This is a different kind of mock draft. First, we have basically ignored all of the big rumors from the last couple days. We think it would be boring to move Ekpe Udoh up just because apparently reliable sources say he's definitely going to the Warriors. We think that would be a dumb pick, and so we're leaving him down where we've had him for a week. For example. Also, we've tried to tap into the spirits of these guys, giving some insight into how some of them will react to hearing their name called and how others will get on with their new teammates and coaches. Characters, you know? It's going to be a fun night, and we hope this mock draft will get you even more excited.
1. Washington Wizards- John Wall, PG, Kentucky
Wall is an interesting case. Derrick Rose's performance over the past two years has served as a reminder that drafting a point guard (especially one who plays like Rose) with the #1 can pay off. But Wall will be going into a broken system in Washington, and his talent might be the kind that can't survive on a planet without water. The best-case scenario here, though, is insanely good. Wall could be easily be an All-Star this year, and an MVP within five.
Initial Thought Upon Hearing Name: "Do I need to get rid of my guns?"
Team Bestie: Gil. I could honestly see these two having a great time together.
Secret Nickname for Coach: Lil' Flip
2. Philadelphia 76ers- Evan Turner, SG, Ohio State
This one won't be a surprise. It is tempting to say that Turner will end up being another Durant--a No. 2 pick that goes on to torment the team that passed him up. While there's no reason to think that Wall will be as tragic a case as Oden, something about Turner's maturity makes him seem more poised to make a big difference in the long-term.
Initial Thought Upon Hearing Name: "Glad I don't have to act surprised, because leaving my comfort zone scares me."
Team Bestie: Andre Iguodala. They will watch Pixar movies together and maybe even drink a couple beers if they're feeling crazy. But mostly just Pixar movies.
Secret Nickname for Coach: Doug Funny
3. New Jersey Nets- Derrick Favors, PF, Georgia Tech
Even though word is the Nets are leaning toward Wes Johnson, the Georgia Tech big man is the only way to go here. He has the chance to be an insanely dominant forward. Could end up making the earth sick.
Initial Thought Upon Hearing Name: "I wonder if those Prokhorov prostitute party claims are true."
Team Bestie: Yi. Bonding over noodles.
Secret Nickname for Coach: Squeaks
4. Minnesota Timberwolves- Wesley Johnson, SF, Syracuse
Johnson's body type is similar to that of Kerry Kittles, and his years at Syracuse sort of resembled Kittles' Villanova days. Unfortunately, I'm not sure Johnson will ever have any more impact than Kittles did. Not a bad choice, but not gonna make any team a title contender in the foreseeable future.
Initial Thought Upon Hearing Name: "Can't be colder than Syracuse, right?"
Team Bestie: Kevin Love. Kevin Love is very funny, and Wesley Johnson likes to laugh until he has to pee:
5. Sacramento Kings- DeMarcus Cousins, PF/C, Kentucky
Cousins could fall anywhere in this draft from third to an episode of "Criss Angel Mindfreak," that's just the kind of upside vs. mental collapse toolkit he's working with. The Nets may take a chance at number three, but they'd rather not goad the poltergeist of Derrick Coleman into traveling to Newark with them; they want him to stay in the swamps. But Cousins is too talented to fall further than five, so (maybe) sorry Kings.
Initial Thought Upon Hearing Name: "I wonder if those Prokhorov prostitute party claims are true."
Secret Nickname For Coach: Old guy I need to remember who's not named "Mr. Maloof"
