New Orleans Food Recommendations for Anthony Davis

About half of the No Regard crew (and a few of our other best friends) took a trip down to New Orleans the weekend prior to the draft lottery. One of our old friends got married and it was wonderful. We ate and drank and lived far above our means and generally won the weekend. 

Then, wouldn’t you know it, just two days after we return north, the New Orleans Hornets snag the first pick in the draft, ensuring a future filled with Anthony Davis. I assume our trip to NOLA is mostly responsible. (Related: Next year I’m going to make everyone I know spend the weekend prior to the Draft Lottery in Park Slope to try and work our voodoo on the Nets' chances in the draft.)

Even though the profusion of “Free Payton” shirts made the town come off as more of a football town than anything, Davis will have run of the place after a few monstrous-block-to-more-monstrous-alley-oop highlights. Anthony, you’re going to own the city. With your popularity and bank account, you’ll be able to go anywhere you please. But sometimes having too many options can lead to uninspired choices. So I’m here to help you out, kid. Here are five dishes/drinks that you’ve got to enjoy when you get to New Orleans.

1. Barbequed Shrimp at Mr. B’s

It’s the sauce. Oh god is it the sauce. This right here is the crown jewel.

 

New Orleans occupies its own nook—culinary galaxies away from Texas and Kansas City and Memphis and the Carolinas—so barbequed shrimp for them means Worcestershire sauce, lemon juice, creole seasoning and enough butter to make Paula Deen proud. It’s a sauce that is forceful and complex, subtle and comforting, novel and sincere. The intricacy could be intimidating, but is instead relaxing, like another dose of morphine.

An order arrives with big, full shrimp—eyeballs and all—smiling up at you because they know this sauce has lifted their existence to a much greater platform. They matter now. They matter more than any other shellfish, more than any other seafood, more than any other gastronomic work, more than any other human achievement. They are smiling because they know this and can’t wait for you to find out. In life, these shrimp were faceless bugs, drowning each day in the Gulf. In death, they are crustacean kings, regal ambassadors for New Orleans cuisine. Their new flavor inspires renaissance after renaissance on your tongue.

Anthony: You might as well skip getting a house and live inside the restaurant. Once you arrive in New Orleans, ask the well-coifed wait staff if you can sleep in one of the plush booths and mainline the sauce until the preseason starts. Yes, you’ll be way out of shape, but you’ll also learn greatness.

Other Tasty Options On The Menu: Gumbo ya ya; a sazerac.

2. Crawfish Beignets at Three Muses

Look. I missed some of the classic New Orleans dishes, because they have about a thousand classic New Orleans dishes down there. I didn’t have a po boy. I didn’t have any jambalaya. And I didn’t have a traditional beignet. But, I did have this crawfish beignet.

And it was hella tasty. Fried and very crunchy on the outside, soft and very crawfishy on the inside. The sweet and sour remoulade it was served with was like the best version of that sauce that you get with a Bloomin’ Onion.

Other Tasty Options On The Menu: Sweet potato gnocchi with smoked mushroom marinara, arugula and feta; whatever homemade ice cream flavors they have that day.

3. Bloody Mary at Igor’s Checkpoint Charlie

Anthony, I know you’re only 19. And actually, this is the one bar I can remember carding our group when we tumbled in at 2:00 pm and ordered drinks to sustain us for the next leg of our walk. But I doubt you’ll have trouble getting a drink here (or anywhere in the city for that matter). This corner dive doubles as a laundromat and serves the best Bloody Mary I enjoyed while in NOLA (and I enjoyed many).

The big, scuffed up jug of juice that was pulled out of a dark corner behind the bar seemed a bit suspect, but the place clearly fills that thing with care. The flavor of the tomato base hits all the notes necessary for a good bloody (spice, pepper, horseradish, you know the things), but it's also pretty complex. You fall into the drink a little bit with each sip. And the green olives and pickled green beans are delicious, life-sustaining calories.

It's also strong enough to give you a new world view when you reemerge into the Louisiana sunlight.

Other Tasty Options On The Menu: Don’t know, a second bloody I guess?

4. Milkshake at The Orange Couch

Anthony, you need to bulk up. Or you could just drink a bunch of milkshakes and get kinda fat. That'll work too. Go mint chocolate chip.

Other Tasty Options On The Menu: Espresso.

5. Chocolate Chip Bread Pudding at Calcasieu

The private dining branch of Cochon—one of the consensus picks for top NOLA restaurant—Calcasieu might as well become one of your regular destinations. The food's incredible, price isn't a concern of yours anymore and you'll surely need to accommodate a few hanger-ons here and there. (Just know that the coffee isn't included with the prix fixe, it's extra.)

Other Tasty Options On The Menu: Pan braised catfish courtbouillon smotherd with tomatoes, peppers and fresh basil; crawfish pie.