Team Dreamin' 2011: Minnesota Timberwolves

At No Regard, we love basketball. We love the spectacle and strategy of the game, but sometimes the league's lack of imagination confounds and disappoints us. Call us optimists, visionaries, or kids who watched too much Space Jam, but we have ideas. Damn are we gonna share 'em.

If there was one thing I loved about being home sick from school when I was a kid, it was watching some kind of trick shot competition on ESPN2—pool, bowling, didn’t matter—it was all awesome. Okay, I also really liked watching Lifetime Original Movies when I was home sick, but you can only sit through Fifteen and Pregnant (starring Kirsten Dunst) so many times.

But back to trick shots. The Timberwolves haven’t been to the playoffs in over five years, and they don't have much of a chance to make it this year, but what they do have is Kevin Love. And if there is one thing he is good at, it is trick shots.

Anyone watching videos of Kevin Love sinking outrageous shots (like these) can see that he would be a beast of an opponent in H-O-R-S-E. So here’s my proposal: To keep things interesting, I say at Minnesota home games they get rid of free-throws and replace them with a round of H-O-R-S-E starring Kevin Love.

What I’m proposing here is not just a normal game of H-O-R-S-E, it’s more like H-O-R-S-E combined with the Daily Double from "Jeopardy" and also some old school, "Rock 'N' Jock" style awesomeness. Here’s how it would work:

The bulk of the game is business as usual, until at some point in the first half, someone goes to the line and prepares himself for a free throw. But then, all of a sudden, the lights get low and that unmistakable *pew pew* Daily Double laser noise floods the speakers of the stadium (and who knows, maybe Marky Mark would come out rapping, eventually taking off his pants). So now the other team is presented with a choice, make it a true Daily Double and wager all of the points the team has scored so far on a trick shot going up against Kevin Love, or be incredibly boring and only wager one or two points.

Then for the second half of the game (Double Jeopardy) there would be two hidden Daily Doubles at the free throw line.

So, Timberwolves, I don’t think this is going to help you see the final rounds of this year’s playoffs, but it would make the regular season games way more fun to watch. Think about it.