Also, I realized that if I could invite three people, living or dead, to dinner, these three guys would all be at the absolute bottom of the list. No thank you to any of this.
That is all.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
A Quick Thought on Last Night
Thursday, November 22, 2012
No Regard Mashed Potato Power Rankings
Thanksgiving affords Americans a brief but slow-roasted moment to take stock of our lives and consider our blessings. Also, there's mashed potatoes! Here, we present you the first annual No Regard Mashed Potato Power Rankings, the list of guys we think make the best mashed potatoes. Happy Thanksgiving.
NBA Things I'm Thankful For
Last night I attended the Celtics 12-point loss to the Spurs. I used to live in Boston and went to Cs games all the time during the 2009-10 season (cheaper cost of living = more disposable income!), and being back at the TD Garden with one of my best friends from my time living there just felt like home. As such, I got the corny idea to make a list of NBA things I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving, both about the game last night and the NBA in general. Enjoy!
Monday, November 19, 2012
Monday Morning Dance Therapy: Vintage DeMarcus
Monday mornings are tough. As the work week starts, we often need something to pick us up and remind us that things are going to be okay. That something is NBA players and other hoops figures dancing. This weekly column celebrates one of the finest things in life and gives you the kickstart you need to get the week started on the right foot.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
No Regard Previews: Alliteration
One Game We Will Definitely Watch Tonight: Brooklyn Nets vs. Boston Celtics
No doubt beaming about their first opportunity to meet the BrooklyKnight in person, Doc Rivers and the gang head to what is affectionately known as "BK" tonight for an Atlantic Conference showdown with the Nets (formerly of New Jersey, FYI). The dubious storyline for tonight's basketball match is the health of the ever-spectacular, Rajon Rondo. If he suits up, fans will be treated to a game of point-guard chess between two of the world's best round-ball quarterbacks. If Rondo is in formal wear on the bench, then Deron Williams and Joe Johnson should be able to "run this town tonight." That's a Jay-Z lyric, FYI. He's part owner of the Nets, FYI.
Either way, Rondo will likely make the trip, look his best and beam outwardly when he accepts an autograph from the world's most important mascot, the BrooklyKnight.
Both Brooklyn and Boston are coming off victories in their previous basketball contests. The Cs put the ball in the hoop more frequently than the Jazz last night while the Nets did the same against the Cavaliers a few evenings ago.
Some other food for thought: Who will guard Paul Pierce? While Joe Johnson definitely has the size, one has to wonder if he's a skilled enough marksman (yeah, that word makes sense for a defender also) to slow down the always clever, never predictable Pierce. Word around the grapevine is that rebounds are important too, in winning games, so it should be tantalizing to watch and see if KG can slow down the absolute rebounding monster that is Kris Humphries. Even your little sister who hates sports knows that Boston doesn't have to worry about Brook Lopez on the glass. Rumor around the water-cooler is that he's literally allergic to rebounds.
One Game We Won't Watch Tonight: San Antonio Spurs vs. New York Knicks
Sorry but I'm not looking to party like it's 1999 tonight. Allan Houston ain't walking through that door. He's watching the game with a tie on from a luxury box.
No doubt beaming about their first opportunity to meet the BrooklyKnight in person, Doc Rivers and the gang head to what is affectionately known as "BK" tonight for an Atlantic Conference showdown with the Nets (formerly of New Jersey, FYI). The dubious storyline for tonight's basketball match is the health of the ever-spectacular, Rajon Rondo. If he suits up, fans will be treated to a game of point-guard chess between two of the world's best round-ball quarterbacks. If Rondo is in formal wear on the bench, then Deron Williams and Joe Johnson should be able to "run this town tonight." That's a Jay-Z lyric, FYI. He's part owner of the Nets, FYI.
Either way, Rondo will likely make the trip, look his best and beam outwardly when he accepts an autograph from the world's most important mascot, the BrooklyKnight.
Both Brooklyn and Boston are coming off victories in their previous basketball contests. The Cs put the ball in the hoop more frequently than the Jazz last night while the Nets did the same against the Cavaliers a few evenings ago.
Some other food for thought: Who will guard Paul Pierce? While Joe Johnson definitely has the size, one has to wonder if he's a skilled enough marksman (yeah, that word makes sense for a defender also) to slow down the always clever, never predictable Pierce. Word around the grapevine is that rebounds are important too, in winning games, so it should be tantalizing to watch and see if KG can slow down the absolute rebounding monster that is Kris Humphries. Even your little sister who hates sports knows that Boston doesn't have to worry about Brook Lopez on the glass. Rumor around the water-cooler is that he's literally allergic to rebounds.
One Game We Won't Watch Tonight: San Antonio Spurs vs. New York Knicks
Sorry but I'm not looking to party like it's 1999 tonight. Allan Houston ain't walking through that door. He's watching the game with a tie on from a luxury box.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Who'd You Get?!: Toronto Raptors, Upper Deck (1996)
We at No Regard used to collect basketball cards. Convincing a parent to shuttle us and our friends to the local collector's shop was a consistently important victory. When we found out KMart was selling entire boxes for $20, we almost wore out our bike tires pedaling back and forth.
Now we've unearthed the cache, and the results are stunning. We've been reminded that players named Dino Radja and Wesley Person briefly and forcefully carved out steady roles for themselves in the league. We've been straight tickled by the goofy casual pics. And we've been touched and inspired by the relentless optimism of the copywriters. We hope you enjoy this odd time capsule, a Utopian angle from which to view the league, where everyone is the next somebody and context is pointless.
Back of the card after the jump.
Now we've unearthed the cache, and the results are stunning. We've been reminded that players named Dino Radja and Wesley Person briefly and forcefully carved out steady roles for themselves in the league. We've been straight tickled by the goofy casual pics. And we've been touched and inspired by the relentless optimism of the copywriters. We hope you enjoy this odd time capsule, a Utopian angle from which to view the league, where everyone is the next somebody and context is pointless.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
No Regard Recap: Four More Years!
One Team We Haven't Watched This Year: Boston Celtics
Record: 2-2
I refuse to bore you with the details of why I haven't been able to watch my favorite team, the Boston Celtics, this year. You've got the Internet: You're familiar with weather, democracy and whatever other dumb excuse I have for not keeping up with Rajon and the gang.
To make up for it, here's a summary of their season so far. I might not have watched the games, but like you, I've got the Internet and I've got some functioning eyeballs.
Record: 2-2
I refuse to bore you with the details of why I haven't been able to watch my favorite team, the Boston Celtics, this year. You've got the Internet: You're familiar with weather, democracy and whatever other dumb excuse I have for not keeping up with Rajon and the gang.
To make up for it, here's a summary of their season so far. I might not have watched the games, but like you, I've got the Internet and I've got some functioning eyeballs.
Friday, November 2, 2012
No Regard Presidential Previews: Brooklyn Nets (Thomas J. Whitmore)
Oh the season. Oh the season! Election or NBA, both are upon us. We're getting into the spirit by bringing you our season previews (with a little help from the presidents). One per day for the next 30 days—which will bring us to the Day of Reckoning. So please join us on the campaign trail as we shake hands, kiss babies and sink jumpers.
"We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!" - Thomas J. Whitmore
A fictional team deserves a fictional president. But since they are the team I root for, the Brooklyn Nets get the greatest fictional president in this country's fictional history: Thomas J. Whitmore.
Whitmore led his country, and (in Roland Emmerich's xenophobic world view) the rest of the planet, through dark, dangerous times. The only way he was in a position to do this, though, was by narrowly escaping certain death in the flamboyant destruction of the White House, the most famous explosion of all time. You'll never catch me saying an unkind word about Jersey, but the Izod Center was a well-known awful home for the Nets for some time. To protect the brave men and women who loved and cared for the team, the Nets had to get out. Grab the kids, grab the dog, grab a world-class point guard and get out.
Even after escape, the odds were long against Whitmore and his country. They needed a plan and a little luck. But first, Whitmore needed to rally the troops, who were not really troops, but a rag-tag group of refugees. Perfect.
You know the Independence Day Speech. You watch the scene every July 4th because you know how to celebrate all that is good and just in this oppressive world. It's the finest example of presidential oration ever committed to tape. It's the rally cry to rally all future rally cries. Whitmore's words urged those fighter pilots to gladly and determinedly fly into unknown oblivion, equal parts possible glory and possible death. The incredibly deft marketing propaganda that the Nets organization has produced is Whitmore's speech. The Nets have convinced thousands of folks with disposable income that this as-of-now fictional cause is where they need to place their faith and allegiance. Much of a borough—and a few pockets of other metro area citizens—has bought into something that doesn't exist yet and that may very easily cause them suffering in the future. (Obviously, the Nets have been around for many years at this point, but the Nets team/experience that we are now being promised is brand new and, until the actual team plays an actual game on their actual court, not real.)
What comes next is what matters, though. The planes are in the air. Instructions have been given. Randy Quaid is sobering up. The plan is underway. Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith are inside the mothership. Now? It's time for the Nets to get on the court and prove that, indeed, they are real thing.
Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers
Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Unown
Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Hello Brooklyn"
Headline we're most looking forward to: "Reggie Evans Spends Entire Game Shaking Hands of Every Fan in Arena, Boosts Morale"
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "This is really fun, but I was really hoping it'd work in Jersey."
"We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!" - Thomas J. Whitmore
A fictional team deserves a fictional president. But since they are the team I root for, the Brooklyn Nets get the greatest fictional president in this country's fictional history: Thomas J. Whitmore.
Whitmore led his country, and (in Roland Emmerich's xenophobic world view) the rest of the planet, through dark, dangerous times. The only way he was in a position to do this, though, was by narrowly escaping certain death in the flamboyant destruction of the White House, the most famous explosion of all time. You'll never catch me saying an unkind word about Jersey, but the Izod Center was a well-known awful home for the Nets for some time. To protect the brave men and women who loved and cared for the team, the Nets had to get out. Grab the kids, grab the dog, grab a world-class point guard and get out.
Even after escape, the odds were long against Whitmore and his country. They needed a plan and a little luck. But first, Whitmore needed to rally the troops, who were not really troops, but a rag-tag group of refugees. Perfect.
You know the Independence Day Speech. You watch the scene every July 4th because you know how to celebrate all that is good and just in this oppressive world. It's the finest example of presidential oration ever committed to tape. It's the rally cry to rally all future rally cries. Whitmore's words urged those fighter pilots to gladly and determinedly fly into unknown oblivion, equal parts possible glory and possible death. The incredibly deft marketing propaganda that the Nets organization has produced is Whitmore's speech. The Nets have convinced thousands of folks with disposable income that this as-of-now fictional cause is where they need to place their faith and allegiance. Much of a borough—and a few pockets of other metro area citizens—has bought into something that doesn't exist yet and that may very easily cause them suffering in the future. (Obviously, the Nets have been around for many years at this point, but the Nets team/experience that we are now being promised is brand new and, until the actual team plays an actual game on their actual court, not real.)
What comes next is what matters, though. The planes are in the air. Instructions have been given. Randy Quaid is sobering up. The plan is underway. Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith are inside the mothership. Now? It's time for the Nets to get on the court and prove that, indeed, they are real thing.
Rushed Pull-Up Jumpers
Pokemon who the team should adopt as its new mascot: Unown
Headline we'll be most sick of reading: "Hello Brooklyn"
Headline we're most looking forward to: "Reggie Evans Spends Entire Game Shaking Hands of Every Fan in Arena, Boosts Morale"
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you enter the pearly gates?: "This is really fun, but I was really hoping it'd work in Jersey."
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Goodbye New York, Hello Brooklyn
This post is written by law student and former Knicks fan Matt Engel. We couldn't be happier to post this here.
Divorce. Despite the frequency with which it’s used, it is still a nasty business. The kids (if they exist) always get hurt. There’s endless acrimony about dividing money and property. Lucky to have been personally unaffected, from what I’ve heard from friends and seen in movies, divorce brings out the worst in people. Still, despite the pain, after it’s all over and done with, divorce can provide the promise for a new beginning, for something better.
For years in the United States, a divorce could only be accomplished if the party seeking dissolution found a legal fault with his/her incompatible counterpart. Now, though, with the advent of “no-fault” divorce, a marriage may be ended for such excellent vagaries as Irreconcilable Differences, Incompatibility, and my personal favorite, Irredeemable Breakdown of the Marriage. In 2010, New York became the last state to move from a legal scheme that allowed only fault divorces, to one that permits no-fault divorces as well.
Without wasting any more of my or your time, I’ll assert my privilege: Goodbye, New York Knicks.
Divorce. Despite the frequency with which it’s used, it is still a nasty business. The kids (if they exist) always get hurt. There’s endless acrimony about dividing money and property. Lucky to have been personally unaffected, from what I’ve heard from friends and seen in movies, divorce brings out the worst in people. Still, despite the pain, after it’s all over and done with, divorce can provide the promise for a new beginning, for something better.
For years in the United States, a divorce could only be accomplished if the party seeking dissolution found a legal fault with his/her incompatible counterpart. Now, though, with the advent of “no-fault” divorce, a marriage may be ended for such excellent vagaries as Irreconcilable Differences, Incompatibility, and my personal favorite, Irredeemable Breakdown of the Marriage. In 2010, New York became the last state to move from a legal scheme that allowed only fault divorces, to one that permits no-fault divorces as well.
Without wasting any more of my or your time, I’ll assert my privilege: Goodbye, New York Knicks.
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