Who is Portland's Coach?

I turned on ESPN to watch the Thunder play the Blazers last night and was surprised to no longer see Nate McMillan on the sideline. I momentarily forgot that he was recently relieved of his duties in Portland. Much to my wonder, some character named Kaleb Canales was on the bench coaching his little heart out. I had never seen him, and had no clue who he was.

So what did I do? What everyone does when they don't know what something is: Hopped on my Internet machine, went to Google and typed in, "who is the coach of the Portland Trail Blazers." Google's initial answer was, "Best Guess for Portland Trail Blazers Coach is Nate McMillan." Great, Google, I didn't realize you were so dumb. Thanks for all the help, jerk.

Next, I visited http://en.wikipedia.org and typed in, "Portland Trail Blazers head coach." The search results did not include Kaleb Canales on the first two pages of results. Nice work, Wikipedia. Get with the times!

After tirelessly searching away for at least three more minutes, I finally found out who's drawing up plays during timeouts in Rip City: Kaleb Canales. Thereafter, all I could determine was that he worked as video guy for the team for awhile and is the NBA's first Mexican-American head coach.

Who are you, Kaleb Canales?

Who'd You Get?!: Pervis Ellison, SkyBox (1990)

We at No Regard used to collect basketball cards. Convincing a parent to shuttle us and our friends to the local collector's shop was a consistently important victory. When we found out KMart was selling entire boxes for $20, we almost wore out our bike tires pedaling back and forth.

Now we've unearthed the cache, and the results are stunning. We've been reminded that players named Dino Radja and Wesley Person briefly and forcefully carved out steady roles for themselves in the league. We've been straight tickled by the goofy casual pics. And we've been touched and inspired by the relentless optimism of the copywriters. We hope you enjoy this odd time capsule, a Utopian angle from which to view the league, where everyone is the next somebody and context is pointless.

 Back of the card after the jump.

Here's To You, Coach D'Antoni

It has been a rough few days over here at No Regard. First, Rubio is ripped from our lives prematurely and now this: Mike D'Antoni is no longer the head coach of the New York Knicks. Boo! Hiss! Bring back D'Antoni!!

Sure, the team has "lost six straight games," "doesn't try hard," and has "chemistry issues." Whatever. And maybe "the coach is to blame for these type of problems." Whatever. And perhaps a "new voice will salvage the season." Yeah, yeah, whatever buddy. You've got all the answers, don't you?

Point is that Mike D'Antoni is a wonderful man and a brilliant basketball mind. He played ball in Italy, sports an attractive moustache, and created the most effective and ingenious offensive strategy in the history of basketball. Don't even bring up the triangle as a rebuttal. Whatever that is.

So, as a tribute, I've decided to express my thoughts on D'Antoni's time as a Knick, just how he'd like it, in seven words or less:

Here's To You, Ricky

Raise your hand if you are devastated about Ricky Rubio's torn ACL. Me too. Him being out for the season and set to miss the Olympics due to a horrible knee injury (RIP Willis McGahee) is exactly that, horrible. But my larger concern is that this special point guard will never be the same, epically awesome basketball messiah ever again.

However, since one of my 2012 New Year's resolutions was to view the world with more of a glass-half-full type of attitude, I'll try my best to imagine that the Spaniard comes back next season better than ever—an MVP candidate and playoff contender to boot. In the meantime, we can raise a glass to RR and remember the good, nay the great times.

Five Games After Which George Karl Should Have Told J.R. Smith He Played A Good Game

Yesterday morning J.R. Smith tweeted this: "First time I heard good game in 6yrs from my head coach! This Man gives me confidence!" I love getting yet another bit of confirmation that Mike D'Antoni encourages his offensive weapons with regularity. But we're not here to talk about Mike D'Antoni.

We're here to talk about George Karl.

He never said, "Good game," to J.R. Smith once? Never? Six years goes back to Smith's New Orleans days, so his entire tenure with the Karl-coached Nuggets is encompassed here. And Karl never, not once, told the guy he played a good game? Are we making jokes here? Karl, who seems like a good dude, had literally hundreds of chances to utter these two syllables in Smith's general direction. Such a simple thing to do. And such an important thing to do, especially when we're talking about a player who made "mercurial" a household word.

Sorry if I'm taking the scenic route here. All I'm trying to say is this: George Karl should have told J.R. Smith that he played a good game at least a few times in his five seasons as head coach of J.R. Smith.

In fact, here are five games that would have worked.

A Smart Man Talks About Rajon Rondo

My Dad has been a lifetime Celtics fan. When I was a kid, he often told me about one of his favorite plays and calls ever, the famous "Havilcek stole the Ball!". He loved watching Bird, the Chief and McHale dominate the NBA. He knows Celtic basketball. So when he tells me his opinions on the current outfit, specifically Rondo, via email on a Friday night, I take the man's words seriously. Here's the unabridged email he sent me, without warning, in response to the trade rumors surrounding Rondo. Enjoy.

NBA Middle Names: Deron Williams

We at No Regard spend a lot of time in our NBA knitting circles trying to figure out the human side of these players. Whether it's musing about their commutes to work, how much "Call of Duty" they play, or what their favorite snack food is, we like to remind ourselves that NBA players are nothing more than young men with enviable jobs. What better way to humanize our heroes than look up their middle names?

Deron Michael Williams

Top Five Storylines For The NBA's Second Half

Now that we know what Kobe Bryant looks like wearing a mask, we can go ahead and start talking about the second half of the NBA season. The shorted/smushed season hasn't made much sense so far, but I'm pretty certain that the nuttiness will only ratchet up in the second half.

Here are my top five most interesting, intriguing, important and super incredible storylines to look out for as we barrel towards the playoffs at a John Wall pace.