No Regard Recap: Ever Since The Weigh In, I Knew He Was Petro

One Game We Watched Last Night: Indiana Pacers vs. New Jersey Nets

Pacers: 108, Nets: 94

No one will believe me, but there was a 60-second stretch last night when Johan Petro made three positive plays in a row. Honestly. This happened. I rewound the DVR four times to make sure. In the second quarter, the Pacers secured a defensive rebound and got an outlet pass to Louis Amundson. Petro, trailing, changed his path, cut off Amundson from behind and blocked the layup attempt. I swear. On the following trip back down the court, he parked himself at the right elbow, caught a pass, squared his shoulders and made a jumper. This is true. The Pacers then got the ball down to the other end, someone missed a shot and Petro (I swear) got the rebound. This is all true. (But I will admit, I just checked the box score again to make sure he recorded at least one rebound. He did.) He then made a few boneheaded plays that forced Avery to yank him, but I mean, when you play with woefully uncoordinated French fire, you're going to get burned.

Oh, also, Mr. Candace Parker played great, despite the 1-9 shooting. Really, he played very good defense.

Another also: Free Jordan Farmar.

One Game We Didn't Watch Last Night: Milwaukee Bucks vs. Denver Nuggets





Bucks: 86, Nuggets: 91

No Regard Preview: Work To Be Done

One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Indiana Pacers vs. New Jersey Nets

You know how going to work is the worst? How even if you have a pretty alright job, going to work in the morning is the worst? So does Deron Williams. He has to go to work every day and pass the ball to Johan Petro, who is bad at catching basketballs.

So you know what? Johan Petro also probably hates going to work because he's very under-qualified for the job he's been hired to do, and his work day is televised.

In fact, right now all the Nets look like they hate going to work. I don't blame them, it's been awful for us fans as well. But tonight we're all going back. I hope there's at least a birthday today so I get a cupcake.


One Game We Probably Won't Watch Tonight: Milwaukee Bucks vs. Denver Nuggets

I would love to watch this game. Love to. But I'm just trying to be honest here. A holiday week was an odd time for the season to start. Family commitments, friend commitments and drinking commitments have prevented me from watching many games other than my Netsies. So as much as I'd love to check in on the Brandon Jennings-Stephen Jackson Tower of Terror (and seriously, I can't wait to see what this looks like), I just don't have enough eyeballs.

Tonight I need to check in on Greg Monroe and Jonas Jerebko as they try and not let Dwight grab every rebound ever made. I need to watch Mike D'Antoni drool over the most Mike D'Antoni player ever in Andrea Bargnani. I need to be reminded that Ricky Rubio is real. I need to see if the Mavs are ready to prove how important the second win of a season can be. I need to learn what Enes Kanter looks like. I need to find out what new vaccine LeBron and Wade have invented for tonight. Heck, I even feel compelled to see what new way the Washington Wizards have found to waste talent.

There's just too much I haven't seen yet in this young season to spend any time peeping Nene and Bogut bump into each other. And that's after I watch the Nets lose another one.

No Regard 2011-2012 Season Previews: Western Conference

The 2011-2012 NBA season has started. Since we're just as confused as you are as to how this squished and truncated season is going to play out, we won't try our hand at stats or scouting reports, but instead stick with what we know: the Proust Questionnaire and oddly prescient "Calvin and Hobbes" strips. Find out which teams make the playoffs, which teams are lottery bound, and which players are best equipped to hold the conch—all after the jump!

1. Oklahoma City Thunder

Projected Record: 56-10

Calvin and Hobbes Comic Strip:

Player We'd Give the Conch Shell to in the Locker Room: Kevin Durant

Headline We'll Be Sick Of Reading: "Thunder Win Despite Durant-Westbrook Spat"

Headline We Are Most Rooting For: "Harden Wins Sixth Man Award, Embraces Metapod Nickname"

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?: "Seriously Russell, you can slow down on the Cheetos, you'll have plenty of time up here to enjoy those things."

No Regard 2011-2012 Season Previews: Eastern Conference

The 2011-2012 NBA season starts on Sunday. Since we're just as confused as you are as to how this squished and truncated season is going to play out, we won't try our hand at stats or scouting reports, but instead stick with what we know: the Proust Questionnaire and oddly prescient "Calvin and Hobbes" strips. Find out which teams make the playoffs, which teams are lottery bound, and which players are best equipped to hold the conch—all after the jump!

Words by Pete, Comic Currating by Andrew

1. Miami Heat

Projected Record: 56-10

Calvin and Hobbes Comic Strip:

Player We'd Give the Conch Shell to in the Locker Room: Super Nintendo Chalmers

Headline We'll Be Sick Of Reading: "Bosh's Work In Weight Room Pays Off"

Headline We Are Most Rooting For: "Juwan Howard Hits Game-Winning Half-Court Shot, Retires"

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?: "Thought you could win seven rings without asking Me, huh?  Big mistake. And I don't even like the Mavs."

 

NBA Middle Names: Chris Kaman

We at No Regard spend a lot of time in our NBA knitting circles trying to figure out the human side of these players. Whether it's musing about their commutes to work, how much "Call of Duty" they play, or what their favorite snack food is, we like to remind ourselves that NBA players are nothing more than young men with enviable jobs. What better way to humanize our heroes than look up their middle names?

Christopher Zane Kaman

Question(s) of the Day: LA Edition

NBA fans everywhere got out of bed this morning, barrelled down their stairs, and barked out a joyous,"Yipeee!" as they started their day. Word that Chris Paul would be joining the Clip Show broke late last night and dreaming of him paired alongside Blake Griffin is about as appetizing as it gets to the NBA geek and casual fan alike. To celebrate, we've compiled a list of questions that came to mind when we heard the news. Please note that these questions regard not only the Clippers but the entire Los Angeles basketball scene:

Bibby's World: Written in Stone

In the past year, I have had the pleasure of calling myself an Atlanta Hawk, a Washington Wizard, a Miami Heat, and now a New York Knick. I know that each time I've been traded, I've said that my new home has been the thing I've always wanted, but THIS TIME I mean it.

If You See Something, Say Something: Bullies, Bibby and Starbury For Life!

IYSSSS is our semi-regular internet intelligence report, a liberal arts approach to following the NBA on the Web. E-mail us at jewsforjesusshuttlesworth@gmail.com if you've got any suggestions.

Starbury Dominating Life in China: Fear not, Stephon Marbury lovers, the former Lincoln High School superstar is having his cake on the other side of the world, and crushing it too. According to William Rhoden's New York Times piece, Steph writes for a local paper, is a therapist to the other American players in China, is at peace with his life, and has an amazing apartment. All while averaging 22.3 points per game and leading the Beijing Ducks to an undefeated season to date. Get some, Steph.

David Stern Demands Lunch Money: According to this ESPN.com article, Deron Williams isn't so fond of the commissioner's propensity to give wedgies, push other kids on the playground and smoke cigarettes on school grounds. "You're fighting a bully, man. David Stern is a bully," the superstar guard stated when asked about the Chris Paul situation. Williams did confirm, though, that he does have at least one ally at school: "But I have friends, like, Dwight's my friend, so if I wanna call him and talk to him, I'm gonna call him and talk to him."

No Regard Staffer Joins Knicks!: Popular NBA blogger Mike Bibby has a new team and a fresh start in New York City. The former member of the Grizzles, Kings, Hawks, Wizards and Heat stated that he's "always wanted to play for Mike D'Antoni," in this YouTube video. We couldn't be happier for our special little guy and we expect to hear from the man himself soon!

Clippers Seeking CP3 For Two Reasons: With the Lakers no longer in play, the Clip Show is apparently doing its best to land the most wanted point guard in the league, according to this NBA.com article. If you like players with two first names and alley-oops, check out the 2011-2012 Los Angeles Clippers!