We here at No Regard love our stories. And the playoffs are where each narrative strand that was teased in the regular season is shredded or affirmed. So, here are the first round series as we see them. Thank you.The Bucks have been every League Passer's sweetheart since day negative one (turning the name Ersan Ilyasova into NBA geek cultural currency), but with Bogut injured, the BUCKS STOP HERE... LOLZZERS 4 WTF.
But seriously forks, as excited as I am to see Jennings' game one haircut (I'm thinking he'll go simple, with the stoic high-top that got him here; but maybe we'll see another revolutionary stylo like we did All-Star Weekend), he's capable of shooting the Bucks out of at least two games at this point, and how much can we really expect from John Salmons past a scratchy beard and 20 points?
More importantly, the surprisingly mild-mannered Hawks. Crawford may be the least cutthroat player ever to drop 50 that many times, Bibby and Joe Johnson just seem like guys who hate breaking rules and even Josh Smith quietly shattered his billing as an uncoachable troublemaker this year.
At some point in the last two years, though, these nice gentlemen decided that the suburban sprawl of being simply young super-athletes was getting boring, so they applied for motorcycle licenses and started acting like the other elite biker gangs of the league. But we've yet to find out if their personalities have caught up with their talent, or if their jump to a 50-win team is simply posturing.
They took the about-to-be-champion Celtics to a game seven in 2008 (probably akin to some act two triumph for Travolta and company), but then got swept by the questionable Cavs of '08-'09 (paralleling some early act three beat-down at the hands of Ray Liotta, I'm sure). Truth is I've never seen Wild Hogs (I'll happily watch Blankman for this Website, but I have boundaries and my safe word happens to be "midlife crisis road trip"), so I'm not sure how this gets resolved. Hopefully, it will involve Joe Johnson breaking out of his mild-mannered Bill Macy demeanor to torch fools, an angry Zaza and much more of this.
Let's take this already-forced comparison to it's breaking point, shall we? Lightning Round:
*Peep that tagline on the poster: The road has definitely been unkind to the Hawks, who have won just one road playoff game in the last two years.
*Actor Kevin Durand is in Wild Hogs, just one letter away from a basketball player.
Oh yeah, basketball: When Bogut's arm exploded all true NBA heads got robbed of the riot we were so looking forward to, but we may be better rewarded in the long run by an easy first round warmup for the Hawks, who just might make a run at this thing.
Defining Quote
Bobby Davis: I think we better get out of here.
Woody Stevens: No, we'll get out of here at sundown, after we've had our beverage.
Hawks in 4
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