a video tribute to Dirk before every game, too. And the Suns should do that for Nash also. OK: Before every single game Nash or Dirk plays in, the arena should fire up a video tribute. Because they are the best. Just look at them up there.

Who'd You Get?!: Dikembe Mutombo, Fleer Ultra (1996)

We at No Regard used to collect basketball cards. Convincing a parent to shuttle us and our friends to the local collector's shop was a consistently important victory. When we found out KMart was selling entire boxes for $20, we almost wore out our bike tires pedaling back and forth.

Now we've unearthed the cache, and the results are stunning. We've been reminded that players named Dino Radja and Wesley Person briefly and forcefully carved out steady roles for themselves in the league. We've been straight tickled by the goofy casual pics. And we've been touched and inspired by the relentless optimism of the copywriters. We hope you enjoy this odd time capsule, a Utopian angle from which to view the league, where everyone is the next somebody and context is pointless.

 Back of the card after the jump.

No Regard Previews: The Good Ol' Days

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Miami Heat vs. San Antonio Spurs

About five years ago, LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers bested the bullies of the East, the Pistons, and earned themselves a spot in the finals to play against the juggernaut that was the Tim Duncan-led San Antonio Spurs. Today, LeBron James and the Miami Heat host the San Antonio Spurs, a team that sports some of the same pieces it did when they swept the the King's Cavs in convincing fashion many moons ago.

With Wade out due to an ankle injury, this Heat team is not so different than that '06-'07 Cleveland team. Yes, Bosh is an upgrade from Big Z and Coach Spo is significantly more interested in trading for Fruit Roll-Ups at lunchtime than Mike Brown ever was, but the similarities exist. Is Super Nintendo Chalmers not Boobie Gibson 2.0? Does Andy V. not possess some of the glue-guy type qualities that makes Udonis Haslem so valuable? And I like to pretend that Scott Pollard and Juwan Howard can somehow be compared.

Regardless, the point is that without Wade, LeBron is playing the role of quarterback, wide-receiver and running back once again. Back in that first finals season, LBJ averaged 27 points, nearly 7 rebounds and 6 assists per game. This campaign, some of which has been sans older-bro Dwayne, the King's numbers are even sicker: 29.5, 8.2, and 7.4 per game, respectively.

Do not get me wrong: No one is a bigger fan of the fact that LeBron went on television for an hour to tell the world that he was going to play basketball with his friends. But part of me misses the good old days when he was the Cleveland Cavaliers. Every game was the LeBron show and the deeper they got in the playoffs, the more intriguing it was to see if he could carry Erik Snow and Drew Gooden to glory.

Tonight, when the Spurs invade Miami, I'll get slight a reminder of what it was like watching the '06-'07 LeBron Jameses. And I always enjoy a good one-man band.


One Game We Probably Won't Watch Tonight (Even Though We'd Kind Of Like To): Houston Rockets vs. Detroit Pistons

We are not shy when it comes to sharing our undying love for Larry Frank. And for some odd reason, we have taken a similar liking to the concept of Kevin McHale coaching in the NBA. The motivation for the former is pretty simple and we have a solid understanding of it: He was top dog with the Nets and had relative success, is one of the biggest basketball nerds in the world, originates from New Jersey and reminds us of ourselves when we were in 6th grade (doing our best to turn a bunch of stale Fritos into a decent PB&J). The latter obsession is not as clear cut to us. We thought McHale was a decent analyst on TNT, but his hiring as the Rockets head coach freakishly fascinates and amuses us. I honestly can't figure it out why, but it's the truth and I think it probably says something about how we view the NBA. (And the simple fact may be that we view the NBA like a bunch of idiots, but that's our bull to lasso, not yours.)

This game pits some pretty dysfunctional offensive clubs against one another in what probably won't be the most entertaining game of the season. But since one of my resolutions for 2012 was to try and view situations positively, perhaps Luis Scola will drop 50 points and Larry Frank will get ejected for charging the court in the 4th quarter.

Also, we're obsessed with Scola, too, but we know why. We watched him a ton that one summer wheel and deal for Argentina and were beyond impressed. He's brimming with game from head to toe and if he did not play for the Rockets he would compete to be an All-Star every year. That and the hair. It's mostly the hair.

NBA Middle Names: DeAndre Jordan

We at No Regard spend a lot of time in our NBA knitting circles trying to figure out the human side of these players. Whether it's musing about their commutes to work, how much "Call of Duty" they play, or what their favorite snack food is, we like to remind ourselves that NBA players are nothing more than young men with enviable jobs. What better way to humanize our heroes than look up their middle names? 

Hyland DeAndre Jordan Jr.

If You See Something, Say Something: Giraffes, Secret Gardens and Petro's Game

IYSSSS is our semi-regular Internet intelligence report, a liberal arts approach to following the NBA on the Web. E-mail us at jewsforjesusshuttlesworth@gmail.com if you've got any suggestions.

LeBron James is Not Taller Than a Giraffe: After recently purchasing a stake in the historic English football club Liverpool, LeBron James headed across the pond to check out his investment in person. This video details the highlights of the King's trip, which includes meeting Liverpool skipper Steven Gerrard and attending a Manchester United-Liverpool match. Skip ahead to the end of the spot to "Small Talk" in which LeBron is grilled by a group of English kids. Questions like, "LeBron, shouldn't your first name be James?" and "LeBron, have you always been tall?" keep the Miami Heat superstar on his toes. LBJ does confirm that he is in fact, not taller than a giraffe.

Our Favorite Canadian's Secret: Here's another neat video worth watching! This NBA.com player profile takes a peak into Steve Nash's lifestyle, specifically his work ethic, diet and fitness regime. While Thunder Dan Majerle believes Steve's success comes from his insatiable desire to be the best, Channing Frye has his own theory: He hypothesizes that Nash has a "secret garden of magical fruits and vegetables" that has kept him fit late into his 30s. I tend to agree with Frye.

Jay-Z's Value to the Brooklyn Nets: The New Jersey Nets are struggling and Jay-Z just became a new father. But as the Nets continue to prepare for their move across two rivers, the entertainment mogul won't let either of these variables affect his strong influence over almost all the decisions being made by the franchise. From providing opinions on jersey colors to weighing in on architectural design questions, it's clear that Hova is more concerned about the Nets going 0-82 than he lets on.

Johan Petro's Fascinating Story: We leave you with Johan Petro's website, http://www.johanpetro27.com. Not wanting to give away too many of the treasures this Internet goldmine contains, here's how Petro's game is described in the biography section: "When you describe the prototypical NBA center, he is not complete without superlative size, strength and athleticism. He'll fight for rebounds in the trenches, but is just as quick to burn you with a shot from 15 feet. Johan Petro possesses all these skills and more, and bears all the promise of fulfilling his vast potential." That pretty much sums up exactly how I feel about Petro's game. Wait, I'm sorry, I forgot who we're talking about.