Reginald Jamaal Evans
Thursday, March 28, 2013
NBA Middle Names: Reggie Evans
We at No Regard spend a lot of time in our NBA knitting circles trying to figure out the human side of these players. Whether it's musing about their commutes to work, how much "Call of Duty" they play, or what their favorite snack food is, we like to remind ourselves that NBA players are nothing more than young men with enviable jobs. What better way to humanize our heroes than look up their middle names?
Reginald Jamaal Evans
Reginald Jamaal Evans
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
No Regard Recaps: A New Source of Clean Energy
One Game We Watched Last Night: Denver Nuggets vs. Oklahoma City Thunder
Nuggets: 114, Thunder: 104
This game is the answer the America's clean energy question. Watching Russ and Kenneth and Iggy and even Reggie Jackson blur across the floor like manic jaguars in fast forward presents an idea: Harness this energy to power cities. A Westbrook drive could heat a school for three days. A Faried offensive rebound and dunk could run a fleet of buses for a week. A JaVale goaltend could power one goaltending-powered joke machine for eternity.
If we want to get that highly coveted federal grant, though, somebody has to talk to Kevin Durant. In the fourth quarter, he was not being absurdly athletic and energetic (even though he is). He was being unfailingly polite. On most possessions, he stood behind the three line to the left of the key and called for the ball, which never came. On two consecutive possessions he calmly waved at Westbrook like someone who has run into a friend he is only sort of excited to see. Russell is too constantly hopped up on fury and Cheetos to notice such tepid pleas. Kev didn't get the ball. He is and will always be the most important piece of the Thunder's government proposal, so he needs to act like it.
Sure, this whole energy experiment has its risks (as Serge's bloodied head discovered on its own), but what revolution doesn't? A playoff series between these two teams would ween us of foreign oil in seven games.
One Game We Didn't Watch Last Night: Los Angeles Clippers vs. Sacramento Kings
Clippers: 101, Kings: 116
Haha, ok. So happy the Kings didn't waste a 19-point, 7-assist game by Toney Douglas.
Nuggets: 114, Thunder: 104
This game is the answer the America's clean energy question. Watching Russ and Kenneth and Iggy and even Reggie Jackson blur across the floor like manic jaguars in fast forward presents an idea: Harness this energy to power cities. A Westbrook drive could heat a school for three days. A Faried offensive rebound and dunk could run a fleet of buses for a week. A JaVale goaltend could power one goaltending-powered joke machine for eternity.
If we want to get that highly coveted federal grant, though, somebody has to talk to Kevin Durant. In the fourth quarter, he was not being absurdly athletic and energetic (even though he is). He was being unfailingly polite. On most possessions, he stood behind the three line to the left of the key and called for the ball, which never came. On two consecutive possessions he calmly waved at Westbrook like someone who has run into a friend he is only sort of excited to see. Russell is too constantly hopped up on fury and Cheetos to notice such tepid pleas. Kev didn't get the ball. He is and will always be the most important piece of the Thunder's government proposal, so he needs to act like it.
Sure, this whole energy experiment has its risks (as Serge's bloodied head discovered on its own), but what revolution doesn't? A playoff series between these two teams would ween us of foreign oil in seven games.
One Game We Didn't Watch Last Night: Los Angeles Clippers vs. Sacramento Kings
Clippers: 101, Kings: 116
Haha, ok. So happy the Kings didn't waste a 19-point, 7-assist game by Toney Douglas.
Friday, March 1, 2013
No Regard Previews: NBA Forever
One Game We Will Watch Tonight: Miami Heat vs. Memphis Grizzles
How could we not suggest that this is the game you watch tonight?
How could we not suggest that this is the game you watch tonight?
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