No Regard Daily Previews: Holden Caufield

One Game We Will Watch Tonight:
Denver Nuggets Vs. Orlando Magic

I'm not in love with what is going on with either of these franchises these days.

I understand that Orlando is still one of the top teams in the East record-wise, Dwight Howard's offensive game has improved since last year and Stan Van Gundy is a great coach. Fine.


Their current constitution, however, just isn't enough to get them over the hump and back into the Finals. Nor will it ever be. They've put too much stock into players like Rashard Lewis, who disappears in big games, and Jameer Nelson, who, as Andrew Abides has pointed out, is an average point guard in a league full of superstars at his position. They're almost like the girl that looks super hot from far away and the closer you get to her the more you realize that she's actually not the babe you thought she was. Girls like that need makeovers. Just like Orlando does. Blow it up. Vince isn't getting any younger, Redick's never going to be anything more than a spot-up shooter that can occasionally drive and hustle, and Howard's inability to hit free throws down the stretch leaves them wondering who should get the rock in the end when it counts.

In short, they beat up on bad teams and lose to good teams. Which makes them a bunch of phonies.

For Denver, they continue pulling off their Melo band-aid as slowly as possible. As we know, this strategy just makes it more painful. Rip the damn thing off already, for Christsake.

Unless you've been living in a cave on Mars since the start of the summer, you know that this guy wants to go to the Knicks. He hasn't been a phony about it. Move him and move on. I, for one, can't wait to see how bad Billups looks on his own without a first banana. There's another phony. "Mr. Big Shot." Yeah, right. Not once, not never. (Fine, maybe a few times, but absolutely not now.)

One Game That We're Not Going To Watch Tonight:
Atlanta Hawks Vs. Detroit Pistons

Speaking of phonies, the Detroit Pistons might have more phonies per capita than any team in the NBA. I wonder how often Rip Hamilton, Big Ben, and Tayshaun Prince wake up in the middle of the night and think to themselves, "What the hell am I still doing on this godforsaken team. We suck, and I suck. Jesus."

Often, probably. Phonies.

Don't get me started on the Hawks. Phonies, all of 'em. 'Cept you, Mike. You know I love you, baby. Wanna go for a Mcbibb soon? My treat.