Which one is it???If you offered me $1000, I still wouldn't have a prayer at being able to name the head coach of the Memphis Grizzlies. That's saying a lot coming from a guy who likes this league so much that the Celtics-76ers preseason game held my imagination for a good 20 minutes the other night.
And no, I'm not going to "look it up," because that would lessen the impact of my already paper-thin argument. But also because it doesn't really matter, does it? If I don't know him, then chances are he lacks the gravitas to lead this charmingly athletic group of pranksters to anything grander then a first-round playoff exit. That's the ceiling of this team, while the basement really isn't that much lower (maybe 10 games below .500?) owing to the pseudo-glut of young guns.
Hence, a jump-start is in order. Let's fire up the defibrillators, Grizzlies, and...
Become the first NBA team to crowd-source your coaching.
Fire whoever it is that Zach Randolph and Rudy Gay have been ignoring during practice and hire the candidate who possesses more knowledge, passion, and balls than any coach to ever habitate the sidelines: The people.
Hire a social networking guru to set up a "Memphis Grizzlies Coaching" account on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and whatever else he or she thinks prudent. Then, blanket the pages with polls so fans can vote to determine player rotations, offensive pace, defensive schemes, and overall team identity. Then, during actual games, let this web 2.0 mob mentality decide on substitutions, play calls, defensive assignments, and everything else. Set up an intra-arena voting system to give greater weight to the opinions of those in attendance, but let viewers at home join in on the democracy in real-time as well.
Think Hasheem Thabeet and his sprightly athleticism should start at center over Marc Gasol to cover for Randolph's lethargy? Then vote that way. Believe that eschewing traditional positions altogether and starting five swingmen is the best way to prey on unsuspecting teams with greater talent? Say so. Want the team to start wearing their shorts and jerseys backwards and hire Kriss Kross to perform old jazz standards during each stoppage of play? Me too, but no one's ever listened, until now.
The result of this transition of power would be greater fan interest than the Grizzlies, or any other organization, have ever experienced. Plus, supporters would have no reason to take to sports radio or ESPN comments sections to voice outrage over a limp coach with unimaginative ideas, because it's all on them. The more enterprising fans could host rallies to gain support for the "Turn Mike Conely Into The Mascot" movement; passionate Grizzlies backers could canvass neighborhoods, informing the uninitiated about a young gentleman named Xavier Henry.
Memphis would bloom into a utopia of progressive basketball ideas. The Grizzlies would enjoy not only on-court success, but a new-found satisfaction in working directly for the fans. At All-Star Weekend David Stern would hold a press conference to commend the organization, then announce that the league was adopting the crowd-sourcing approach for one of their own tasks: The Collective Bargaining Agreement negotiations.
Because honestly, give us a crack at saving the league, it belongs to us.
I worry that if we let Memphis fans choose a coach, they're going to pick Elvis.
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