NBA Player Placment Services: Glen Davis

With the lockout here, and here to stay, we have the sad prospect of no NBA games for quite some time. Instead of dwelling on the politics, finance and bullshit that's all conspired to strip our favorite league from us, we've decided to look on the bright side. New careers for our beloved NBA superstars! And what better place to look for these new ventures than Craigslist, a Website where wacky jobs are numerous and sometimes even real. Since they've already given us so much, we've taken the initiative to try and help these unemployed athletes find a new calling.
Craigslist Posting

7/20/2011, Pembroke, MA, Salon/Spa Positions

"Rapture Salon & Spa, in Pembroke Ma., is a modern, full service, upscale salon which has positions available for experienced hair stylist, esthetician and massage therapist who are professional and passionate about their trade. NEW LOCATION! Benefits available.

Looking for employment in an enthusiastic environment? Contact Heather at 781-829-0200. We look forward to meeting you!"
Why He Should Apply

Big Baby has always seeked employment in enthusiastic environments. He's a consummate professional and there is no questioning the passion he holds for his jobs.

Regarding the "experience" required as a hair stylist, esthetician (fuck if we know what that is) and massage therapist, I can only think to quote Neo from The Matrix as an appropriate way of articulating how much that drivel really matters to Glen Davis and his desire to work for Rapture Salon and Spa.

"Yeah, wow, that sounds like a really good deal. But I think I got a better one. How bout' I give you the finger, and you give me my phone call?"

What He Should Wear to the Interview

Handsome young man, Glen. Massage at will.