We don't throw the phrase "the gift that keeps on giving" around too often these days at No Regard. But then again, it's rare that one of our heroes does something so remarkable, so inspiring, so downright revolutionary that we find ourselves completely overwhelmed with pure ecstasy. If you've been "living in the real world and paying attention to things that effect people's well-being" the past couple of weeks, blasting your iPod at full volume and haven't heard: Ron Artest is hoping to legally change his name to Metta World Peace.We've been tickled by his shenanigans in years past—driving a race car around Los Angeles, sparking a massive brawl after running into the stands and hoping to punch people from Detroit, thanking his therapist after game seven of the NBA finals, winning the Citizenship award, trying to behead Jose Juan Julio Sebastian Gonzalez Barea—the list goes on.
But this one takes the proverbial cake.
What sort of Al Qaeda member isn't a fan of athletes changing their names? Ever since Chad Ochocinco set the precedent (at least, in my generation) a few years back, I've been hoping for other athletes to follow suit, but no such luck. This simple filing of legal documents, combined with his flirtation with Sporting KC this summer easily made Ochocinco the favorite NFL player of a few No Regard staffers. But it's time to move over Plain-Jane Chad, you are old news. If you're Zack Morris' big-ass cell phone on Saved By the Bell, then Metta is one of those sick-ass new iPads that does all sorts of wonky nonsense.
The future Mr. Metta World Peace saw your "Chad Ochocinco" and raised you a billion poker chips. And he made it look easy.
Check and mate.
Which NBA player do you most hope changes his name next?
ReplyDeleteAnthony Morrow might be good, seeing as his Twitter handle (@BlackBoiPachino) is so nutty. I could also see Chris Douglas-Roberts launching a social networking site, then changing his name to the URL. And Deshawn Stevenson is pretty much always a great answer to any NBA-related question.
Those are all good options. I like to think that Ricky Rubio will never change his name.
ReplyDeleteWhat about Stephen Jackson going with "Captain Jack?"
The best would be if Lebron changed his name to King James. Somebody might murder him if he did though, actually, which is fucked up, you know?
I think Barea should go with "John Smith".
ReplyDeleteIs that a reference to Pocahontas?
ReplyDelete