NBA Lockout Player Placement Services: Marcin Gortat

With the lockout here, and here to stay, we have the sad prospect of no NBA games for quite some time. Instead of dwelling on the politics, finance and bullshit that's all conspired to strip our favorite league from us, we've decided to look on the bright side. New careers for our beloved NBA superstars! And what better place to look for these new ventures than Craigslist, a Website where wacky jobs are numerous and sometimes even real. Since they've already given us so much, we've taken the initiative to try and help these unemployed athletes find a new calling.

Craigslist Posting

7/18/2011, Scottsdale/Paradise Valley, Swimming Pool Service Repair Tech

"Must have experience and your own truck.
We have a pool route on Friday that we are looking to fill plus repairs.
Please send a resume or call 602-765-2948."

Why He Should Apply
When the Orlando Magic front office had a panic attack early last year and decided to gut their roster and ship half their team off to different cities in the U.S., one of athletes they moved was Marcin Gortat. Big mistake. Gortat was an absolute beast for the Suns in the latter half of the season. He's living proof that one man's trash is another man's treasure. And he'll do the same as a swimming pool service repair tech during this NBA lockout. We'll just assume that he definitely has "experience" fixing pools, and we know he can afford a truck.

What He Should Wear to the Interview

Pictures say a 1,000 words, Marcin.