The Lockout Is Over

The 66-game season will start on Christmas Day. We're kind of excited over here. See you all soon.

NBA Middle Names: David Stern

We at No Regard spend a lot of time in our NBA knitting circles trying to figure out the human side of these players. Whether it's musing about their commutes to work, how much "Call of Duty" they play, or what their favorite snack food is, we like to remind ourselves that NBA players are nothing more than young men with enviable jobs. What better way to humanize our heroes than look up their middle names?

David Joel Stern

NBA Lockout Player Placement Services: Stephen Curry

With the lockout here, and here to stay, we have the sad prospect of no NBA games for quite some time. Instead of dwelling on the politics, finance and bullshit that's all conspired to strip our favorite league from us, we've decided to look on the bright side. New careers for our beloved NBA superstars! And what better place to look for these new ventures than Craigslist, a Website where wacky jobs are numerous and sometimes even real. Since they've already given us so much, we've taken the initiative to try and help these unemployed athletes find a new calling. 


Craigslist Posting: SF Bay Area, Line Cook - The tipsy PIG (marina/cow hollow)

"Looking for a line cook who has 2 years experience at a highly competitive well known restaurant . Fast past kitchen. Must be organized, clean, fast and detail oriented. Must be a team player. Serve safe a plus. Open schedule. Must be able to work both days, nights and weekends.


Thank you


please only serious career oriented cooks need apply." 

Why He Should Apply

I'm not sure if you follow Steph Curry on Twitter but I do and I've noticed a serious trend in his tweets as of late: So many of them are about food. For instance: "Bomb steak..." Or what about: "Bout to get physical with this club sandwich and afternoon nap." Sure, Steph may not have the necessary "2 years experience" as a line cook, but we certainly can confirm that Steph is organized, clean, fast and detailed oriented. Team player? You bet your ass, team player. Steph Curry represents the definition of "team player." Open weekends, days and nights? He is now.

What He Should Wear To The Interview

 Fun, casual, professional, pinstripe pants. You'll be grilling burgers in no time, Steph!

The NBA Lockout Has Started

Something About a Number

The NBA minimum age requirement is the kind of issue that makes one feel as though all that can possibly be said already has been said. Yet, as last week's news that the players' union may use the abolition of the rule as a bargaining chip proves, it is an issue that still requires some conversation.

When the current rule, which states that a player must be both 19 as of his draft year and that he must be one year removed from high school in order to be eligible for the draft, went into place in 2006, I was cautiously supportive. Although I was fully aware of the class and racial implications that made the issue so heated, and although I was (and still am) a very liberal fan and believer in giving more power to players, I had also seen a lot of heartbreaking career turns that I imagined could have been avoided had this rule been in place. I had seen Darius Miles let mediocrity frustrate him and turn him into a "difficult" player. I had seen Kwame Brown fail to develop at an NBA level and become selfish and, perhaps, delusional. I had seen Jonathan Bender underperform in every way imaginable. I had seen Eddy Curry get eaten alive by the pressures of fame, expectations, and medical issues.